have either done something very brave or very stupid

[ned2010]

i text my ex today "can i ask you a question?" she said yeah, so i said "do you have a bf? i mean honestly?" she said "yes i do" so i asked what his name was, she asked me why i wanted to know, i said i just wondering, and she gave me a name, and there is either a chance they really are together or my ex has just told me she is with him as i wouldnt put it past her to just say that

 

now the brave or crazy part, i said "im happy for you" and asked if she was happy with her life now. she said yes she was, and i told her i may be meeting a girl over new years who is traveling down, she said "i dont really care have fun yeah" and did something i thought was pretty innocent, i asked her if she had heard these lyrics before and put some sweet lyrics to a song down, she asked "why?", i said this song reminds me of you wheneva i hear it, she said "awww", and i said the part that most reminds me is this and put down more lyrics, it was sweet lyrics about eyes, and she didnt reply at all, i thought hmm... and text asking if she heard the song and she still didnt reply

 

so i either made a brave move or a stupid one, but she knows i can be very sweet and i always said i loved her eyes so it wasnt a big deal

[theartofruin]

Stupid!

 

Stop feeding her ego.

[ncmii]

Stupid.

She has a new bf so she really doesn't care what you're doing.

 

You can redeem yourself by not talking to her and just focus on yourself,

[KrispyKreme]

When I told my ex I was happy for her she told me to stop being fake. Even though I do believe that, through all the pain, knowing the other is happy when he or she is the one we love as much as we claim to, should at least be of some comfort, as perverted as that may sounds. This thought has helped me through quite a few nights.

[FathomFear]

What were you trying to accomplish with the conversation?

[perio]

Stupid

sorry

[GotMyLifeBack]

When I told my ex I was happy for her she told me to stop being fake. Even though I do believe that, through all the pain, knowing the other is happy when he or she is the one we love as much as we claim to, should at least be of some comfort, as perverted as that may sounds. This thought has helped me through quite a few nights.

 

Nothing wrong with wanting happiness for your ex, but you might treat yourself better by stopping the sweet nothings with her. Protect your heart.

[ned2010]

thats just me, i want her to think im not bothered, because chasing her aint working, and yeah i said something nice but thats just me and she knows what am like

[serendipity28]

you thought with your heart not with your head..happens to everybody, sometimes what sounds brave and right to us to them sounds unnecessary...nevermind, what ´s done it´s done. you had your answer, now stay strong

[ned2010]

well when she told me about having a bf, i got so angry and annoyed, and i thought doing the opposite to what i wanted to say was a very brave move, but it wouldnt of got me anywhere

 

i dont know if she really has a bf, id say there was 50/50 chance as she claimed she has been with him a week, but went 4 days without seeing him as she was on msn at her girl pals house so who knows

[Batya33]

I wouldn't put stock in tracking where she is on MSN - you have no idea if she was signed in but not there, if her bf was with her, if she saw him at night or in the morning. It's none of your business what his name is. how often she sees him, etc. It also has no relevance as to whether she wants to be with you- she might choose to be on her own rather than date you -that's her choice. It's time to keep distracted and busy and definitely no more texting.

[lesigh1]

stupid. judging by her responses, she doesn't care about you anymore.

 

i'm going through the same thing right now. i'm also doing stupid things.

[DN]

Not brave.

[doesitmatter30]

You will never know from what she tells you. If I had waitied around on the one EX that meant the most to me, I'd have had a 7 year wait until she broke up with her then new BF again.... If she has a BF or says she does, cut your losses before you lose your sanity, because A: she has a boyfriend, or B: she wants you to think she does, which is either hurtful or manipulative.

 

I've been where you are, I spent a good 2 or 3 years so hung up on a girl that I wasted a lot of time (read: my life). It won't happen again, now I've been through it. might not have been so long if I had been to this site way back then.

[agenstallodds]

I would just leave her alone and not contact her. You're making it harder on yourself and she is probably making fun of you to her friends. Give yourself some dignity and respect by leaving her alone until she contacts you. That's the best advice I can give you. Good Luck!

[iBroken]

thats just me, i want her to think im not bothered, because chasing her aint working, and yeah i said something nice but thats just me and she knows what am like

 

Ya but you were clearly bothered - hence the reason you contacted her to find out if she has a boyfriend. Then she said she did and you retaliated by trying to throw some chick at her. Like "Ya? You have a boyfriend? Well I might be meeting someone over new years". (Yes, I get you said that after you wished her well, but you still did it).

 

Then you fed her ego by confirming you still think of her.

 

So I wouldnt say stupid (cause thats a bit harsh and you dont need to beat yourself up over it) but chalk it up to a lesson learned and try not to do it again.

[KrispyKreme]

Nothing wrong with wanting happiness for your ex, but you might treat yourself better by stopping the sweet nothings with her. Protect your heart.

 

Wanted to add: The difference between me and ned2010 is that mine is seriously pissed off slash hurting over the fact that I messed about with some other girl. Heh.

[ned2010]

in all fairness she has done this before, months ago she got a new bf and treated me back, and 5 months later we got back together

[AlwaysAnxious]

in all fairness she has done this before, months ago she got a new bf and treated me back, and 5 months later we got back together

 

And you still continue to pursue this girl? There are some girls worth fighting for in this world, but tbh she sounds like waste of time.

[ned2010]

its complicated

[theartofruin]

All romances are complicated.

 

Mate, this girl is so not worth it. And you are just making yourself look really bad by chasing her, and playing love songs over the phone??! Come on man, snap out of it. Just like AlwaysAnxious says, there are some amazing girls out there who really are worth fighting for and you're wasting all your energy on one who couldn't care less anymore.

[doesitmatter30]

You're settling for her scraps of time and affection when it's convenient for her. I don't know about you, but once I'm that deep in a relationship, I do not share, It's me or him and the decision isn't reversible. You're worth more than you think you are, you're worth more than this.

[ned2010]

it wasnt playing love songs over the phone, it was a lyrics by text, and there is proberly a reason i feel like this towards her and it aint all about getting her back, but i couldnt explain what it is

[intolerable]

ned2010,

 

Honestly? What you did must've annoyed her and you didn't give the impression that you weren't bothered at all, but comparing it to the other 'stupid' things people did when they broke up with their significant others, you're okay. Just don't do it again, please. For your sake.

[Bobbadoo]

ned I know its tough. What you are doing is based on love and love makes you do stupid things. When my girl broke up with me I thought of many things to do to try to win her back, even considering proposing but I had friends who calmed me down and brought me back level headed.

 

You definitely need to stay away from her since you're in no shape in getting her back. If you really want to get her back then you just have to disappear from her life and work on yourself. What you did by asking your girl if she has a new boyfriend was a stupid idea because it did two things that you don't want.

 

First thing is you pushed her away. I bet you she felt really uncomfortable answering that question because my girl was and I felt like an idiot asking that question. Second you're going to go through a whirl of emotions now. You now know that she has a new boyfriend and its going to drive you insane for the next few weeks until your feelings settles down. The good thing from this is that at least you know now then later. I would imagine later you would be all healed up then finding out then, all that time to heal was just wasted.