need a second opinion

[LostOne01]

Glad you're taking back control like I am. Cheaters aren't worth the time. Let her go screw him because when you guys are divorced, she's gonna come running back to ya!lol I found a site

 

link removed

[abouttime]

Good to hear you are dumping the cheating skank. You are still young and will be up and running with the ladies soon. Just remember that you were her security blanket. So she will most definitely want to do the "friends" thing with you . If she brings it up, tell her to you don't have skanks for friends. I hope you get the lions share. And be sure to file as asap. She will probably try to get you to fund her single life. tell her to pound sand. Stay strong.

[coastalgirl]

I have been divorced for 14 years. My husband at the time had an affair. He would not leave me. I did not know about the affair at the time as he travelled quite a bit with work.

I did suspect it though. He had many affairs during our marriage. When I found out, I left with three children on my own. It was not easy. But, looking back it was the best decision I ever made.

 

Here is what is going on in my opinion. Both of them are having a teenage romantic fling. They don't want to get divorced because it is expensive. The fact that you and the Doc's wife have

gone along with it is the problem. You don't want to believe it, it hurts. But, they are doing this right under your nose. You have made it possible for them to live a double life. You express your hurt, your pain, you have even cried. But, you have not left or given your wife an ultimatum. That is what she needs. If you continue to put up with it, she will continue to have the affair. You are making it easy for her to have her cake and eat it. The Doc is doing the same.

 

I understand how hard it is to come to terms with the fact that you might have to end life as you know it. Fear of the unknown, telling the kids. You do not have a marriage. You are co-existing with a cheating spouse who is selfish and treating you with total disrespect. Basically, I'm sorry but you are a door mat. And so is the Doc's wife.

 

Fear of the unknown keeps people in marriages. You are hoping she will get tired of this guy and come to her senses so things will go back to normal. They won't. They will NEVER bet the same. It's already too late, the damage has been done.

 

Get some self respect and leave. Let her doctor suffer the consequences of lost income as he will have to give his wife tons of his money. Your wife and the Doc are happy now as they have the best of both worlds, permission to cheat and two incomes each. When you leave and he has to pay up they won't be acting like teenagers anymore. They will be all stressed out financially. especially the Doc. His lover boy image may not be as wonderful with the threat of financial ruin to deal with.

 

It's sad, life is not always fair. But, you need to build a new life for yourself. It's time to cut your loses. Sounds hard but 50% of the population has to deal with divorce. You won't be alone. Your wife is only thinking of herself. She needs a wake up call. You need to get some self respect and move on!

[coastalgirl]

Sorry my comment was kind of late as I read she has confessed. But you already knew this, you just didn't want to admit it. You will have no problem meeting single women in your age group.

Just keep your wife (soon to be ex) at arms length. Trust needs to be rebuilt over years. I am friends or should I say friendly with my ex now but it took a long time to get to this point. He would have continued to take advantage if I didn't set up some personal boundaries.

 

Good luck to you. Lot's of advice out there as so many of us have been through this and we survived. You will too!

[misssmithviii]

I send my best wishes, and I'm glad you're handling this appropriately.

 

She's nasty. I would suggest putting those little paper film thingies on the toilet until she's gone.

Pardon me but she's just repulsive on so many levels, there are many millions more wonderful, sexy and moral women in the world.

[needsomelove]

thanks... I needed that.. You sound like a wise and kind person! New Update: tidbits of this cr*p keeps coming out. Those two: full blown hot/horny type sex , in his office 2x per week for over a year. She comes home & looks me in the eye and doesn't flinch .............OMG

[Raoul]

thanks... I needed that.. You sound like a wise and kind person! New Update: tidbits of this cr*p keeps coming out. Those two: full blown hot/horny type sex , in his office 2x per week for over a year. She comes home & looks me in the eye and doesn't flinch .............OMG

 

Needsomelove,

 

They went on the high wire with no net. You need not be there to catch the fall or even there to see it.

 

Take care of yourself,

Raoul

[Moontiger]

More details keep coming out = more you see who she truly is = more reasons to run for the hills at light speed.

[LostOne01]

More details keep coming out = more you see who she truly is = more reasons to run for the hills at light speed.

 

Damn right.

[Moontiger]

I'm curious, Have you found a lawyer yet? Any progress on getting her to move out?

[ForumGuy]

More details keep coming out = more you see who she truly is = more reasons to run for the hills at light speed.

Or send her to the hills....exiled to Siberia comes to mind

[DN]

She's made her choice and it isn't you. Chances are she will leave as soon as he gets his divorce.