18 and feeling as though I'm 8

[MyNinja]

Hi eveyone,

 

It's been awhile since I've been able to chat with you guys since I'm out of school and not having contact with a computer. But i realized during the month that I've been out of school that I never really found my place in life socially speaking. I've always been alone and will always be alone if i continue to go through life as i've been.

 

I'm 18 and not doing 18 year old things. My little brothers and sisters are more out going and lively than i'm am. They do everything better than me. They're even more fun to be around than Iam. They have zillions of friends calling them all the time and i have not one. No phone call is ever for me unless it's my granny wanting to fuss me out or my dad. Ihate my life right now because i feel like nothing is ever going to change for me. what did i do to cause this? I wish i knew so i could change. So people won't look up to me as weird or something. i don't know I guess it's my personality that scares people away from me. No one likes to be around me. i just this boring person that everyone likes to make fun of and give me a hard time at my expense.

 

It always seems as though I'm following everyone around as if i don't have any plans of my own. for example my brother and sisters are going to their friend's house and my dad and girlfriend have their own plans. i hear, "Candace what are you going to do? No one is going to be here but us so i suggest you go with the little kids." Do you know how fustrating it can be to be over one of your little sister's friend's house just because I didn't have anyone to be with and staying home alone is just too depressing? think about it. It's crazy when you really look at it. Am i that alone? Im never invited anywhere and i feel as though im always being watched and laughed at. Is it in my mind? please help if anyone has this stange problem which i doubt anyone does. All comments welcome.

 

"Do not go where the path may lead. Instead go where there is no path and leave a trail" aynon.

[sparkler624]

What you need to do is go to places where there will be lots of people your age. If you are planning on going to school you will meet lots and lots of new people. Otherwise you could join a club, a gym, or something. You just gotta put yourself out there. Right now you are going through a 'dry spell', don't worry soon you'll be breaking plans because you'll overbooked. Good luck!

[ForAnother]

I been there. Its tought to know that your siblings are better than you in some areas. Its just, it takes time until you realize that you have your own agenda. Sometimes realize that you are probably happier alone. Or you can enjoy yourself alone, and perhaps your siblings depend on someone else to keep them ok. So realize you are strong. Just have to wait. Ignore the other stuff, and once you do you will become happier. Not worry much anymore

 

ForAnother

[roo1oo]

Are you going to school in the fall? If you are, don't worry. College is a much larger group of people, and out of several thousand students, there's bound to be at least one that you get along with. Also, you'll be with people with similar interests (in classes) so you'll easily make friends there.

 

If your not planning on going to school, consider what your interests are. Like sparkler624 said, join a gym, find a club. Consider volunteering for a local animal shelter, scout group, 4-H, whatever interests you. When you get out there and do things with people that have similar interests to yours, your bound to find friends.

[ShySoul]

I know exactly how you feel. I've never been good socially and doubt I ever will. I find I don't have much in common with people my age and whenever I'm in a social situation I'm too shy and nervous to really get involved. I'm more comfortable alone at home even though it gets me so depressed. Hardly anybody seems to talk to me and it can be really lonely.

 

I think it's just our natural personalities. There's nothing wrong with you and you shouldn't get upset with yourself. Trust me, it doesn't help. Find something you like to do and go and do it. Rather it's playing basketball at the park, volunteering for some organization or anything else, do it. You may meet someone who shares your interest and can build a friendship from there. Remember, be proud of who you are.

[thatguy]

Believe it or not I've got the EXACT same problem as you, for all my life throughout school i was usually depressed and althought i had a fairly large group of friends I was never as outgoing or determined as them.

 

and after highschool i just started drifting away, smoking pot, and always bein ashamed of myself, and it just kept getting worse and worse, I couldnt stand to see even my own picture, I always thought down on myself, and i was just hiding from it through getting high.

 

 

I think its because as long as I can remember i've been torturing myself over the fact i've never had anyone special in my life, and its really hard to think positive when theres nothing positive happening.

 

so I've decided to quit, and am considering anti-depressants, I took them when i was younger and they seemed to help.

Maybe this is an option for you too?

 

sorry, i easily get caught up in my own worries when the point is to help you.

 

 

you ask "what did I do to cause this". I think its because your self conscious, and have low self esteem, jus' like me .

 

I started thinking that all of my friends didnt like me because i didnt have a life of my own, and purposely avoided going to party's. and I avoided situations that would make me feel uncomfortable, But that didnt help at all, it made it worse because my thought pettern began eating away at who I really am.

 

but i've come to realize that im still very young and I cant continue to live my life in misery, its doesnt matter how many friends you have, or how much money you make.

 

What it all comes down to is being happy with yourself, cause thats really the only thing in your life you have complete control of. and when your happy with who you are, you won't ask "whats wrong with me, why don't i have many friends". You'll think things like "im a great person, and anyone who says otherwise can go to hell"

 

and the reason you think "I guess it's my personality that scares people away from me. No one likes to be around me" its your self consiousness that scares people away from you. if you always think negative things, people will only see negative things.

 

take some time to reflect on your life and was it always this way?

 

For me that helped alot cause there have been times in the past when I was happy, but my depression has taken over a large part of my time.

 

 

I still struggle with myself, and very easily get into a depressed mood

I could type on and on for hours because all i really do is think about "why?".

 

I hope my story has helped give you some insight on your problem, and if you ever need someone to talk to, just give me a PM.

 

good luck