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Life in the Driver's Seat

Seraphim

By Seraphim
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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Who knows what caused it to happen. Maybe because all weekend I had to strongly enforce boundaries with my in-laws and with my neighbours. Neither of which I am used to doing. And I know I'm going to have to enforce more boundaries with my neighbour's children. They are like a constant barrage when we are outside. The minute you go outside to go in your yard for any reason all three kids come racing out and yap at you constantly. Literally every minute for several hours they kept asking for us to give them things or buy them things. When you try to eat outside is exactly the same they're constantly yapping at you about wanting to eat your food with you. They just never never never stop. There's like their parents have never taught them a thing. I know it is not their fault but their parent's fault. They are still going to have to be put in their place kindly but firmly. Our time in our yard is our time in our yard not two hours entertaining them.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Even though the weekend went extremely well I still feel very emotionally battered. Or rather I felt emotionally battered by last night when the panic attack started. That is when I realized I had been on edge the entire weekend. I had been expecting the hammer to fall on me the entire time. There's too much pressure in the family going on with my brother's divorce and my dad. Just too much too much too much. I have acid burning my throat every day. So I've had to buy Zantac. I can't handle any additional pressure at all. And then of course I had to state boundaries or I was going to get railroaded. And then my father-in-law fell down our stairs. He has been told to use his cane but never does. It is all just too much pressure for me.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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I know what it is about my neighbour's children that is intensely aggravating. They're very aggressive ,demanding and pushy. Those are three qualities that I dislike in anybody let alone children. It is almost like being terrorized by children as sad as that sounds. They are just uber über aggressive .

 

I cannot save the world and I'm not responsible for being their entertainment committee. She is just going to have to get her backside out and look after her own children.

 

I am just going to have to firmly put them in their place and tell them that my time in my yard is my alone time. Please respect the fact that I'm having time with my family in my yard.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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I'm trying to think of a way to tell the neighbour's kids kindly but firmly when we are in our yard we are having family time.

Maybe, " I cannot talk or play with you right now we are having family time but another day I would be happy to do so. And if you can respect my time today I would be happy to spend time with you at another time."

 

I think that is kind but firm, yes? And it is not negative.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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I had a talk with my mother about my brother using her as a slave recently. I know he's going through a very difficult divorce and he's incredibly depressed but he is using her as a slave. When his kids come and stay at my mom's he never helps with the dishes ,he never helps make food they all just leaving drop my mom with all this cleaning and cooking and crap to do. He takes his kids home and then he runs off to the gym. She was complaining to me about how exhausted she is and she's too old to look after five kids. I told her ,"then tell your son to clean up after his own children. There's no reason whatsoever why he can't make food or wash dishes. And if he has an excuse for you it's just BS. But if you won't enforce boundaries mom then everybody's just going to walk all over you." And she says, "I know I know I'll talk with him about it. I have just been giving him a break but I'll talk to him." Which means no she won't. Golden boy can do anything he wants. But hey it's her relationship with her son not really my business. If she wants to get worked over that's her problem but I'll just have to tell her ,hey I don't want to hear about it if you're not prepared to do anything."

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Kaytie Collaborator

Kaytie

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Vic, so glad that Easter went okay. I never did make it for chocolate cake, but I was near you for a couple of days this week!

 

I hope you enjoy the visit with your Mom.

 

Oh, and I LOVE Siamese cats too. My first two cats were Siamese. The first was a seal point (my Dad gave her to my Mom as an engagement gift) and she died when I was 8 (she was 15). The second was a blue point who I had from age 10-27! I love them!

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Vic, so glad that Easter went okay. I never did make it for chocolate cake, but I was near you for a couple of days this week!

 

I hope you enjoy the visit with your Mom.

 

Oh, and I LOVE Siamese cats too. My first two cats were Siamese. The first was a seal point (my Dad gave her to my Mom as an engagement gift) and she died when I was 8 (she was 15). The second was a blue point who I had from age 10-27! I love them!

 

Awww you should've stopped by!

 

Yeah Easter wasn't too bad.

 

My mom should be here very soon.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Vic, so glad that Easter went okay. I never did make it for chocolate cake, but I was near you for a couple of days this week!

 

I hope you enjoy the visit with your Mom.

 

Oh, and I LOVE Siamese cats too. My first two cats were Siamese. The first was a seal point (my Dad gave her to my Mom as an engagement gift) and she died when I was 8 (she was 15). The second was a blue point who I had from age 10-27! I love them!

 

I LOVEEEEEEE ' meeses.'

 

 

My mom got me two beautiful tops from Jones of New York. And a pair of pants as well.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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I went head to head with my neighbour

The kids were hitting the dog again so I yelled out my windows that I was calling the military police. The dad came stomping over and wanted to talk to me. My husband and I went the door. He said , " don't talk to my kids like that. And I said, " then teach them to respect the dog. All the do is smack it and hit it. " and he said " ooooh well it's just the kids and the dog playing." I said, " no they ABUSE the dog. Teach them some respect." And he said, " you talk to my kids like that again it will be a bad day for you." That is when my husband got inbetween us and said, " do not talk to my wife that way and leave our property now."

 

Then the douche called the military police and they talked to us we told them they were abusing the dog and he has weapons and he made a personal threat against me. They went into his house to talk to them for about an hour.

 

All that came out of it was that they agreed to stay out if our face.

 

Phew that was stressful .

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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My husband is really kind of struggling a little bit with this weekend's confrontation. He hates confrontation in the first place. And he is really worried that I'm going to go backwards in my own progress. But I think I'm going to be okay. He said he was going to take a few days off work just to be around the house.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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And today I was doing a program over at the school ,unfortunately the school where the douche bag's kids go. The oldest kid sees me and says L , L what you doing at my school? Basically trying to get me to pay attention to her. I pretended like I didn't hear or see her and just kept going.

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