SmilingKatty Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 I will have to meet my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend in two months. And already now I am afraid of the future pain. I don´t want to see, that she is better for him than I was... I don´t want to see them being happy together. I know it is horrible, but I don´t want him to be happy with someone else... How can I overcome these feelings? Does anyone had the similar experience? Link to comment
lerira Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Uh, don't meet them. Bring a date. Yeah, I know the feeling. Link to comment
SmilingKatty Posted November 28, 2010 Author Share Posted November 28, 2010 Thank you. The problem is, that it has been already quite a long time since the break up (8 months) and I just cannot avoid them forever... We have the same circle of friends and I don´t want to become antisocial person just because I will be hurting seeing them... A date? that is a good idea, but I would feel like I am using any guy who would go with me... Link to comment
faithful14 Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 where are you guys going that you have to meet? I would say bring a date along that way you have someone to talk to and hang out with. Link to comment
Yaz Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Don't go. Just don't go, or ask your ex not to bring her. Hard, because I know if I asked my ex to meet up he'd bring his new woman without saying anything. I'd have to ask him specifically to come alone. I think I know him too well I just wouldn't do it. Too much pain to bear. Thinking of you Link to comment
SmilingKatty Posted November 28, 2010 Author Share Posted November 28, 2010 It is a big annual meeting of friends... I am not worried because of not having anyone to talk to - there will be many friends I want to see and I am sure they want to see me too. It is going to be a great event... I don´t want to miss it and if I don´t go I will feel like coward... I just hate, that I am worried about it now, two months before it has actually happened... Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 This is what I would do. If I were ever to bump into my ex at a friends' social event party. [] The Day of the Event [] 1.) Play music that makes you feel happy and good about yourself. 2.) Take a long bath. 3.) Get ready. Make up and Hair etc etc 4.) Get a comfortable outfit that makes me feel beautiful inside and out. 5.) Put shoes/high heels. 6.) Dance in front of the mirror. 7. ) Your signature perfume. And get ready to have fun at the event. I know you will have that weird feeling of bumping into your ex and his new special someone. Just keep telling yourself that he is no longer yours and move on. Keep repeating and strike up conversations with other people. I would tell myself to get my act together and stop worrying about him and feeling bad about myself. Good luck. Link to comment
faithful14 Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 ooo ok. Here's what I would I do if I was in your shoes and in I knew i would see my ex in 2 months: - Hit the gym: tighten and tone myself up (not saying that you need to though) -Get a makeover -Get myself looking all hot and sexy for the get together -Then I would go and have a good time with all my friends and not even worry about them. I would give my ex the impression that I really don't care whether he's there or not. Don't worry too much about this. Go and have a great time. And most importantly, be confident!!! He will definitely see what he's missing out on. Link to comment
SmilingKatty Posted November 28, 2010 Author Share Posted November 28, 2010 I will try, thank you! (I know, that me looking sexy will not get him back, but hopefully it irritates him a little bit... - not very nice of me, but I cannot help myself in this Link to comment
TSandullo Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Woah! Nice post op! And coincidence too! Two months from this day i will be attending a reunion...of only 14 confirmed guests...in one room...around a big table...with me ex and her man. Attend the event. And go there for yourself. If u find yourself distracted by them, throw yourself into convo with others. If you speak to them...be nice. Whoa! The countdown for the two of us begins...! TS Link to comment
SmilingKatty Posted November 28, 2010 Author Share Posted November 28, 2010 wow! That is a coincidence! Just before the "big events" we have to try to cheer each other up! I know - I will have to act as if I couldn´t be happier when being there... (I have actually managed to be like that, when seeing the ex in similar circumstances in the past, but he was still single then... - when I remember that time, I think he was very surprised, how great I looked (the whole event actually increased my self-confidence a lot so I have to keep it up in the future too! I would like to convince myself, that I am way better then the new girl (even thought it may not true) to feel more confident and cheerful during the whole thing... And to finally stop hoping for reconcilliation!!! (it´s so stupid and I hate it...) Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Wouldn't it be something if you spend all of this time worried about him only to learn that he and she have broken up a week before the event? Anything can happen in two months. You won't be the same person then as you are today, and if you can avoid churning this into a brain groove, you might discover that you really don't care so much by then. I'd start talking myself in that direction. I'd also flirt with the idea of bringing a knockout date. Link to comment
SmilingKatty Posted November 29, 2010 Author Share Posted November 29, 2010 Thank you. I know I have to stop worrying about it so much - it is useless and hurting me... I have to start looking into some thought stopping to get my mind to behave and be more disciplined... I'd also flirt with the idea of bringing a knockout date. That´s one possibility - or I can just flirt with guys and enjoy the free feeling... Haven´t decided yet what of these two it is going to be... Link to comment
Minx2012 Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 If I was in your shoes : Don't even bother to go. Yes, you have mutual friends and yes, this is an annual friends' get together. But seriously, if you are STILL NOT OVER him after 8 months, it's best to just make up an excuse and not go. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 try and make yourself better then you were ever before.. take the next two months and bust your ass in the gym and eat right and look the best you ever have, the confidence alone of getting in great shape will make you want to see him so he can see how good u look now.. good luck Link to comment
SmilingKatty Posted November 29, 2010 Author Share Posted November 29, 2010 Thank you I am planning to do something like that (and buy a lot of new and sexy clothes...) But - if he is in love with her, will he notice how do I look at all...? The main reason I am so anxious about the whole thing is the girl - I think, that they are better together than we were and it will be difficult to really see how they behave towards each other... And another thing - maybe I will not be hurt because of still loving him, maybe it is just my ego being hurt by the fact, that he found someone who suits him better than me...? Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Thank you I am planning to do something like that (and buy a lot of new and sexy clothes...) But - if he is in love with her, will he notice how do I look at all...? The main reason I am so anxious about the whole thing is the girl - I think, that they are better together than we were and it will be difficult to really see how they behave towards each other... And another thing - maybe I will not be hurt because of still loving him, maybe it is just my ego being hurt by the fact, that he found someone who suits him better than me...? he will definelty notice how you look.. i promise you that..this is coming from a guys perspective. Honestly, I would try and not focus too much about the other girl and if they are better suited.. that situation is out of your control. what IS in your control is yourself and improving yourself.. make yourself the best YOU, you can be! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Maybe it's just me, but I would bail on the event. Not worth the mental worry. Link to comment
SmilingKatty Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 he will definelty notice how you look.. i promise you that..this is coming from a guys perspective. Honestly, I would try and not focus too much about the other girl and if they are better suited.. that situation is out of your control. what IS in your control is yourself and improving yourself.. make yourself the best YOU, you can be! Thank you! I will try (I have really started to work out a little and everyone who knows how lazy I am is so much suprised, that it is funny... I have decided to try to look forward to the event, because afterwards it will finally be OVER! (I mean like worrying, hopes and just everything - and maybe I will finally realize, that he is just not the right guy for me... Maybe it's just me, but I would bail on the event. Not worth the mental worry. It isn´t - the problem is, that we are in almost the same circle of friends and I would meet them sooner or later (and maybe even unexpectedly...) This way I will at least know when and how and will not be surprised... I will have to give up a lot of smaller social events anyway (where there would be no way of inconspiciously disappearing or avoiding them) and I am just not going to let them spoil the rest of my social life. (I am travelling now, so it will be the first meeting after half a year of me being away...) Link to comment
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