How long did it take you to say 'I love you' or for them to say it?

[SapphireNoir10]

I was thinking about the L word today and how it seems some people use it so easily. When I've been with guys they ususally use it within the first couple of months...but I almost wish they'd wait and be sure they meant it.

 

How long did it take you to say it or your partner to say it in a past or present relationship?

 

What do you guys think?

[Hurting85]

My previous relationship, I drunkenly said it after four days, and wish I hadn't. Things would have probably gone a lot differently.

 

This time around, it took me about a month and a half. I had a while after I thought it to think about it and be sure I wanted to say it.

[SapphireNoir10]

Is that a month and a half of seeing your partner a lot? Did they respond positivley.

 

I'll admit I've NEVER said it first.

[rosephase]

I say "I love you" when I feel like I love someone. I hate playing stupid games around affection. I told my current partner of five years "I love you" on our 2nd date. Love is a feeling not a commitment and personally I think the world would be a much happier place if people told each other when they loved each other. Love is a good thing. I'm not going to hold it back.

[velvette]

^I like the way you think!

[confusedgirly]

I generally wait for the guy to say it first.

 

Normally around the 6 month mark. I've never said it after only one or two months.

[Hanyou]

I say "I love you" when I feel like I love someone.

 

Ditto that, but I say it to myself first making sure it's her I'm thinking/smiling about and not just words that are being uttered.

BTW, I've only said it once, and it was to my ex after our first date (but known her 2 years prior) - don't regret it for a second.

[Hurting85]

Is that a month and a half of seeing your partner a lot? Did they respond positivley.

 

I'll admit I've NEVER said it first.

 

We actually started out as roommates two and a half months earlier, and were sharing a bed before we started dating, not sexually though, just VERY tight living quarters- 5 people in a two bedroom apartment. So yeah, we saw each other A LOT! He actually kind of said it first- "I think I love you". He'd never been in love before, and I had told him when he knew, he would know. I think he may have been testing the waters.

[lilypadgirl]

My first bf said it to me before our first date (we had been friends for 2 years). My next bf said it to me after 6 months. My last two bfs didn't say it and I've never said it (before breakup, did admit it after a breakup). But with my last ex I can feel it in the way he treated, respected, and cared about me. So I don't actually need to hear the words since actions speak louder, but hearing them at some point would be nice.

[TSandullo]

A fortnight for me after we first met. Then a fortnight later, i heard the same from her.

[annalisa84]

We've been dating for 4 months now I guess.. and no love yous yet!

Lots of I'm in love with yous though, but I don't consider them the same at all.

 

I do want to say it so bad, but I bite my tongue every time to stay quiet.

I just wish he woud be the first one - he did kind of say that once but we were fighting and he said he thinks he loves me, but as we were fighting I didn't take it seriously.

 

In my previous relationships, it has been around 3-5 month timeline.

I only meant it once.

[SapphireNoir10]

These stories are really sweet and give me hope for love.

 

I guess Im a little bitter and twisted as when its been said to me I feel its not been meant truly and has been rushed, and that if they'd waited till they were sure it woulda been a lot better.

[DogsAreLove]

Almost a year and neither of us have said it....

[annalisa84]

Love is a feeling not a commitment.

 

I feel so inspired by what Rosephase told that I think I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna say it! I think I have been obsessed with the fact that when you say I love you, you should be so sure taht it wont change. But in the end it is just a feeling, not a commitment nor a promise, and feelings can change. I should just embrace what I feel right now. After all it is happy happy feeling..

[SapphireNoir10]

This is true. I feel inspired by all the views here.

[-Sanguine-]

My ex said it to me after a month or two, but he was drunk and he never said it after that for many months. I said it after 6 months. Now that we are broken up, my ex is sure he loves me and he says he is the kind of person who takes a while to know if they love someone. I think I do too. I couldn't say it after a month or two.

[velvette]

hmm I checked my diary, and we said it to each other a month after our first meeting (we were classmates, so we first met when school started). we weren't dating yet. but then, me being scared, took it back. I started questioning if what I felt was love, researching what I was supposed to feel if I was in love, etc. then another month later, I finally agreed to go out with him, and when I committed to being his girlfriend I suddenly realized I loved him, for sure! it was like I'd given myself permission to love this guy.

[Firiel]

I always told myself I wouldn't say "I love you" quickly and that I'd wait at least five or six months before I said it. But when I met my now husband, we just became best friends instantly. I knew I loved him when I was sitting next to him on the dock, not really doing anything but chatting and I thought to myself, "I could just sit next to him forever." So I said it that night, even though we'd only been dating just under three months.

[velvette]

^yeah, I always thought so too! when he told me he loved me, later I told him he was wrong, he probably just 'thought' he loved me, that love doesn't happen that fast. ha what did I know. but in that month someone else also told me they loved me, and they had a long-distance girlfriend! obviously I told him he was wrong.

 

but now I think we're all allowed our own definitions of love, and it isn't wrong to say it when you feel it, even if that means it's 'only' a week or 'only' a month. doesn't make it any less meaningful imo, as long as YOU mean it!

[Glowguy]

Five or six months seems like a long time to me. Does it really take you that long to realize or do you actually feel it earlier but remain silent? I think I said it between one and two months in to my last ex. She said it shortly after and I think she almost let it slip before then but caught herself. She was clearly waiting for me to say it first.

[superfox]

It's a big deal for me to say it (i never say it first!) and i don't give it away lightly, i tell my friends and family that i love them when i see them or talk to them on a daily basis though - prior to meeting 'him'.

 

he said it within a few weeks, it just came out and felt natural and i responded, it felt right for both of us and what we felt inside. After a few more weeks we were cuddled in bed, he thought i was asleep and i heard him say 'i love you so much ____' then i knew it was the real deal - i never doubted my own feelings.

 

Awww

[cela]

The longest it was for someone to say it to me was a year.

 

Usually it's maybe three to four months, which I admit is probably too soon. Especially because love grows. The first time I say, "I love you" is very different than when I say, "I love you" a year later.

 

I don't remember who says it first. It's probably me, but almost always he says it right back.

[SapphireNoir10]

Cute! I've been dating a guy for like a month and a half he says stuff like 'you know i love you really' and 'you know you love me'...but he hasnt said 'I love you'

 

It doesnt worry me, I'd rather him be sure. I never say it first. I find it hard to say I love you, really hard.

[OptomisticGirl]

It was before our one month anniversary so two months of knowing each other.

[lilypadgirl]

Five or six months seems like a long time to me. Does it really take you that long to realize or do you actually feel it earlier but remain silent? I think I said it between one and two months in to my last ex. She said it shortly after and I think she almost let it slip before then but caught herself. She was clearly waiting for me to say it first.

 

For me it does take that long because I need the relationship to be out of the honeymoon phase to see if what I feel is real or just being in love and all the endorphins. But I think i also tend to date shy guys and being a shy girl myself, I guess we just take longer to be extra sure.