When a guy says he is just tired and stressed, is it the truth?

[miie]

When a guy says he is just tired and stressed, is it usually the truth?

 

for the last few weeks i have found my bf become distant, quite, ignoring my messages - or at least not replying to them and being rather short with his answers with me. He hasnt made much of an effot to contact me. i've asked what he had planned for the weekend and i got a 3 word reply text.

 

At first i believed him when he said he was tired and stressed. but im starting to believe he's just saying that. i can be stressed out from my job but i dont stop talking to him or become short with him because of it.

[Batya33]

Nothing to do with gender - I would explain to him that you empathize and also need him to treat you properly regardless -kind, respectful. Tell him that you will give him space however (.e. let him do most of the contacting) --and then give him twice the space he seems to need -let him miss you a little.

[miie]

thanks. Yeah after his reply about the weekend, i am considering just saying that ill give you some space this weekend. He doesnt appear to be eager to see me. Even the sex is happening less. doesn't seem eager for that either.

[d24]

let me counter this with another question:

 

when a girl says she has a headache, is it the truth?

 

short answer : sometimes yes, sometimes not-so-yes

[miie]

let me counter this with another question:

 

when a girl says she has a headache, is it the truth?

 

short answer : sometimes yes, sometimes not-so-yes

 

lol. If i say it is always the truth. i've had terrible headaches since i can remember, so i dont fake them! Im just getting the 'stressed and tired' reason nearly most weeks for every excuse - from not seeing me to not replying to a text message.

[sidehop]

for the last few weeks i have found my bf become distant, quite, ignoring my messages - or at least not replying to them and being rather short with his answers with me. He hasnt made much of an effot to contact me. i've asked what he had planned for the weekend and i got a 3 word reply text.

 

How long have you two been together? It almost sounds like he's in some comfort zone.

[Jd1983]

I agree, either he's in the comfort zone or... there's more to it than he leads on.

[ny guy]

Don't mean to make you worry, but I sometimes said the same stuff to my ex, but then again that was me. At one point, I really didn't know what I was unhappy about it, I couldn't put my finger on it. Try approaching it like you want to listen to him no matter what it is.

 

 

Try suggesting things, sometimes you need to try to pull whatever it is out of them, just don't be adversarial about it. I know I had to do that with my ex, to pull whatever it was out of her. She had to do same with me sometimes. Just be patient.

[miie]

We've been together 18+ months....I know he is busy and probably stressed from his job etc - but it feels it is directed at me because the avoiding, ignoring not bothered if he see's me, short and sharp replies, never any nice messages. But he seems happy enough to go out and do his own thing, go for a drive, go to a coffee shop, see friends, go out with friends for dinner/lunch. But everything to avoid me, or see me for like 4 hours in a week. It may not be of course, but thats what it feels like. Plus i have asked him int he past if some thing was wrong and there was and he told me it wasn't to do with me. He said those words. Turned out it was. So asking doesn't always get me the truth.

 

I also suggest things for us to do and get a no every time with a very lame reason. ANd there is never any suggestion on his part or a suggestion of another day. So i might try Batya's advice and give him twice the space he wants.

[Batya33]

It sounds, unfortunately, like he wants space from you. Nothing to do with his gender! I would back off for the next month and see what happens.

[miie]

It sounds, unfortunately, like he wants space from you. Nothing to do with his gender! I would back off for the next month and see what happens.

 

Im getting that feeling which is odd since i see him like 4 hours in a week! I managed to get out from him that he thinks i send him a lot of texts. I honestly never thought i did. It was a couple a day, and some days none. But if that's what he thinks, i'll stop. Which seems like playing games. Wont surprise me if i get asked why am i being quiet! Thanks for the advice. I'll back off and let him do the contacting.

[Lucidity]

Im getting that feeling which is odd since i see him like 4 hours in a week! I managed to get out from him that he thinks i send him a lot of texts. I honestly never thought i did. It was a couple a day, and some days none. But if that's what he thinks, i'll stop. Which seems like playing games. Wont surprise me if i get asked why am i being quiet! Thanks for the advice. I'll back off and let him do the contacting.

 

With him in his current condition, and you not knowing what is causing it, he could see your withdrawal as an outright abandonment, so make sure that you communicate to him that you are going to back off and give him space.