sjjohnson89 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Ok, youve changed the landscape of the situation here. If its just merely a case of 4 against 1 and theres no other issue here, then moving school is the option. Not many people can take on multiple people at once, not even fully trained martial artists. I just hop this last post of yours is the truth, i hope you are not doing just what a mother does and protects their children, by this i mean i hope you are not overprotecting. If there is a problem here that will occcur under different circumsatnces then something must be done while he is young. Anyway, it sounds that this isnt the case, if its just this one situation then getting a body guard etc is fine. I hope this stops soon for your son, i wish you the best. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 ???? The truth? What.....people want to call the school and ask them how many there were? The principal told me what happened, that my son was swarmed by the 4 boys. My son did not tell me. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 ???? The truth? What.....people want to call the school and ask them how many there were? The principal told me what happened, that my son was swarmed by the 4 boys. My son did not tell me. Your son wouldnt tell you, if he cam eback with bruises i bet he said i fell of his bike or something. Pride is why he wouldnt tell you, i think you should work on him talking openly about things to you. I grew up not being able to talk about sex to my parents, its not good to keep all that stuff in but we do it anyway. You want him to feel he can tell you anything. Sorry if i sound like im preaching, i dont mean for it to sound like that, im just trying to help. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 He does talk openly to me. He is a very private person though that is his nature. Plus he wants to handle things on his own. He felt overwhelmed. He did talk to me about it, he just did not describe to me the extent of it. My son and I are very close. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 He does talk openly to me. He is a very private person though that is his nature. Plus he wants to handle things on his own. He felt overwhelmed. He did talk to me about it, he just did not describe to me the extent of it. My son and I are very close. Thats good, its just that the world can feel like a lonely place when youve got nobody to talk to about private things, i know all about that. Im getting mixed signals though, thats whats concerning me a bit here, it could be just though the way weve talked, missing bits of info and then popping up later. I trust though you are doing what you believe best for your son, i wish you the best. I was and am very close with my parents, its just that ive never really opened up to them about concerns, feelings etc, i hope your son isnt making the same mistake as i have. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Maybe it is conflicting because it is hard to give the essence of someone in a few words. I did say in my first post that the latest incident was with 4 other boys though. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Maybe it is conflicting because it is hard to give the essence of someone in a few words. I did say in my first post that the latest incident was with 4 other boys though. By contradicting i was meaning how the situation seemed to change a little in later posts, i only stated the idea of going to a martial arts class because i saw this problem as something that will reoccur. If you are confident this is an isloated incident thats fine. As i said, im just want to help, as it stands it seems moving school would be the best option if it were me. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yeah, ongoing bullying is a definite problem. I was literally emotionally tortured by other girls from the age of 6+. There was some sexual harassment going on too (again, girls only). I suffered through that crap for years. I eventually went to a school that just did NOT have bullying at all. I wish I went sooner because that recurrent bullying has affected my current relationships with women. It's probably why my best friend is male, my "circle of trust" in my life is all men, and I've kept many females at an arm's length because I'm scared. Not a good situation at all. I'd hate for anyone to end up like me in that regard. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yeah, ongoing bullying is a definite problem. I was literally emotionally tortured by other girls from the age of 6+. There was some sexual harassment going on too (again, girls only). I suffered through that crap for years. I eventually went to a school that just did NOT have bullying at all. I wish I went sooner because that recurrent bullying has affected my current relationships with women. It's probably why my best friend is male, my "circle of trust" in my life is all men, and I've kept many females at an arm's length because I'm scared. Not a good situation at all. I'd hate for anyone to end up like me in that regard. I always had a problem making friends with the opposite sex, when i get friendly with a girl they always seem to think im hitting on them or i get the feeling they are hitting on me, orkward. You do well to make friends with guys and not have the whole 'tension' thing happen. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yeah, ongoing bullying is a definite problem. I was literally emotionally tortured by other girls from the age of 6+. There was some sexual harassment going on too (again, girls only). I suffered through that crap for years. I eventually went to a school that just did NOT have bullying at all. I wish I went sooner because that recurrent bullying has affected my current relationships with women. It's probably why my best friend is male, my "circle of trust" in my life is all men, and I've kept many females at an arm's length because I'm scared. Not a good situation at all. I'd hate for anyone to end up like me in that regard. Yeah, I endured constant bullying as a child so it really hurts me to see it happen to my son. He has had some, but not really a lot until he came to this new area. I think some of it has to do with the fact he is new to area and because he is in grade 8 people have already formed friendship groups based on the kids they have known for years. Two, that he is a little different from the other kids as he has High Functioning Autism. So he acts a little different, has different interests, is not at the age level of the kids he is with is some regards. And three, he is pretty small. Kids notice anything different right away and some kids are ok with that and just leave people be, others have no social skills or were never taught any and have to pick on people. It is sad. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Most of my friends are guys. I've never had any problems whatsoever. For the most part, I'm treated just like everyone else (another guy for example). They can swear, burp, fart, tell off-colour jokes in front of me and I don't care. No tension at all. I feel very comfortable with them. on the other hand, I don't have many IRL female friends at all. The bad side is that right now, my best friend of 5-6 years (male, he's 1 year younger than me) has fallen MADLY crazy in love with me a month or so ago. It's not awkward though and we will still hang and talk like friends but now there are certain things we don't talk about like we used to (we used to talk a lot about sex in general) because I can tell he gets aroused when he talks to me about those things. I say give it a few months and he'll move on to someone else but we'll go back to normal. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yeah my sister has autism. Luckily, she has aides and has been around in the area enough so people know her. She's REALLY sweet and people aren't really friends with her but stick up for her if people give her crap. Plus, my parents have it so they will pretty much have an official hanged if they know that bullying happens and no one stops it or punishes the bully. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yeah my sister has autism. Luckily, she has aides and has been around in the area enough so people know her. She's REALLY sweet and people aren't really friends with her but stick up for her if people give her crap. Plus, my parents have it so they will pretty much have an official hanged if they know that bullying happens and no one stops it or punishes the bully. I am happy there are kids that stand up for him. My son has an EA too. In his other school he was there from 3 years old till last year. He had some initial troubles with being bullied, but the principal laid into the entire school and spelled it out to them very effectively that NO bullying would be tolerated. He was a very commanding man and people flinched with one look from him. In this school both the principal and vice principal are female and I think that might be part of the reason they are not being taken seriously by the students themselves that bully and the parents of these children. Not that it is right because they should respect authority from whom ever it comes from, but that is my guess for part of this problem. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 When a guy a guy and a girl talk about sex its hard for it not to become orkward, if i were you dont bring that subject up with your friend again unless you want to hurt him. Sorry, going of subject here. back on topic. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 I'm sorry but I'm disappointed by many kids these days. They just don't seem to respect authority. It seems like you have to pretty much threaten to hurt them or send them away to Juvie hall to get them to do ANYTHING. It's horrible. I'm glad the principal exercised his power and made them listen to him and knock it off. I have no issues with prinicipals being scary and commanding if it means that kids will be scared of them and not bully others and cause irreversable harm. Sad that it has to come to using scare tactics to make kids do the right thing, but hey, what else can you do? Again, I'm sorry you and your son have to go through this. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 I'm sorry but I'm disappointed by many kids these days. They just don't seem to respect authority. It seems like you have to pretty much threaten to hurt them or send them away to Juvie hall to get them to do ANYTHING. It's horrible. I'm glad the principal exercised his power and made them listen to him and knock it off. I have no issues with prinicipals being scary and commanding if it means that kids will be scared of them and not bully others and cause irreversable harm. Sad that it has to come to using scare tactics to make kids do the right thing, but hey, what else can you do? Again, I'm sorry you and your son have to go through this. It makes me so sad when anyone is bullied. Really my heart aches for him. I really long to go kick their butt myself, but I do not agree with hitting children, even if these kids are bigger than me and it really does not solve the problem and would only make me into a bully. These kids have been punished, the one boy in particular has been punished 3 times for picking on my son. It does not seem to be getting through to him. The other 3 boys are just tag alongs with this other kid and up hold his point of view and do things when he does them. If no one is getting the message really it is time to involve the law. I agree, some kids are in a sad and sorry state when they have to be threatened into being a decent human being. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Ugh, that child sounds terrible. Has the school called the parents of this snotty runt? If the parents do not force discipline at home, then it's unlikely that the school can really do much to stop the bullying. (Sorry I really hate it when people do, it shows through, haha) Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 I am sure they have, because I think they are required to phone the parents when they impose discipline. I am getting the feeling though that the parents do not care, which is really sad. I met my son's EA by accident in the grocery store and she told me this other boy is REALLY inappropriate and aggressive and really has it out for my son for whatever reason. She told this kid she hopes and knows he will get his butt kicked in his first 6 weeks in HS. The principal herself told me she had this kid and my son talk together in the office in front of her and my son asked this other kid to just let things go and why not just be friends and this kid refuses. There is something REALLY demented about someone who has to keep on when you have been punished more than once for the same offense. That kid is headed for jail. Really. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yeah, I'm sorry, that's messed up. This kid will not turn out well in the end. What a bad egg. I hope he gets beaten down in high school so he doesn't bully anyone else and can walk around with his tail tucked between his legs. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Really makes one wonder how some people parent. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 For the past few days my son told me no one has picked on him. Yay! Let's hope this trend continues. Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 For the past few days my son told me no one has picked on him. Yay! Let's hope this trend continues. That sounds good Victoria66, lets hope it stays that way. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 Seems to be good! He came home smiling! Link to comment
sjjohnson89 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Seems to be good! He came home smiling! Thats great Victoria66, im happy its looking bright for you two. Link to comment
generaldiscord Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Alright, I didn't read the whole thread. It boggles my mind that people think that their children don't deserve to be protected from bullying. Do you know how boys who are protected from bullies turn out? Men who know better than to fight. Sure, if you want your child to be a wrestler... but if you want him to have any sort of interest or any kind of life quality or any kind of happiness, you can't keep sending your child to a place where you know he will be physically harmed. What does that make you? Can a child trust a parent who can't and won't protect him? Can a child learn in school while terrified of the playground and trip home? Can a child mature while being constantly humiliated by his peers? School is for learning, maturing, and becoming an adult. Don't mistake it as a place for essential social conditioning. ALWAYS intervene. Link to comment
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