Tired of... well, everything...

[MattW]

I'm not entirely sure how to describe what it is I'm going through right now, because frankly, I don't really understand it, myself. See, I've come to realize that I'm basically tired of life. Well, my life. And no, I don't mean that in a "suicidal" kind of way. It's just... I'm tired of the store I work part time at, I'm tired of college classes, I'm tired of where I live (the city, the same old scenery, etc.), I'm tired of the same people I come into contact with on a regular basis... I'm even tired of the little things in life, like my favorite hobbies, or favorite music, or favorite TV shows, or favorite foods, etc.

 

Everything just feels so routine. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of everything, like I'm on "autopilot", or something. But on the other hand, I really don't have the resources (i.e., money, or a complete education) to make any kind of major life changes. I don't even know that I have the energy for "something new", anyway.

 

That's the other thing, too... I no longer feel that I have any drive, or ambition, or whatever. I just don't "feel" like doing anything, really. I don't seem to have any motivation, for whatever reason. I don't even know where I want to go or what I want out of life, anymore. I just feel mentally burnt out on everything. I don't understand what's going on with me, and I can't help but be worried about where things are headed for me...

[easyguy]

I was recently experiencing more or less the same thing you are describing. I know what you mean.

 

I'm 23 , you're 21. We are far too young to slip into a monotonous life routine in which we let any kind of adventure fly right by us. For the past couple of months , I got into the habit of going out to the same venues 4 days a week and hanging with the same people and working and doing the same old stuff. I casually dated 3 different girls after getting out of a 5 month relationship.

 

Then the last girl I briefly dated , who , after we rekindled some friendship , began to inspire in me with her adventurous essence. Even though we are friends , time recently spent with her allowed me to look at myself and what my life has been up to , juxtaposed onto hers. It was like a mirror , and opened my eyes up a bit.

 

I took a trip by myself last summer for a month and came back high on life. It was adventure that was needed after 2 years of intense schooling. Even though I was hardly working during the school year , I saved up for it.

 

All I can say is , start small. Make minor changes. For instance , I recently signed up to volunteer for a couple events. Not to meet a lady or anything , but to include something else in my life that will add a different dynamic to everything that I am already doing... those elements , those parts of my life that have become routine. Also , I am starting to take daily walks to get some exercise. Fitness is an excellent way to improve self-esteem , confidence , and look better. Don't make excuses about not having enough time. Wake up earlier if you have to. A woman I'm Facebook friends with has 3 jobs , a boyfriend , and runs marathons on a regular basis. I remind myself that I am nowhere near as busy as she is , and she makes time to exercise and do all the other things she wants to do in life.

 

Save up money , even a few bucks every day. Money you save adds up over time. Save up for a trip , for something that you are excited about. Maybe it's taking yoga classes. There were a few weeks when I spent $30 a week on drinks at bars , and my bank account began to suffer. Sometimes you have to force yourself to change your habits. I reached a point in which enough was enough.

 

Anyway , I hope that is helpful to your situation. I know what it feels like to feel tired of everything , tired of life. We're young , too young to become jaded.

[easyguy]

As for music , if you want to discover some new artists/bands , a great way is through link removed. It's basically a music recording search engine that works like a radio station. You type in the band or artist and it pulls up a recording by that band and a ton of other recordings that are similar to it. Instead of typing in your favorite band or artist , type in someone you never listen to. If you never listen to blues , go for a BB King playlist or something.

[MattW]

Save up money , even a few bucks every day. Money you save adds up over time. Save up for a trip , for something that you are excited about. Maybe it's taking yoga classes. There were a few weeks when I spent $30 a week on drinks at bars , and my bank account began to suffer. Sometimes you have to force yourself to change your habits. I reached a point in which enough was enough.

 

Eh, I've done a little of that during this past summer, and it only really seemed to help temporarily. I went on a few trips, for instance, and whatnot, but it really didn't "reinvigorate" me the way I'd hoped. I'm trying to find new hobbies or activities I might be interested in, but nothing really seems to draw me in.

 

As for music , if you want to discover some new artists/bands , a great way is through link removed. It's basically a music recording search engine that works like a radio station. You type in the band or artist and it pulls up a recording by that band and a ton of other recordings that are similar to it. Instead of typing in your favorite band or artist , type in someone you never listen to. If you never listen to blues , go for a BB King playlist or something.

 

Heh heh, well, I'm kind of narrow-minded. I only like a couple specific genres, nothing else holds my attention, musically. As far as music goes, my issue is, I want more music of the same genres I like, but I quite literally have nearly every notable band of said genres in my music library already. @_@

[Aceism]

I think I just posted a thread about this very recently. You need to find some kind of passion or interest. The other poster is right that you should explore, but only what you really find to be interesting. That starts of course with what your basic interests, flavors and tastes are in life. That will cause everything to blend in together.

 

For example, I am obsessed with filmmaking. Filmmaking is a networking industry by trade, so I had to meet other people in order to work. It's creative, and I'm always doing different projects, and through these people I find new hobbies, interests and activities all the time. With the new people I meet I engage in these hobbies. And it never becomes a routine, because every day is always different. Yes, it is chaotic, and doesn't always pay the bills, but I wouldn't opt for any other lifestyle. I've literally found my niche.

 

I don't know what your passion or niche is, but there isn't any rush. Find it. Find out what makes you wake up each morning and jump into life with zest. While taking trips, taking some classes, pursuing random activities may help you in the short term, true fulfillment comes down to what your passions are. You may not have one now, but eventually you'll have one that will define your career and your life.

 

It's tough to be a director. I have to constantly create, design and convince investors to back my projects. And I have to make sure my projects are good so I have a job in the future. It's a never-ending thing. It takes days, weeks, months. But the best thing about that is that it keeps me going. It's what I love to do and I would never trade anything else in my life for it.

 

Discover your passion (however long it takes) and you'll regret ever being in this stagnant, emotional state.

[halfie]

Go for a complete sea change. Go out and enjoy the simplicity of nature, let is astonish you

With little money you can become completely independent without money.

Invest into running you're house on solar and wind energy, rids life of electricity bills.

Work only for what you need, cut down the hour's of you're shift.

Doing the above is sure to disturb you're routine at least for a little while.

 

The more time you have, the more time you have to develop new incentives.

Explore the right side of you're mind, I doubt you've accessed it for a LONG time.

Start doing things that don't require money..

 

get into philosophy and spirituality, discover new mental universities within you're own mind!

all I can say is that I don't know the meaning of existence but I know that we aren't brought into this world to be droned out with the dull sound of responsibility.

[MattW]

Huh. I don't even know where to begin with "finding a passion", really. I mean, I have a few "ideal careers", but they're basically all pipe dreams. They're either WAY too far out of my reach, or I don't possess the proper skills necessary to excel at them. Some of them are a bit outlandish, even, in the sense that they're not very stable careers.

 

On top of that, I don't really feel I particularly excel at anything. Heck, I've been bouncing around majors in college so much that I'll be taking classes longer than most people do to get their degree, to make up for all the switching. I'm basically sticking with something computer-related, because that's the only field I feel I have any kind of competence in, although I can't say I have the "passion" to really enjoy and feel proud of such a career.

[halfie]

just my 2cents but I say drop the institutionalised way of thinking, find intrests outside of career paths, like I said, only work for what you need and you'll see you probably only need to work 2 days a week, providing you with much more time to explore and think about new incentives, if you work defines you're time frame of igniting new ideas and interests then you'll be vastly restricted trust me time is on you're side so use it wisely also the internet is you're friend O.o search search and search!

[Aceism]

Huh. I don't even know where to begin with "finding a passion", really. I mean, I have a few "ideal careers", but they're basically all pipe dreams. They're either WAY too far out of my reach, or I don't possess the proper skills necessary to excel at them. Some of them are a bit outlandish, even, in the sense that they're not very stable careers.

 

On top of that, I don't really feel I particularly excel at anything. Heck, I've been bouncing around majors in college so much that I'll be taking classes longer than most people do to get their degree, to make up for all the switching. I'm basically sticking with something computer-related, because that's the only field I feel I have any kind of competence in, although I can't say I have the "passion" to really enjoy and feel proud of such a career.

 

I agree with halfie. It didn't take me four years of schooling to figure out that I wanted to do film. It took my interests in photography, acting, writing and movies to figure out I wanted to be a director and a producer. I also took the unconventional route - originally I didn't go to film school. I just sat down and wrote scripts. I took some acting classes, left school for a bit, worked a side job while working on set. My "institutionalization" would have prevented me from being truly creative at pursuing my career. That said, I did end up going to film school for one year in order to learn the production skills I needed to become competent on set, something that would take me a far longer time to learn by actually working in the industry.

 

My question I pose to you is, why do you feel your ideal career is only a pipe dream and why do you feel you can't learn the skills necessary to pursue it? I can only think of a few careers harder than my path, such as becoming a lead actor or becoming a Navy SEAL. And for me, it's still a lottery. I may never become the next Stephen Spielberg or Christopher Nolan, but knowing in the back of my mind I am trying has embodied the possibility that I could be, and firms up the attitude and lifestyle I have as I go about about pursuing that.

 

I don't know you from a hole in the hall, but something tells me you remind me of someone. Myself in the past. I only did what my parents told me would guarantee me a paycheck in the future. What they didn't tell me is that I would have to give up my soul. So I became a defeatist. I didn't know anything about filmmaking back then, and I was afraid to lead and manage other people. Terrified. I told myself I couldn't do it.

 

Now here I am, I just wrapped a set where I had to lead 50 people on a crazy desert shoot. I can't believe I've done it but I did. So you can too. Maybe you don't have the skills now, but you can learn them. And you may not necessarily need schooling in order to learn them. There's apprenticeships, internships, support groups, workshops, someone you might know that may offer you a helping hand (and if they can't, they can find someone for you). America is rife with opportunity, but you have to get creative to take advantage of it. Even school is a great place, because it provides you with resources and people to network with that the real world would put a price tag on to get access to.

 

Even though you believe your ideal careers are far out of your reach, I don't. And I am the correct one here, because I thought my ideal career was definitely far out of my reach, and yet I'm here today doing it. Pipe dream is a cop-out. My career is extremely outlandish and unstable, but I am the only one capable of making it stable. I grew out of that defeatist attitude and became aggressive. It feels awesome when you get to that point.

 

What are your ideal careers? Tell me about them, I can assure you there are ways of pursuing them that aren't necessarily impossible. You're probably a lot more competent than you put yourself out to be. I was in a computer field too, before I switched to film.

 

When you're on your deathbed at 85 years old, would you ever regret not being able to pursue your dreams or doing what you would have wanted to do your whole life?

[MattW]

America is rife with opportunity, but you have to get creative to take advantage of it.

 

And therein lies the problem -- I'm not a creative person. And that's why I call my ideal careers "pipe dreams", because they all require a fair bit of creativity and cleverness (neither of which I possess, and neither of which I've been able to "learn") in order to really see any success.

 

For instance, one ideal career for me is writing fictional TV shows and/ or movies. I find I have a few interesting core concepts for such things, but I don't have the imagination or the creativity to properly flesh out my ideas and make them truly come to life. And actually, one of my hobbies (which has become very on again, off again, for me) for the last 7-8 years is writing fictional stories (well, mostly one long reoccurring story, similar to how a TV show would extend on), but it's also so generic and inorganic. I can never come up with something truly new or exciting, so I find, when I write, that I tend to either go with the simplest, easiest route, or, worse yet, I just copy things I've seen from TV shows and movies because I can't come up with anything better.

 

That's just one example. I could probably list out many more, but like I said, they all require a great sense of creativity and imagination. Unless I can somehow flip some magical switch on my brain and suddenly become creative and clever, I can't see myself ever being successful in any of the ideal careers I dream of.

[Aceism]

Some people aren't born creative. Some are. That's just the law of nature. Some people are born to have eidetic memories, some can crunch numbers faster than a computer with hyperthreading, while others are born to paint the Mona Lisa backwards with two of their fingers tied together. That's just life.

 

Some people are more creative than others. Some are less. You and I both fit into the latter.

 

Since you told me you've been writing fictional stories for almost a decade or so, you have some creative spark. But you're also not James Cameron, who immerses himself in constant and vivid detail about every little project he does. That's completely okay. Some ideas are half-formed while others are complete, and still others float around in your brain, waiting to be developed. In the entertainment and book world, nothing is truly original anymore. People always rob from the same stories. Even Cameron's idea for the story of Avatar is not truly original by any means. It's Pocahontas dressed up with 3D blue aliens. And he's pocketing a $350 million dollar paycheck from that.

 

It sounds that, however inorganic and generic you claim your stories to be, you do on some level enjoy writing. That's why you do it in the first place. There's a way to be creative but not so creative you suffer from burnout and your ideas end up half-baked. And this is not a vacuum -- in this world, you always work with other people, some more collaborative and creative than you, who will help you along the way. I've always been told that the key to success is working with people who are better than you. There is nothing more true than that. Without the connections I've made here I'd still be a wandering soul, looking for work.

 

So you take your "generic" idea, give it to another writer or producer, and they offer a take on it. Maybe they co-write with you. They build upon your creative ideas. Suddenly your idea isn't so generic anymore. It's interesting. It's captivating. It has a hook, a twist ending. Something new and refreshing. And that's all right, because nothing here is penned by one sole writer. Everything is rewritten for tons of reasons. But the fact that you had the idea in the first place is enough of a credit to give yourself.

 

I copy themes and structures from television and movies all the time. I pitch my version, my version gets revised, it becomes better and then I shoot it. It's suddenly not so frightening anymore that the responsibility is fully on me, because writing for entertainment is a very collaborative arena. If the show takes off, hooray, if it doesn't -- well let's go back to the drawing board.

 

The majority of the people who are successful in the TV and movie business did not start out that way with connections to family and friends -- that's the exception. They moved out, worked a side job and at nights went to auditions or wrote, and maybe shot on the weekends. But all of them are incredibly passionate for one reason: they know they will get there some day. It could take weeks or months or years, but they had a goal they were striving towards, unlike people who work 9-5 jobs and come home every day with no real end in sight. Nothing wrong with regular jobs, but the rewards can be very fulfilling for a creative career financially, emotionally and mentally.

 

There is a reason people in the entertainment business make the highest salaries in America. Because they had to work for nothing for several years for the longest hours before they could get slightly noticed. The rewards-to-labor ratio is worse than any doctor or lawyer. But when they do get there, they sit at the top of the mountain. It's the pinnacle example of the American Dream.

 

10% inspiration, 90% perspiration. I am by far not the most creative person among my friends, or the most clever, but I am the most driven. I come up with ideas that aren't always great, but I work with people who are more creative and better than me and hone my ideas to the point where they're good enough to turn into a production.

 

If this is one career you could really see yourself doing, not because you're not creative enough but because you are willing to put in the hours writing and working with other collaborative artists on making your ideas clever and interesting, I'd say go for it.