My birthday just passed and No Contact from the ex

[ev1782]

I would have sworn,,,, that my EX, whom broke up with me in feb, would have contacted me for my birthday.... But alas she did not.

 

Its NOT that i wanted her to contact me to wish me well on my bday but i was curious as to would she. A small part of me was hoping she would so i wouldnt Write nothing back and feel like ive gained control. But part of me is glad she didn't so as not to set me back and I Got a CLEAR view of where she is at.

 

Anyways, this helps me move on even more. I had an awesome time on my bday with old and new friends doing what i love which was to make music.

 

NC really works to get yourself back,, im moving on a lot faster than had i stood with her trying to work it out. Keep it up,,, it only gets easier!

[nutbrownhare]

Actually, it's interesting what you say about being glad that she didn't contact you because it would have set you back.

 

Sometimes, it's the kind thing to do on the part of the dumper, who might otherwise get in touch to assuage their own guilt feelings with no thought as to the effect on the other person. Sometimes holding back can be the right thing to do.

 

It's great that you had an awesome time without her being any part of it. And it's onwards and upwards from hereon in!

[iBroken]

Ya, i know the feeling.

 

My ex broke up with me a week before my birthday and didnt even so much as wish me a happy day. You are better off

[jenna-is-here]

Yeah, be glad. I really hope my ex doesnt contact me on my bd because then I wont have to make the decision of what to do.

 

Oh, and Happy Birthday!

[sunday2010]

Ya, i know the feeling.

 

My ex broke up with me a week before my birthday and didnt even so much as wish me a happy day. You are better off

 

i got nothing and it was amonth after the break

[surfNski]

Yea, I hear you when my ex left me I didnt get a happy birthday, merry christmas, congradulations on being accepted to a program no one thought I would get into, nothing, silence and when I did see her I got attitude for no reason.

[Eddie37]

5 months since breakup? Your birthday is the last thing on her mind. It's a bit troubling that so many people at ENA put all this stake in the Birthday Contact theory. It's like people hang onto this hope that on their birthday their ex will contact them. It's ridiculous. Sorry if that sounds callous. Perhaps it has to do with the predominantly early twenties age range of the members here.

[ev1782]

5 months since breakup? Your birthday is the last thing on her mind. It's a bit troubling that so many people at ENA put all this stake in the Birthday Contact theory. It's like people hang onto this hope that on their birthday their ex will contact them. It's ridiculous. Sorry if that sounds callous. Perhaps it has to do with the predominantly early twenties age range of the members here.

 

I dont understand how its a bit troubling,,, This is a relationship forum about Love and Love Lost. A birthday is a perfectly normal thing to wonder about whether or not your ex will contact you.

 

And everyones situation is different,,, My ex broke up with me cause she's young and didn't want to be in a commited relationship. She was NEVER a Cold hearted person... So i figured she might have contacted me but alas she did not,,, Not a big deal.

 

Ive been the dumper before,, i never contacted my EX for any reason no matter how special a day it was for her during the first year of our breakup,,, I did it to give her the space she needed to move on and not give her false hope and to not feel guilty myself. So i get it.

[jimmajam]

I dont understand how its a bit troubling,,, This is a relationship forum about Love and Love Lost. A birthday is a perfectly normal thing to wonder about whether or not your ex will contact you.

 

And everyones situation is different,,, My ex broke up with me cause she's young and didn't want to be in a commited relationship. She was NEVER a Cold hearted person... So i figured she might have contacted me but alas she did not,,, Not a big deal.

 

 

Same story here. I don't think it's bad to think you'll get contact at holidays and birthdays. My ex dumped me and made contact every holiday. Not every breakup is completely nasty where they don't care about the ex's birthday or life at all.

[brandnewday47]

I'm curious about this as well.. I have a few months leading to my birthday and I'll be interested what happens. I'll laugh if she gets the wrong date.

[Eddie37]

I dont understand how its a bit troubling,,, This is a relationship forum about Love and Love Lost. A birthday is a perfectly normal thing to wonder about whether or not your ex will contact you.

 

And everyones situation is different,,, My ex broke up with me cause she's young and didn't want to be in a commited relationship. She was NEVER a Cold hearted person... So i figured she might have contacted me but alas she did not,,, Not a big deal.

 

Ive been the dumper before,, i never contacted my EX for any reason no matter how special a day it was for her during the first year of our breakup,,, I did it to give her the space she needed to move on and not give her false hope and to not feel guilty myself. So i get it.

It just seems like a lot of people operate under some illusion that the Birthday is this magical day that the ex will contact them...as though they would forget about all the crap, let by-gones be by-gones and wish them a happy birthday. It's just a bunch of hogwash...and quite counter productive.

[ev1782]

5 months since breakup? Your birthday is the last thing on her mind. It's a bit troubling that so many people at ENA put all this stake in the Birthday Contact theory. It's like people hang onto this hope that on their birthday their ex will contact them. It's ridiculous. Sorry if that sounds callous. Perhaps it has to do with the predominantly early twenties age range of the members here.

 

You know what bro maybe your right... Maybe im just saying this cause i had an ok Day and certain things today reminded me of WHY we broke up and maybe cause i was on facebook and saw an updated pic of her... and she looked really nice,,,,, BUT i guess your right. It is the last thing on her Mind.... Its going on 6 freakin months and in the last week since my bday...

 

...I have been feeling a bit down,,, After having almost an entire month where i was doing fine. And after seeing that pic,,, Its just HURTS a lot,, apparently there is still alot more healing to do.

[Eddie37]

Ain't Facebook great? Cruisin' along just fine and then bam!

[ev1782]

Ain't Facebook great? Cruisin' along just fine and then bam!

 

Its of the DEVIL lol,,, While it hurts its also good in a way to show me i still have some letting go to do. Thanks for being blunt.

 

Your right. In my case, my birthday was the last thing on her mind.

[abigheart]

I dont understand how its a bit troubling,,, This is a relationship forum about Love and Love Lost. A birthday is a perfectly normal thing to wonder about whether or not your ex will contact you.

 

And everyones situation is different,,, My ex broke up with me cause she's young and didn't want to be in a commited relationship. She was NEVER a Cold hearted person... So i figured she might have contacted me but alas she did not,,, Not a big deal.

 

Ive been the dumper before,, i never contacted my EX for any reason no matter how special a day it was for her during the first year of our breakup,,, I did it to give her the space she needed to move on and not give her false hope and to not feel guilty myself. So i get it.

 

ev1782 - My ex similarly broke up with me because he felt young and didn't want to be in a long-term r/s at this time but was absolutely never a cold-hearted person either to me nor anyone. I definitely felt the same when my birthday came up in June, wondering whether he'd contact me except you handled it a lot better than I did. I actually cried that day b/c he didn't contact me...pathetic. But now I know, maybe inside he did wish me a happy birthday but he was also respecting my wishes for NC esp. after I announced it to him a month earlier that I couldn't be in touch with him right now...

 

I don't know what it is about holidays, but I guess in retrospect, I'm glad he didn't reach out.

 

Good job on holding up!

[BriarRose]

i never had an ex contact me just because it was my birthday. and i no longer would expect one to.

[septembermourning]

ok, someone explain this to me, my ex of two weeks ago FORGOT my birthday but my exes of two years ago and 7 years ago, one being a narcissist DID remember and both called/text me at 12:02 AM!! But the guy who just months ago wanted to marry me and have kids with me FORGOT IT COMPLETELY even though he was calling me that day for something else!?!?

 

my birthday was yesterday. My ex and I just moved out of the house we shared together for almost a year 2 weeks ago. We were together two years. We are not on the greatest of terms and one of the major reasons we are no longer together is because he went from a caring thoughtful person to a very busy/stressed w/work and school totally self absorbed rude person. I told him this two weeks ago the last time we saw each other and he was angry. So what did he do yesterday? he called. My heart skipped a beat and I felt so relieved that he had remembered my birthday. Turns out he had NOT remembered my birthday! he left a message talking about how he was going to have to leave my stuff at my house that night and was I around? so I text him back that I was not and I was going out for my birthday and to leave it on my porch so does he feel sorry for forgetting???? HELL NO, he calls me back leaves a voicemail saying he hadn't remembered it was my birthday and then sort of laughed about that, said SORRY in a very NON sorry like way and told me he'd leave my stuff on porch then told me to have fun going out and sounded mad. I thought that was totally cruel and now I know that he really truly does not care about me or think about me. When I think about how special I always made his holidays/b'days, it makes me sort of ill. I KNOW we are not together but it was only 2 weeks ago. I think it's terrible. I think that speaks volumes. Birthday's are important.

[Nerdyjock]

A small part of me was hoping she would so i wouldnt Write nothing back and feel like ive gained control.

 

I am impressed! It takes a lot for someone who is broken up with to be able to look at themselves and really understand why they want to hear from their ex. It is perfectly human and reasonable to feel this way. It is also very healthy and, in my opinion, a good indicator that you are on the right track even if you still have hurt/sadness/anger/etc.

 

So for what it's worth, you get a random pat on the back from me, a random stranger We can do this! (Get over our ex's 100%, that is).