CMS Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I have been on NC for 2 days now after breakup 1 week ago. Ex broke up with me because she said she is no longer in love with me but wanted to remain friends. I was heartbroken but also spent a great deal reevaluate our relationship and I guess I see the OP's point, I mean I think I got so comfortable with her that I stopped trying to improve myself. I am working on to better myself now and am going to carry out the NC till I am healed. Thanks for the inspirition Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I'd like to share a simple story with whoever is reading these posts. This story does not personally involve me but it involves my friend, let's call him F. Now F had a girlfriend for about 2 and a half years. From my point of view, they were perfect for eachother. They had all the right traits, never wronged eachother, kept things fresh, had their separate groups of friends and never really had any problems. They both even planned on moving into together post-grad (college). F, though, was a very independent, self-happy and life fulfilling guy. He really had his priorities straight and knew where he was going in life. He basically knew about the "game" of relationships as well, considering he'd been through a couple long-term ones in his earlier years. His girlfriend was the same way, very independent, knew what she wanted etc. Well, one day, she decides she can't do it anymore. With the only reason being she had to move for a school-term about 2 hours away from their college. She broke things off wit F and never looked back. What did F do? He was completely DEVASTATED. He'd never thought it'd hit him this hard. Could he go on? Yep. You see...although he'd been hurt so bad over this women, he'd never dare contact her. He knew that in order to heal and move on he'd need to forget about her and meet other women. Well, that's just what he did. The day they broke up she offered to be friends; he refused. A month goes by... 2 months... 5 months... 7 months... Still no contact on both ends. 9 months... Ring, ring. Guess who calls F up 9 months post-BU? Yep, she's back and she's begging. By this time F has literally gotten on with his life. He didn't wait, didn't beg, didn't plead and did his own thing. He'd become a better person for it and held his self-respect tightly. Was he expecting her to come back? Was he waiting for that call? Absolutely not. He was moving on with his life. He has learned the hard way that no matter what you do, you can't change their mind, so he let her go all those months ago. Basically she called, told him she's made the biggest mistake of her life and that she needed him in order to function. He refused. He's moved on with his life and suggested she do the same. Moral of the story? Learn to be happy and independent with your life with or without a relationship. You'll go a long way. Just my two cents. Link to comment
pisceslover Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Faithful: You stated that you were NC for a "loong time" before going LC. Are you now in LC with your ex? How many months were you NC? How long were you broken up before you wen NC? You joined in 2009, so have you been BU for 2 yrs, or is this a different ex? Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I'll pm you pisces PM me too, then, lol. I'm curious Link to comment
imonlyhuman Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 you're LC now, who made first contact? Link to comment
Guitarguy_82 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Bumping this. Days like today where I miss my ex like crazy...its good to read these reminders of why NC is so crucially important. I'm still healing and working on myself...but I'd like to at least leave the door open to future contact or LC once I reach a place of stability and/or indifference. Link to comment
flatplane Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 A bloody insightful read, thank you. Link to comment
shootingstarz Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I am still not sure about all this NC/LC. I def. agree with cooling time after the break up. And, if one is needed to talk to their EX for what ever reason after some time. They can try getting in touch with them. Same time, what is to really talk about after some time? The moment relationship is broken things were said and done. I have said this myself and have read it some where that "you know your ex more than anyone" so you approach based on the knowledge when contacting. But, do we really know our exs? we only know them on/under good terms but do we really know how they are when things aren't? how they are like once things are over? and they are the ones to called it off. We only know how they are as a bf/gf but not as an EX. Every EX's are different in my experience. One ex (he was the dumper) I had, after the break up. I have not contacted for a whole month and I have started LC afterwards and 4 months later, he came back wanting to reconcile. But, I have already moved on. Second EX (I was the dumper) after 2 years of complete NC from both. We are talking again and things are actually going pretty great. I have learned so much from him what "true love" is. During my 2 years of absent. He have forgiven me and tells me he never stopped loving me even there was no promise or any future that he would ever see me again (we live in different states). Now, this current EX. This one, I am at a complete lost. I have had the urge wanting to reconcile soon after the break up but as more days go by. I am not even sure why and even if it is worth to try. Or, I am afraid to try and give up now so I don't have to face the same outcome months down the road. Either way, thought of reconcile is becoming less and less. From my experiences, one common thing is, I went on with my life. Either as a dumper or dumpee. I dealt with what ever I have to deal with on my end and on my own. I went about my life. And the rest, let the life take it's course. It's easier to say than done. but one thing for sure is that, no matter how painful it may be. You just have to live your life. If you have to force yourself to do it. JUST DO IT. Link to comment
shootingstarz Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 additional note: I totally side track. with one of my ex where we had 2 years of complete NC. I wanted to hear from him. I have always wondered about his well being. But at the time, I was the dumper and so in my mind going on NC would help him to move on since there wasn't anything else I can do for him other than causing more pain if I were to be in touch. Recently, when we talked. I asked him why he have never contacted me for that 2 years. He tells me numerous times he wanted to call and just to talk but he understood why I had to end the relationship and that he wanted to respect my wish. So, NC or no NC. LC or no LC. There is no right answer other than you just live your life and see what happens or don't happen. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.