No birthday wishes from my ex...I knew it, but it still makes me SAD :-(

[Destiny2112]

So, yesterday I had my birthday, the first birthday without my ex, which felt strange...I had to think of him a lot, but it was a great day nevertheless, I had lots of fun with my friends and family and tried my best to avoid thinking of him...

...of course my ex hasn't sent me a happy birthday text or mail...

 

I know, people here will tell me now, he is your ex, by dumping you for somone else, by just walking away, your ex made it pretty clear to you, that he doesn't want you in his life anymore, that he has moved on and so should you... I know all that and I expected already not to hear from him. He hasn't even tried to contact me once since the break up, so why should he do it now, my birthday is like any other day for him, he probably didn't even think of me on that day, probably he already forgot that it was my birthday... but still, deep down inside I was hoping to receive a message, nothing special, just a simple "Happy birthday"

 

It just makes me sad to see, that I don't mean anything at all to him anymore...but on the other hand, it is "good" to see, how sure he is about the break up, for him, it was the right choice, he made his position very clear, once again: IT IS OVER ONCE FOR ALL!!! He doesn't want to send any mixed signals and doesn't want to give me any hope for reconciliation...

 

Why is it so hard for me to get him out of my head??? It is so unfair, that he dumped me, found someone else and is HAPPY, while I'm still struggeling, trying to pick up the 1.000000 pieces of my broken heart.... ahhhhh

[ForumGuy]

He doesn't want to send any mixed signals and doesn't want to give me any hope for reconciliation......found someone else and is HAPPY(

He may have known it was your birthday, and even been thinking about you, but like you say, doesn't want to send mixed signals for your sake. Also, you don't know that he is happy.....He could be miserable.

[CatsMeeoow]

He may have known it was your birthday, and even been thinking about you, but like you say, doesn't want to send mixed signals for your sake. Also, you don't know that he is happy.....He could be miserable.

 

This could be very true - my ex didn't contact me though he wanted to but he knew I was having a hard enough time. This type of thing is painful either way - its a no win situation. Many people get contact only to get their hopes up or to be set back. All I have to say is that you never know what the future holds. I'm now very good friends with my ex and we chat all the time BUT I have moved on.

 

Try not to let it distract you too much - time to start thinking about making new traditions and activities you don't associate with your ex.

 

Hugs!

[ButIAmAlone]

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. I think you might need to reprogram your thoughts about him. Instead of thinking about how happy you thought you were with him, try thinking about how nonchalantly he discarded you, and it won't matter if he remembers your birthday or not. BTW, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Peace, Love & Happiness

[lavenderdove]

Try to remind yourself that the sooner you put him in the past, the sooner you will find someone else who WILL want to celebrate your birthday with you... as long as you are hanging onto the idea of him as a partner or someone who would be there for you on birthdays or any other day, you'll be focusing on that rather than healing and getting yourself in shape emotionally to bond with someone new.

 

And I know it doesn't feel fair to you that he's found someone new, but sadly it is one of life's realities and just like he can find happiness with someone else, so can you if you work really hard to put him behind you and make yourself open to new people.

 

So google 'thought stopping' and start practicing it today! If you stop obsessing about him and get him out of the center of your thoughts, your emotions will follow and you heal more quickly.

[Destiny2112]

This could be very true - my ex didn't contact me though he wanted to but he knew I was having a hard enough time. This type of thing is painful either way - its a no win situation. Many people get contact only to get their hopes up or to be set back. All I have to say is that you never know what the future holds. I'm now very good friends with my ex and we chat all the time BUT I have moved on.

 

Try not to let it distract you too much - time to start thinking about making new traditions and activities you don't associate with your ex.

 

Hugs!

 

Thanks for your post! Yeah, you are right, I don't know if he is fine... indeed, it is a no win situation...I guess, even if he had written something, probably, I would still say...mmmh, why did he write this and not that...so either way it would have been painful for me....so, not hearing anything at least doesn't set me back and my ex is sending a very clear signal that can't be misunderstood...

 

I guess, I'll be better, as soon as the holidays are over...and today I'm already a little better than yesterday...with each day that passes, I'll get better

 

And you are right, I have no idea what the future holds After how long apart were you able to be friends with your ex? Who initiated contact??

 

Hugs xxx

[Destiny2112]

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. I think you might need to reprogram your thoughts about him. Instead of thinking about how happy you thought you were with him, try thinking about how nonchalantly he discarded you, and it won't matter if he remembers your birthday or not. BTW, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Peace, Love & Happiness

 

Thank you!!! I'm already trying to change my way of thinking about him, but it is still hard...whenever happy memories pop up. I tell myself, wait, it might have been like that in the past, but NOW, right NOW, he doesn't give a d*** about how I feel, and how heartless he treated me in the end...someone who loves me, and who deserves my love wouldn't have done that!! And these thoughts help me to feel better about the situation...but in weak moments, I can't fight the "good" memories of our good times together...but at least I'm gaining back more control over my thoughts slowly slowly... xxxx

[Destiny2112]

Thanks for your wise words again I looked up thought stopping on google and I really start practising it today! I promised myself, now, that I'm one year older and also when the New Year begins, I'm definetely starting a new chapter in my life and I try hard, I try my very best to leave my ex in the past, I don't want him to still have so much power over my thoughts, he doesn't deserve that! And as you say, if he can find happiness with someone else, so can I. And my next boyfriend will WANT to spend time with me and will be there for me on special days like my birthday!!

 

I really start working on getting my ex out of the center of my thoughts...anyway, although I'm not fine yet, I see, how much better I am already, compared to 2 months ago...I think, I need time, but I'm on the right way...

 

THANKS!!