Jump to content

why does it take him so long to cum?


Sweetkisses22

Recommended Posts

This guy im seeing lives about an hour from me so we don't have much time together as wed like. We just recently started having sex and I noticed that it takes him a long time to cum, like an hour. Not that I don't enjoy the hour its great but its just got me thinking. I heard that when men haven't had sex in a long time they usually cum a lot quicker. But we haven't had sex before and he hasn't had sex in like 6 months. Why does he last so long?? Like at first wouldn't he cum right away since its been so long?

 

Maybe im being paranoid but I just keep thinking that maybe he has been sleeping with other women?? I asked him why it takes him a long time to cum if he hasn't had sex in so long and he said because he still jerks off but still I know its not the same feeling. Real sex us more intense.

 

 

What do you think? Am I over reacting?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I recently had this situation.

Only the guy doesn't cum.

I thought it was weird so I just flat out asked "Do you not cum or what?"

I've never experienced this so I was super curious and all he said (rather calmly) was: "Meh. I just don't always cum."

At first I was offended and whatever, but not I don't care, ha ha.

If he doesn't come or takes too long that's not my problem,

I enjoy myself and do my best for him.

If he's not satisfied iwth my efforts it'll end.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I recently had this situation.

Only the guy doesn't cum.

I thought it was weird so I just flat out asked "Do you not cum or what?"

I've never experienced this so I was super curious and all he said (rather calmly) was: "Meh. I just don't always cum."

At first I was offended and whatever, but not I don't care, ha ha.

If he doesn't come or takes too long that's not my problem, enjoy myself and do my best for him.

If he's not satisfied iwth my efforts it'll end.

 

Holy Double-Standard, Batman!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i always thought it was a problem if the guy came to fast, that would upset me...two thrusts and he's done.

i am glad that my boyfriend can last long, we make love for a few hours! and i love it, he's the only one i have been with so i don't know what "normal"

but we can try lots of positions during one session and i get to come multiple times,so to me that is a great thing, then usually when we are done i finish him off by hand, which he loves and so do i, and after he comes he loves it when i keep stroking him, allthough with a lighter touch obviously....

would this mean that he is used to masturbating and therefore can't come inside me? maybe, but maybe he just loves it this way and so do i, it's intimate

i think when we start comparing notes, people get insecure about how it should be but who decides what is normal and what not? as long as you both enjoy yourself and the time together, who cares what is supposed to or not supposed to be...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He's not on antidepressents or any meds. He did tell me before we had sex that sometimes he can't get it up in the beginning but when we started having sex he never once had that problem and he said I was the only girl he was able to do it with. Maybe its performance anxiety like someone said. Its great don't get me wrong but i was just worried lol.

 

Also is it weird that he never wants me to see his penis when its soft?? Whenever I try to touch it to get it hard he pulls my hand away. And he never let's me go down on him unless its hard first. He always makes excuses for me not to. Instead he'll get on top of me and pleasure me until he gets hard.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have encountered the same issue a few times in my life, mostly in the past in my first 2 relationships. I felt so worthless and unattractive as a woman. It is something I cannot work around sadly because it hurt me so much, 3 years of such difficulties. And I can't do it for hours, I haven't got that time..maybe if I lived with my bf and had no stresses in life.

It is usually related to low self esteem from the guy and the usual paranoia of if it happens once it wil happen again sort of thing. Maybe you can reassure him that you don't mind touching him when he's soft..?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Holy Double-Standard, Batman!

 

Lol.

Not at all,

I try to please him and if he's not coming I'm not going to lock myself in my closet and cry about

it.

It's the first time I've been with a guy and he hasn't cum so I'm not taking it personally.

If it happened all the time that would be a different story, ha ha.

We haven't been having sex long so hopefully he gets a happy ending soon.

If not, we're not sexually compatible and...oh well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Could be medication he is taking, and or "death grip".

 

Death Grip aka, masturbating with a tight clenched fist.

 

This does not mean you are loose by any means.

Just means when he masturbates he may squeeze his Penis so tight, the end of his Penis goes purple.

 

Another reason is, he may have the thought ingrained into his head that women prefer a man who goes at it for a long time.

 

As mentioned in a previous post, some men know how to hold back from having an orgasm.

So mentioning that you like quickies may stop him from these long sessions or reduce them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It could be a mental thing since you both live an hour from each other and the fact that you don't spend as much time as you'd like to.

 

I don't understand why is it necissory for someone to cum every single time you have sex. It makes a mess, it can get your partner preggo. Id just try to hold it in and say on a scale of 1-10 that I'm a bout to cum i'm at a 9 id stop and rest or be done with it. No need to cum. A guy should be honest and upfront about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are some medications other than AD's that will inhibit performance, like Flo-max and some blood pressure meds. Also, soy products can cause ED troubles.

 

I'm a bit older - in my 50's - and I sometimes don't cum. I know its more fulfilling for my gf if I do, so I try - sometimes too hard. I get winded and begin to lose it. Quite disappointing and frustrating! I assure my gf that it's no reflection on her and I make sure she is completely satisfied in every other way. We both share a good attitude about it and just say let's try again in the morning, or in a few hours or whatever. It just means our sex is spread out over a period of time, which can be fun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are some medications other than AD's that will inhibit performance, like Flo-max and some blood pressure meds. Also, soy products can cause ED troubles.

 

I'm a bit older - in my 50's - and I sometimes don't cum. I know its more fulfilling for my gf if I do, so I try - sometimes too hard. I get winded and begin to lose it. Quite disappointing and frustrating! I assure my gf that it's no reflection on her and I make sure she is completely satisfied in every other way. We both share a good attitude about it and just say let's try again in the morning, or in a few hours or whatever. It just means our sex is spread out over a period of time, which can be fun.

 

I'm the same....sometimes 1/2 hour, sometimes an hour, other times, not. But she has accepted it's me, part of who I am, and is OK with it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

It is probably a combination of him being used to masturbation along with some performance issues. The distance issue does not help things. I am sure he is thinking to himself: oh wow, she drive an hour to get her and now I am not getting hard. God, I wonder if I will be able to cum fast enough for her. All this is setting the stage for an awkward time in bed.

 

Relax and just enjoy the sensations of being together. The rest will fall into place with time and trust.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My boyfriend is a very healthy normal young guy who takes quite a while to orgasm. He doesn't smoke, he's in shape, I don't think he has any preformance anxiety/issues. He seems pretty fine about it and so am I (although sex usually gets sore near the end and I have to ask him to focus on finishing).

 

I think some guys just take longer than others. I think part of it is that he's so controlled all of the time. He never just loses it during sex. I would love it if he went premature once in a while when things got hot and heavy. It would be the biggest compliment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i love that my boyfriend can last for a few hours...we can really relax that way and i get to come a few times...we use different positions and do other things in between so i don't get sore either, i just love spending all this time close to him! maybe would be differen if we weren''t in a LDR and did it a few times a week, maybe then i would tell him to hurry...but now i just love it..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...