dramallama Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Have you taken up any new hobby groups, putter? Something you've never tried before? Check out your local newspaper. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Hi, Been working alot just recently, 6 day weeks. Golf takes up alot of my time as well. I will have a look though ! Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 The eight years woman asked me on Thursday. First chance she got as well. She asked me about golf woman. I told her about the text messages and she was happy about it, said it proved it wasn't a 'one way friendship' (her words). I think she is just curious / nosey and thinks it's an unusual thing for a man and a woman to do: play golf. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 The eight years woman has just appeared on facebook. I added her as a friend and she accepted. I wrote a few things on her wall (welcome to facebook etc) - she didn't reply or 'like' any. Even though she 'liked' everybody else's comments. It's just a typical response I get. I offer friendship and don't get much back. That's why the golf woman is so unusual. She wants to spend time with me. She gave me her mobile number as well, only one other woman has done that ever. People say I should get out more. But surely I would come accross more people like the 'eight years woman' - women who may chat with me but want sod all to do with me apart from that. I would have to meet alot of women to find another 'golf woman' - and she see's me only as a friend. What's the chance of meeting a woman who likes me romantically ? Not alot ! Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 mmm maybe I shouldn't jump the gun and presume women don't like me. I got up this morning, logged onto facebook and noticed that the eight years woman had deleted my messages. She liked everybody else's and deleted mine. I deleted her from my friends list, I was a bit puzzled and hurt. I went to work, got home, logged on again and noticed she had replied to my message and not deleted it. Obviously there was a problem with facebook and it wasn't showing all the messages. Luckily she had also requested to friend me again so I added her. I did think something was a miss because my messages weren't at all offensive. I couldn't understand what I had done wrong. Last year I did the same thing with golf woman (deleted her from my friends) and when she found out she was quite upset about it. Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 You haven't done anything wrong. Just let it roll off your back and make an effort to meet new people. Keep it moving. It really is her loss. Ironically, if you pull away, people will wonder what has happened to you (genuiely pulling away a bit, not just giving someone the silent treatment). Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 You mean not contact them for a few weeks ? I usually do that, I hate the thought I am becoming a nuscence to anyone. Dating sites are the obvious answer. My brother met loads of women and his current girlfriend using them. The problem is I'm not photogenic. I think I look okay, when I look in the mirror I look fine. But in photo's I look terrible and no matter what I do, I can't look any better. Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Not dating websites (but you can try that too and even post your link here then we can critique it - use a different username over there though). I was thinking more along the lines of signing up to a hobby group, something you might love but have never tried. So you can socialise with people, inc. women, as friends. Pull back a bit for good. Treat her like an acquaintance. Don't take things so personally or put all your eggs in one basket in the early stages and you won't end up as hurt. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I've learned my lessons about posting photo's of myself on message groups. I once did a little video of myself talking into a camcorder. I asked people if they wanted to see it. Several did, their reaction was awfull. I know they were been honest and not been horrible on purpose. They said I was ugly, I had terrible body language, never smiled, looked and sounded miserable. It hurt my confidence to hear all this. I think that's a reason I won't go near dating sites. You need your photo on there. As for doing something different and new. Not sure, I will have a think. I've always wanted to play music in a group but never got around to it. Do you mean the golf woman ? Things are okay. I know she won't ever be my girlfriend or even a close friend. But she does seem to want to see me every now and again (to play golf) - she has mentioned it so many times and in the last text I got from her. As for other women ? I have been trying but no luck so far. Nobody seems to want to spend time with me. Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 You should really sign up for a music course and hire your own instrument. Just get chatting with people there are put yourself out of your comfort zone and try something new. You won't regret it. I wouldn't make fun of you if you showed me your photo. However, perhaps those people on those message boards were telling the truth - perhaps you could take a photo of yourself smiling with nice scenery in the background. Do things that build up your confidence, like trying new things, and perhaps you will act and feel happier and that in turn will make you look more attractive. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I was always a cute looking kid, so I use one of those photo's on my facebook. They are the only photo's I can stand to look at. I even don't like it when I catch a reflection of myself in a window. But I try to get on with things and keep myself amused and happy. Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Well, if I talked to/about my looks in such a negative way I would probably start to feel bad about myself too. Beauty truly does come from within. Sign up to an adult class. Any class ASAP. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I have mentioned on here what I think about my personality. So I'm not negative about everything. I do like myself and think I'm a great person with alot of qualities ! Just don't like the way I look. Link to comment
bostonbruins44 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Golf woman shouldn't be a high priority putter.It's great that you two are friends but why not ask her if she has any single friends who might be interested in you. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I could never do anything like that, just too embarrassing. The only time anybody mentions me and a woman as a couple is when they are taking the piss out of me. I think that sums it up. Until any other woman wants to be my friend or spend time with me then golf woman will always be a high priority. I did show interest in her mate and suggest meeting outside of work and she shrugged me off with indifference and hasn't mentioned it again. Even a woman adding me onto her facebook friends list is a big deal. They don't always do that ! Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Until any other woman wants to be your friend? The whole point of trying new hobbies is for YOU to get to know THEM. The reason why you have been getting the same results is because you are not doing any thing different or taking any risks. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Asking golf woman's pal to the cinema seemed a risk. Anyway, this is turning into 'sad conclusion part 2' - do you remember that thread ? Went on forever ! I seemed to have hijacked this thread from the other guy. I wonder how he is doing ? Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Yes, I would like to know what he is up to as well. My guess is that he is still pining after this "friend", not wanting to ask her out, but also not wanting to let go either. I hope it's a different case, though. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 To be fair, it is hard to 'let go'. It takes alot of time. I've been there, it's not nice. Over a long period of time the person gradually doesn't mean as much to you until you find yourself not thinking about them as much. I don't think you can suddenly say 'I don't like that person anymore and I won't think about them !' - it doesn't work like that. Regarding myself, I seem to intiate everything, and I mean everything. All texts, messages. If I developed the attitude of waiting for people to get in touch then they wouldn't bother. Very rarely do I get someone send me a message asking me how I am. It's always the other way round, me sending messages to people asking how they are. And then I get replies from people and they are nice and say they care etc. But it would be nice if somebody just surprized me with a text or message out of the blue ! Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 That's why you should always keep things moving and try to socialise as much as you can. So that you can meet new people AND if people are not contacting you to go out, hey, no biggie, because your life is social enough as it is (because you've made it that way). It's always hard to let go of someone that you think is right for you, but the right road is usually always the harder road to take. You can't force yourself to forget about someone at the drop of a hat. But you CAN choose to focus on other things, keep busy, and distance yourself from that person, as well as choose not to look at their facebook page or think about them excessively. It takes time, but it's still a choice not to engage in behaviours that keep your stuck on someone. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Do you think it's possible for me to go from - having few friends to having a large group of friends ? I left school at 18 so I've had 25 years of adult life. If anything I have less friends then ever. I used to play golf with 4 or 5people. Don't see any of them anymore. I only have my Dad to play golf with. Curious, do you live in England ? Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Who me? I live in Australia... I think it's never too late to create the life you've always wanted. You have nothing left to lose. Remember, though, it's quality not quantity that counts, but it never hurts to meet new people. Link to comment
putter65 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 So it's night time in Australia at the moment ? Noon time here. Just waiting to goto work, start at 3 on a Tuesday. Anyway, thanks for all your advice and help. Enjoy the rest of of your day ! Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Yes it's around about bedtime here on Tuesday night. You're welcome. Have a good day too and chin up mate. Link to comment
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