Pictures of her ex on myspace

[Raincheck]

So i've been dating this girl close to three months. Recently, we added each other on myspace. I noticed in some of her older albums (like a year ago) she still has pictures of her ex and her.

 

She told me when we first started dating, that once in a blue moon her ex would text her, especially for things like birthdays and she would respond to be friendly, but that's where it ended. I told her I am not with that.

 

This bothers me. Should it? Is it too early to speak about it to her?

 

There are no other red flags.

[vertigoxo]

Some people are not all about being enemies with their exes. This just shows what a nice girl she truly is- I mean, how uncomfortable would you be if you dated a girl and all she spits out is hateful speeches about her past boyfriends, even if they weren't all that horrible to begin with? It's a bad sign and it shows you that if you and her would break up, she will have no problem showing the world what a bad guy you are.

 

Leave it alone. Unless he starts to ask her to hang out alone (That's where you should start worrying), let them be cordial with each other. You have HER, not him. You win.

[amiami19]

No, this is harmless. I stayed friendly with my ex as well, saying Happy Birthday or Happy Holidays, it's just to be polite.

 

As far as the pictures goes, I think it's a little weird that she keeps them up on her myspace if they only text each other once or twice a year. Unless, there are other people like friends or family in the pictures, if it was me I would have taken them down a long time ago.

 

It's best to talk to her, let her know how you feel and see how she reacts, If she has no feelings for him she will have no problem taking the pictures down if need be.

[Raincheck]

Some people are not all about being enemies with their exes. This just shows what a nice girl she truly is- I mean, how uncomfortable would you be if you dated a girl and all she spits out is hateful speeches about her past boyfriends, even if they weren't all that horrible to begin with? It's a bad sign and it shows you that if you and her would break up, she will have no problem showing the world what a bad guy you are.

 

Leave it alone. Unless he starts to ask her to hang out alone (That's where you should start worrying), let them be cordial with each other. You have HER, not him. You win.

 

No. Absolutely NOT.

 

An ex is an ex for a reason. They were not your friend, they were your lover, your romantic partner, and once that is over, it is over. You don't have to be bash them, or talk bad about them, but you do not need to be associating yourself with them, especially if you are now involved with someone else. It is disrespectful to "hang out" or have heavy contact with an ex when you are involved with someone, I would NEVER do that and will NOT allow it.

 

The question here is, is it too soon, to tell her that I feel uncomfortable about the pictures she still has up of her ex.

[shuttlefish]

Yeah, I agree, I'd let that go. The ex was part of her life and if they choose to exchange happy birthdays then there is no real threat there (so long as that's really all there is)

 

Don't be the jealous b/f and make an issue of ex. It will not end well and doesn't make you look good.

[Raincheck]

 

As far as the pictures goes, I think it's a little weird that she keeps them up on her myspace if they only text each other once or twice a year. Unless, there are other people like friends or family in the pictures, if it was me I would have taken them down a long time ago.

 

It's best to talk to her, let her know how you feel and see how she reacts, If she has no feelings for him she will have no problem taking the pictures down if need be.

 

That's my concern.

 

What if she thinks it is too soon for me to be asking that? It's been 2 1/2 half months in reality. Is that too soon to make such a request?

[Raincheck]

Yeah, I agree, I'd let that go. The ex was part of her life and if they choose to exchange happy birthdays then there is no real threat there (so long as that's really all there is)

 

Don't be the jealous b/f and make an issue of ex. It will not end well and doesn't make you look good.

 

The question has to do with the pictures! not the contact! please! thanks. =)

[shuttlefish]

, I would NEVER do that and will NOT allow it.

 

.

 

Dude, this attitude towards her WILL NOT FLY. You simply CANNOT allow or not allow things regarding another person. If you don't like the situation then you should end the relationship.

 

If they were going out every week etc then you'd have a point, but pics up on facebook and birthday greetings? Not a big deal in my opin.

[shuttlefish]

The question has to do with the pictures! not the contact! please! thanks. =)

 

You could say that you aren't comfortable with the pics up and see what happens. If she really likes you then she will take them down. Diplomacy and tact rules, ultimatums do not!

[amiami19]

No, it's not ever too soon. If there is a problem it's best to talk about it now and resolve it, don't keep it inside you may become resentful, which can create bigger problems. Also, I would not "request" it of her, just tell her how you feel so you guys can keep the lines of communication clear and open.

[Ms Darcy]

Dude, this attitude towards her WILL NOT FLY. You simply CANNOT allow or not allow things regarding another person. If you don't like the situation then you should end the relationship.

 

If they were going out every week etc then you'd have a point, but pics up on facebook and birthday greetings? Not a big deal in my opin.

 

I actually agree. I feel like if I were her, I would want the guy I'm dating to tell me what he will and will not allow me to do so that I can clearly see the red flag and run away.

 

I think you should tell her. You obviously draw a line in the sand around this issue so there's no use in getting more attached if she does not agree with your opinion.

[Raincheck]

I actually agree. I feel like if I were her, I would want the guy I'm dating to tell me what he will and will not allow me to do so that I can clearly see the red flag and run away.

 

I think you should tell her. You obviously draw a line in the sand around this issue so there's no use in getting more attached if she does not agree with your opinion.

 

She already knows this and is cool with this. She explained, its just for birthdays, and that she never contacts him. We are cool with that.

 

This is about THE PICTURES!!

 

I dont want her to be like, "its too soon and too much for you to be telling me your uncomfortable with pics of my ex on myspace"

[Seymore]

If there are no other red flags, and she's being up front with you about him, I'd say swallow it and deal. I can totally understand how it makes you feel uncomfortable, and I think that's normal. At the worst, I'd voice my feelings about it, but with no demands. She should at least understand. Whether she takes them down or not is another story.

[vertigoxo]

No. Absolutely NOT.

 

An ex is an ex for a reason. They were not your friend, they were your lover, your romantic partner, and once that is over, it is over. You don't have to be bash them, or talk bad about them, but you do not need to be associating yourself with them, especially if you are now involved with someone else. It is disrespectful to "hang out" or have heavy contact with an ex when you are involved with someone, I would NEVER do that and will NOT allow it.

 

The question here is, is it too soon, to tell her that I feel uncomfortable about the pictures she still has up of her ex.

 

Dude, were they together for a while? Because it's rather cold for someone to drop a long-term partner out of their lives JUST LIKE THAT for no reason besides the silly fact of "Oh, they're just an ex, who cares???" Exes have feelings, too.

 

About the pictures, you should calmly talk to her about them. Tell her it makes you feel weird and you'd feel better if she were to take them down and save it somewhere else.

 

Like I said, nothing wrong with being cordial with an ex. Your gf messages him only on major holidays? Well then, you have nothing to worry about. She's just being nice. Now, if they have secret conversations behind your back, and hangs out the two of them alone, and she gets that lovey-dovey trance when she speaks about him... Yeah, I'd think you'd have a big issue on your hands. But now, you're in the clear as far as I'm concerned.

[Ms Darcy]

She already knows this and is cool with this. She explained, its just for birthdays, and that she never contacts him. We are cool with that.

 

This is about THE PICTURES!!

 

I dont want her to be like, "its too soon and too much for you to be telling me your uncomfortable with pics of my ex on myspace"

 

If that's how she feels, though, that is how she feels. Honesty is the best policy. I would go ahead and tell her.

[nutbrownhare]

Does she actually look at the pictures? Are they still up there because she hasn't thought about them in a long time and didn't think to take them down? Are they really prominent, or did you have to do a bit of searching to find them? By bringing the subject up, would you actually be creating a bit of a scene where none need exist?

 

I had a relationship which lasted a few months, ending two years ago. The guy was getting more and more controlling - which is why I ended the relationship - but a bone of contention was the fact that I still had a front door key belonging to my ex long-term partner, who had given me the key just in case I needed to drop by for anything. The long term partner lived miles away and relations post breakup had always been easy and amicable, but there's no way I'd have wanted to rekindle the relationship - of which the current guy was well aware. He told me in no uncertain terms to return the key to its owner.

 

I made a point of keeping the key. It was like a talisman, reminding me that this guy could not push me around in the way he would have liked. I never actually used it.

 

You need to ask yourself why you want her to take those photos down. Do you think she still has lingering feelings for her ex, or would be unfaithful to you? Do you want to blot out her past from your imagination, even though it's part of the person you love? Is this more about control than any real fear of infidelity?

 

These are questions that only you can answer; you have the right to make your feelings on the matter felt, but I'd be wary of forcing or coercing her.