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i love her but she messes me around so much, i don't know how much more i can take


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ive been seeing a girl for the last 9 months, shes never actually been my gf but we've always sort of dated each other and when we go out we hold hands, kiss etc. (we're both 19). i know her previous relationship ended badly and she was hurt both physically and emotionally so she has always found it difficult to trust me.

she has a habit of just randomly ignoring me then telling me that its over and we should stop dating without actually giving a reason. then about a week later she'll get back in touch and tell me that she really regrets it and really misses me, so then we get back together, this has happened countless times and i've never told her this but it really hurts me every time she does this. i should just leave her but i genuinely love her and i don't wanna lose her cos she really is a great girl apart from this

i've really reached breaking point now though, she is in one her stages of ignoring me atm (she hasn't told me its over yet though) and i need to say something to her. i don't know how to go about it though. should i tell her that i really care about her but she is really hurting me or should i not tell her how hurt i am and just tell her that if she ever needs to talk i'll be there for her.

please don't tell me that she isn't interested in me cos i've already covered that ground, if she didn't like me she wouldn't still be coming back after 9 months and like i said, i really don't want to leave her.

thanks for reading, hope you can help

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Well I guess the question you need to ask yourself is: Do you really want to put yourself through this being hurt and emotionally abused for the duration of this relationship? Because in reality, until she changes, it won't stop. And I bet its going to be pretty difficult for her to change.


I would sit down, talk to her, tell her your feelings when she does this, and tell her if it doesn't stop for your own emotional health you are going to need to leave this relationship. Hopefully that will be enough of a wake-up call that she will want to turn things around and make it better.

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Think about it this way - you deserve better. She's been hurt physically and emotionally and she's using you as her therapist and confidant. I don't really see much of a relationship here. What are you getting out of it? She's ignoring you? Perfect. You ignore her - you don't need to say anything. Don't tell her you really care and she's hurting you and that you'll always be there for her. Let her stew on her own. Let her fix her problems on her own. YOU can't fix her. And she's clearly not ready for a relationship. Believe me, if you cut off contact, she'll come running back to her whipping post. Is that what you REALLY want? This see-saw will not end until she faces her issues. I still think you deserve better.

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Oh wow, whether she's interested in you or not - she's already treating you like dirt.

She's coming back to you after 9 months because (wait for it) she's keeping you on the BACK BURNER. Actions speak monuments louder than words, it could matter less what she may say every time she comes running back to *only date you* - her actions all point to her just wanting your attention, and the ego boost you give her... nothing more.


Seen this happen all the time. It's horrible and immature. The only thing you can rely on this girl for is DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA.

You don't want to hear any of this of course, but drop her - she's not worth your time if you're obviously not worth hers.

She's enjoying toying with you like a rag-doll so don't let her do it anymore, cut this chick out of your life and gain some self-respect from it because she's walking all over you.


Don't mean to be harsh but you sound like you need it.

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