turnera Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Where are YOUR parents? Are they out of the picture? How old are you? Link to comment
NANsense Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Might I offer a different perspective? In every situation, family, school, work, recreation, etc.--there will be rude people you're going to have to contend with...in a perfect world they'd be polite and "not say anything, if they have nothing nice to say" BUT unfortunately they do have a lot to say and will take their misery and project it onto the world whenever possible! You can't avoid these folk & you need to learn to deal with them yourself--as opposed to asking anyone else to do it for you...your sister has tried & failed....maybe it's about time you take matters into your own hands? Try saying something directly, you don't have to stoop to his level and be insulting--but draw the line in the sand and if he crosses it--leave! Tell him you aren't comfortable with PDA from him when he attempts to kiss you--there's no law stating you have to be and if you aren't you're entitled to say so & he has to respect that. When he's insulting--tell him you find his comment distasteful and you think it's a shame when ppl have to put down another to make themselves feel better abt them-self. Link to comment
dramallama Posted April 2, 2011 Author Share Posted April 2, 2011 NANsense - I told him not to say those things to me and he laughed in my face. He doesn't respect me so anything I say he will not only put me down further, but try to turn it around on me. My sister is the one that chose to marry into that family, not me, so I see no need to attend events where they are. Besides, they sap all of the fun from being there because when they are not talking about themselves, they are putting one of my family members down. turnera - I'm in my mid twenties. My dad is kind of oblivious to what goes on, but I might tell him. I know/hope that he wouldn't like it, but I don't see him all that much TBH. My mum has an avoidant behaviour and NEVER taught us that it is ok to stand up for yourself, even if it ruffles feathers and rocks the boat etc, so she is not really that supportive when it comes to be deciding that I don't want to spend time with them. She will not stand up for me even though it's the right thing to do. And it's not like I want my mummy to come in and save me from a bully (because that's what he is basically) but I want *support* from her and my family. Because I would do the same for them. Link to comment
turnera Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Well, it's around this age when you learn how to be a full-fledged adult, so you might as well... Link to comment
dramallama Posted April 6, 2011 Author Share Posted April 6, 2011 Might as well what? Talk to him about it? Tell him to respect me? He doesn't respect me so he will just laugh in my face again if I talk to him about it and turn it around on me, saying that I'm too sensitive. Anyway, I know I've done nothing wrong in this case, and the problem is with my sister's parents in law who are just selfish people. I know what the best course of action is. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 Might as well what? Talk to him about it? Tell him to respect me? He doesn't respect me so he will just laugh in my face again if I talk to him about it and turn it around on me, saying that I'm too sensitive. Anyway, I know I've done nothing wrong in this case, and the problem is with my sister's parents in law who are just selfish people. I know what the best course of action is. You don't need to police this man's behavior. Go to the events, say your hellos from accross the room or patio, stay away from him and turn sweetly deaf to anything he says. There will always be an idiot in every crowd. So what? The degree to which you engage them (or even notice them) is entirely up to you. I pull off a combo plate of stupidity, cheerfulness and remarkable amnesia. It's Teflon, and it works every time. Head high, and enjoy your family. Link to comment
turnera Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Might as well act like the adult you are, and do things that are befitting of an adult. Link to comment
dramallama Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 Ha ha, whatever turnera. You seem to just want to judge me without giving actual advice (you should try it some time) so I'm closing this thread now. Thanks to everyone else who actually contributed. I've figured out how I'm going to handle this. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Mod Post: Thread closed at OP's request Link to comment
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