putter65 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 I sent a text to golf woman asking her if she wants to play next week. She replied saying she was unwell and can't play. Sounds like bull * * * * to me. Oh well at least I tried. Nobody can say I haven't. I have and nothing works for me. Not with this woman, not with any. Nothing goes my way ! I'm not even asking for dates, this is just friendship. Just spending time with somebody, have a nice chat. I could ask and ask and ask until I'm blue in the face. (Which I have been doing !) and I get nowhere ! Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Lets go over the advice I've received on here. Join a group or club. Why ? So more women can not like me. I joined places in the past. People, women don't like me. Don't fixate on one woman. Well I haven't in the last month or so. Not like it's done me any good. I can't see signs. Because they are not there. Simple as that ! Be more bold. I am and it's got me nowhere. What is the point ? Be different. Well I am a nice person and I treat people with respect. I could change and become an arse. But if I did that I couldn't live with myself. I'm not having a go at people on here. Your advice may be good for other people. I obviously belong in some sub section, a group of people who have no chance whatsoever of meeting someone. These people exist and it's nothing to do with 'they hate themselves' or 'they have no confidence' - deep down they know, like I do. It's just not going to happen. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 The only good thing to come out of this is - I'm getting used to it. Rejection, disapointment. I know the answer before I ask, I am not surprized anymore. It doesn't hurt like it used to, yes for maybe 5 minutes after. I went 12 years without asking a woman out because I knew what happens. In the last 6 months I have started up again. Same result. One other thing I've learned is - don't believe what a woman says. They want to do this, they want to do that. All crap. 99.9 % is just harmless flirting / piss taking. That's all it is. And yes a woman comes along who feels sorry for me for 5 minutes. Just like golf woman. It's like sponsor a donkey or something like that. They feel sorry for me, that's all. Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Joining a group or club isn't solely to meet women. It is to open your horizons, learn something new, increase your confidence and your social skills, with women and men. Your future wife could be there, but you will never know because you've got a negative attitude right out the gate and people WILL pick that up. Dating is a numbers game, and focusing on one woman for months on end before moving onto the next will not help you. But socialising and increasing your social circle will increase your chances of you finding someone. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 The negative attitude comes about because nothing goes right. And the numbers game for me would be a very large number. I've been an adult for 25 years. You think of all the women I've come accross or met. Only two have ever liked me. And the less said about those two the better ! I wish you could meet me because I will not be what you think. I'm not the shy, nervous, bumbling fool. I am a confident person. I just don't like large groups of people or noisy places. I think that's my problem ! Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Ok, well, I think I've helped you enough putter. If you put half as much energy into avoiding as you did with taking my advice, you would be much happier by now. OP - I hope that you return soon and give us an update. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I thought I was taking your advice. Sending the message to that woman from work, I was reaching out to people. Trying to make more friends. Since we get on at work, I don't see the big deal about us spending time together away from work. That's what my message was aiming for. Maybe if she had replied and we swapped a few messages, I could have asked her somewhere. As friends as well. I have looked at adult classes and volunteer work. There isn't anything. There isn't alot going on where I live. No book clubs, that would be interesting thing to do. Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 There must be something to do where you live to broaden your horizons a bit... Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Alot of solo things to do. Going to the cinema, going for a bike ride. Those things appeal to me. I would enjoy a book club, I would enjoy any volunteer work that involves computers / internet. Working on a magazine / paper would be interesting. I will have a look ! Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I've had male friends in the past, mostly thru golf. I've never had many friends really. Mainly because I don't do the number one thing people do: Drink beer ! Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Joining a group or club isn't solely to meet women. It is to open your horizons, learn something new, increase your confidence and your social skills, with women and men. Your future wife could be there, but you will never know because you've got a negative attitude right out the gate and people WILL pick that up. Dating is a numbers game, and focusing on one woman for months on end before moving onto the next will not help you. But socialising and increasing your social circle will increase your chances of you finding someone. That's true and pursuing a woman who isn't legititimitely interested it is like banging your head against the wall.No matter what you do it just isn't going to happen .On the other hand a woman who is truly interested and available ,the smallest ''play'' or show of interest can do remarkable things .Dating is a numbers game ,you are correct. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 And the less attractive you are the larger the 'number is' ! Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Somebody at work has just started chatting with me on facebook. She said the golf woman is unwell. The woman who started chatting with me was the one I sent a long message to. She didn't reply to it which annoyed me a bit. She didn't mention the message but we had a nice, long chat. I briefly mentioned how I lack confidence with women and she just said stuff like 'you'll be allright' etc. She encouraged me to ask golf woman again to play golf. I told her I wasn't planning on doing that. She also said golf woman wouldn't lie about been ill. (Which I suppose is true !) Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 It was golf woman's birthday today. I didn't want to involve myself on her facebook page which was over run with messages. Didn't feel I was good enough or important enough for that. But I sent a text instead. Thought I might as well pretend I've got at least one friend. I wrote 'happy birthday, hope you have a lovely day with your family and friends. And hope you feel better soon' - I didn't mention playing golf because I've given up on that. She replied, said 'thanks' and 'we will play golf real soon' - that seems to be her standard line. She always mentions playing golf with me. I don't know if she does it to try and make me feel happy. She feels sorry for me and spins me the line about playing golf to cheer me up and give the impression she's bothered about me. I never had much confidence 'asking' in the first place. Now I have none. Of course I would like playing golf with her. Firstly, I would get to see her and have a chat. Secondly, playing golf with her last time was lots of fun. And thirdly, I'm getting out and doing something. (Shame nobody else wants to 'play golf with me') I know she is ill because other people have mentioned it on her facebook. So she wasn't lying to me. We've had 4 cancellations now, first it was raining, then she's tired, tired again and then unwell. I don't know how to proceed with this. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.