How do I explain myself to him clearly?

[Delusional Kisses]

I met a guy 3 1/2 months ago on a website (not a dating site) and we have spoken daily since...mostly by text, but occassionally by phone. I am very attracted to his personality, etc. He lives about 700 miles away from me, but nevertheless, I have no issue meeting him and even going there for the initial meeting. We have discussed meeting several times, but nothing concrete is ever planned. At this point, its just bugging me. Just meet me or don't, but I'm not going to continue to keep up some fictional romance for eternity. Life is short. I've stated that I wanted to meet, so I can't be any more clear. I told him if he doesn't want to meet, then just say so and he says he does. Am I being naive? But again, since I don't want to play games, I just stop contacting him. Leave it alone, ya know? but then he starts up again...just leave me alone if you don't want something real. I want something real!

[SapphireNoir10]

Well, it seems he wont give you what you want. So personally I'd let go.

 

Edit: Have you made it clear what you want and told him what you've posted here?

[DN]

Give a date by which you will have either met him or dumped him. And mean it.

[Tbit]

Only you can set the limit on how long you are willing to wait to meet and IF you are willing to respond when he plays yo-yo with your emotions. I don't see him ceasing contact with you that easy... It will have to be you who controls this situation.

[shuttlefish]

I met a guy 3 1/2 months ago on a website (not a dating site) and we have spoken daily since...mostly by text, but occassionally by phone.

 

. He lives about 700 miles away from me, !

 

Possible reasons;

 

1.) he's painfully shy or awkward in person

2.) he's not what he is representing himself to be

3.) he's attached to someone else (married whatever)

4.) he's weird.

5.) you're a hobby, not a viable concern or interest

 

Google this guy.

[sidehop]

If he's still not sure after you expressed interest in you actually coming to see him than don't know what his problem is but doesn't sound all that great either.

[Delusional Kisses]

Possible reasons;

 

1.) he's painfully shy or awkward in person

2.) he's not what he is representing himself to be

3.) he's attached to someone else (married whatever)

4.) he's weird.

5.) you're a hobby, not a viable concern or interest

 

Google this guy.

 

Well, I have googled him and nothing crazy comes up. I know where he works. I've sent something to him at his house so married seems unlikely. He's a salesman so shy and awkward doesn't seem to fit. I think it comes down to being weird or that I'm just a hobby. Either way, I'm not going to be someone's hobby or entertainment.

[ibu]

You said you indicated that you wanted to meet but that nothing concrete is ever planned.

 

Why don't you plan something concrete then? Give him a date, and a place where to meet and see how he reacts.

[Delusional Kisses]

I'd be traveling 700 miles to meet him. I pretty much have to have his okay too.

[ibu]

I'd be traveling 700 miles to meet him. I pretty much have to have his okay too.

 

And he doesn't want to give it?

 

I'd ask him once and for all if he wants something real and if you two can start planning a meeting.

If he's still reluctant, or evasive, I'd cut my losses and move on. I can imagine how frustrating this gets. ](*,)

 

I'm going to meet someone too in November, and I have to travel nearly 6000 miles. We have discussed this many, many times, and not once did I ever get the feeling that he wasn't okay with it. He even paid half my plane ticket!