quick question

[inlove32]

which one is worse in your opinion, cheating by means of sex or cheating by kissing/making out?

 

just curious because my boyfriend cheated on me and had sex with his ex but when I asked him if he kissed her, he said no, and that made me feel a lot better. I don't know, I might be the only one who feels this way, but I think that kissing can be more meaningful, like sex can go either way, it can be meaningful or not, but I think kissing is always meaningful. Like, you wouldn't kiss someone that you don't have feelings for, you know? But plenty of people have sex with people they don't have feelings for just for the pleasure. What's your take on this?

[pumpkinmoon]

Both are as bad as each other but kissing is worse in a way because you get less out of it.

 

I have to say though that I do not believe for a second that he didn't kiss her.

[inlove32]

Both are as bad as each other but kissing is worse in a way because you get less out of it.

 

I have to say though that I do not believe for a second that he didn't kiss her.

 

well, believe what you want, but I know he didn't...I know how he is and I know he wouldn't kiss her because he doesn't have feelings for her, but thank you for your opinion

[Teaday]

I've typically had more feelings for those I had sex with. But whether a kiss or sex, the feeling behind it is really what you make it to be.

 

Simply put: just because 2 people haven't kissed and/or had sex, it doesn't mean they don't have feelings for eachother. And, conversely, just because they've kissed or had sex, it doesn't necessarily mean they have strong feelings for eachother.

 

I'm sorry you've been cheated on. It sucks, it truly does. But I really feel that you're trying to rationalize this. Either way, he cheated. That's bad enough in itself.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Sex because it's potentially endangering my health.

[Day_Walker]

I dont like to make judgments as to what would be worse because in my mind the act of cheating is enough and that has already undermined the relationship.

[arcadefire]

Cheating is cheating, whether a kiss, emotional straying, or repeated sex. If you take him back without having him feel remorseful for it, he'll do it again because he got away with it before.

[MikNomis]

I hope you didn't forgive him...

[AlexiaLeah]

I actually agree with your opinion in the first post of this thread.

 

I'd say that the act of sex is more "physical" than "emotional", hence without passionate kissing, it seems purely superficial and over-and-done, fulfilled.

 

 

Not to sound as if I'm being sexist, but I would wonder, if a male would agree with this way of thinking, if it might be the opposite. For instance, if he learnt that his partner cheated by sex only, would that be worse in his mind than if it were just a kiss?

[Jd1983]

In my opinion, sex is a lot worst than kissing. Just for the simple fact that it's more physical.

[Billy587]

Are you guys seriously for real? How is this even being discussed? How is sex not worse than cheating. OP, your boyfriend was INSIDE another girl. How does the fact that he didn't kiss her (presumably which I do not buy at all) make that any better? Not to sound graphic, but your bf orgasming in or on another girl is somehow better than if there lips touched? I'm seriously at a loss for works with this post

[inlove32]

I actually agree with your opinion in the first post of this thread.

 

I'd say that the act of sex is more "physical" than "emotional", hence without passionate kissing, it seems purely superficial and over-and-done, fulfilled.

 

 

Not to sound as if I'm being sexist, but I would wonder, if a male would agree with this way of thinking, if it might be the opposite. For instance, if he learnt that his partner cheated by sex only, would that be worse in his mind than if it were just a kiss?

 

that's a very good question. But I see what you're saying. Perhaps since females tend to get more of an emotional-attachment during sex, (like you said, not to be sexist or anything) maybe, if it were the other way around, a man would think that sex is worse.

[SheBrokeMe]

Kissing is bad. But they can do that in public with their cloths on and without passing on harmful and potentially life threatening diseases to you.

 

Kissing is normally emotional.

 

Sex is almost ALWAYS emotional. Your at your more vulnerable point, and your trusting someone a lot. And your invading every bit of privacy that they physically have.

 

Sure sometimes a (woman who takes money for sex) wont kiss because.. Its some sort of control and something personal she can keep for herself. But under normal circumstances, sex is as intimate as someone can get.

 

 

I understand your pain, my woman cheated on me and did some horrible things. And I am still uncertain if I want to, or can work things out with her.. That said~ Regardless of if you want your relationship to work or you want to end it. You need to accept the fact of the matter:

 

That is, he cheated on you. He violated your trust. He betrayed you in one of the lowest forms by taking for-granted one of the most intimate things you two had together and it will NEVER be the same. You will always have to worry about him cheating again. He DOES have feelings for her because he slept with her. They just might not be as great as his feelings for you.

HE obviously has some issues if he is a cheater, and they need to be addressed.

 

You need to consider your health, and emotional well being. It can be hard to split up, and even harder under circumstances like this. But in the end you need to consider which option is going to be the best for your future.