It's over again..

[SilverManic]

My ex and I were going out for almost 5 months. About a month ago he dumped me because he liked someone else (for the past year) and he didn't want to get into a relationship. He also said that he gets angry with me for things I do... eg... normal teen stuff like going out and getting drunk the night before an exam etc.. well by the time I realized what I was doing wrong it was too late. He dumped me again last saturday. He said that he'd gotten over the girl now and it was just over the anger stuff. He told me that he got depressed when he yelled at me for things I did wrong. I think that I needed to be yelled at or I'd not know what I did wrong.

Well it got to friday and he took me to a house party with him. I've been increadably depressed and suicidal over the whole thing and a few people asked me if I was ok and I told them how I was feeling. The convosation went on and someone started talking about scars and depression which brought me onto a suicide topic. He said I freaked his friends out.. I was only talking about what they brought up.

He's told me that he never wants to get back with me because he doesn't want to hurt me. I went threw a bad stage over the last few days and he said he doesn't want to see me right now because he's depressed. He said he doesn't want a girlfriend or the responsabilaty of one.

I don't know what to do because he was my best friend. I know I'm his first girlfriend in about 5 or 6 years so I thought he might just be confused. He told me that he didn't know what he wanted. I love him so much and am finding it really hard to get over him.

I really want to get back with him and have told him so but it just makes him angry. We decided to give each other some space and only talk over the phone, email, messanger, text messages. I said I wouldn't phone him for a few days.

Has anyone got any tips on getting over him? I'm really lost for ideas.. I know it takes time.. I've already told him all there is to say now.. Could there be any chance for the future maybe several years down the line? Or am I just being too wishful?

Thanks...

Silver.

[Meow18]

I think you shouldn't think about what could happen in the future. You could possibly get together, but if you think that you will jus tbe waiting & you'll never get over him. I think you should just work on getting over him for now since thats where your at. I think the best way to get over someone is by having no contact at all. When you have contact with your ex while your trying to get over him, at first you think you are starting to get over him, but then you just start liking him again once you talk to him or see him. So you'll just be going in circles from thinking you are getting over him to liking him again. That will definantly be a lot harder for you. Give yourself like a month or 2 where you don't contact him or email him or do anything that involoves him. I know its harder said than done, but that will really help you a lot.

[bleeder]

Hi SilverManic,

 

I do agree with Maggie. Choosing no contact for now may be the wisest choice. It's not easy, but it's best for you.

 

Honestly, I think you should not harbor any thoughts of getting back with him years later. If you do, you might be shutting off any potential partners you might come accross over this period of time. Besides, he may be a lost cause afterall.

 

It is a rough moment for you to get through now, but the main thing is to occupy your time. I hope you would cheer up soon.

[SilverSurfer]

Silvermaniac,

 

Like you, I also wish for that opportunity to get back together with my ex. Some of us on this forum believe that when a relationship ends, it ends for a reason that makes any 2nd chances a waste of effort. "It will end again with the same reason". I disagree though, and believe that with enough space and time to heal, I would reconsider the relationship again if the opportunity arose.

 

To some degree, this does depend on the reason why the relationship ended, and whether you're willing to give it a 2nd chance. but we're talking about a totally new relationship, not a 'patch'. you're going to have to be able to move on without hoping that it will happen, but know that if it happens, you're going to ready to seriously consider it.