Is he a stalker??

[bebeblondie]

I'm not sure where to post this, so I figured this forum is the most appropriate.

 

I've been living in my current apartment complex for over two years. There is a man and his wife who live directly below me, they seem to be in their 60's. The man seems a bit off however he is very nice and when I first moved in we sometimes would engage in a short conversation (i.e. usually something quick about the weather, I am in general not a talkative person) in passing. About a year ago I noticed a lot of the neighbors seem to try to avoid conversations with him, so I did the same especially since I noticed that he is a bit off, and I have seen him walking alone on the street talking to himself. Anyway this past January I was in the elevator with him and he started telling me how beautiful I was and how attractive he found me, I thanked him and he went on to say that he hoped his comment didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I said no it didn't and that I appreciated the compliment (even though in my head I did feel it was inappropriate given that he's married and that I'm young enough to be his daughter). Since then I have seen him a handful of times and I've exchanged nothing more than a hi and bye with him.

 

Yesterday I was leaving the building as he was coming in and he asked if I could do him a favor, I said sure. He said he had written me a letter and that he would like to slip it under my door (I figured since he lived directly below me maybe it was a complaint or something) he then went on to say it was a nice letter and asked me for my apartment # (which I thought he knew since I was under the impression that he was aware that I live directly above him) and my name.

 

Low and behold I get up this morning and there is a letter slipped under my door, it was 3 pages long, and about how he was under the impression that I am avoiding him, and I treat him like an ogre or a bad person. Then he went on to say that his appreciation for me has "crystalized" over the past couple of months yet he apologized for that day in the elevator where he told me he found me attractive since he thinks that made me uncomfortable. These are the basic points of the letter although he rambled on for 3 pages.

 

Just for the record I treat him the same way I treat all my other neighbors and I don't think I have been treating him any different since January. I have told my friends and family about this letter some say he just an old distrubed man, others say he seems a bit obsessed with me to go out of his way to write a 3 page letter to me especially when he claims to be happily married. Obviously if I had a boyfriend or husband I would have them talk to this man, but I don't I am currently single and living alone and I'm pretty sure this man knows it. My father has offered to confront this man and tell him to stay away from me. I guess I'm just looking for opinions on what to do here, thanks.

[Capricorn3]

The man seems a bit off

 

I noticed a lot of the neighbors seem to try to avoid conversations with him, so I did the same especially since I noticed that he is a bit off, and I have seen him walking alone on the street talking to himself.

 

some say he just an old distrubed man,.

When reading the above, I would guess that he definitely is a mentally ill old man, at least to some degree. Walking alone in the street talking to himself would more or less confirm this (imo). Also, it seems all the neighbours are aware of it too.

 

Not sure what you can do about it, but if he continues with the letters and gets "too close for comfort", then you'll either have to confront him directly and tell him to please leave you alone, or let your father handle it (seeing as he offered).

[LightbulbSun]

Telling you you're beautiful when he's 60 is not stalkerish, since even 60 year old men can recognize an attractive young girl.

 

However, the line that he crossed was obsessing over your exchange in the elevator, and writing you a 3 page letter about it. He does not have a chance with you, obviously, and he's acting really out of line...especially for a married man.

 

I wouldn't go jumping to conclusions that he's dangerous, because he wasn't threatening in the letter, was he? On the other hand, he is obsessing...

 

I'd have your father go and have a talk with him. He's obviously not well, and the harassment will just get worse if you don't.

[bebeblondie]

Thanks guys, my father is going to have a talk with him tomorrow.

[Fudgie]

He's probably rather harmless but creepy nonetheless. I've known elderly men, either bored in their marriages or dirty (or maybe both) that act inappropriately toward women and can be quite lewd!

 

He's probably not going to "stalk" you or try to hack into your apartment so I wouldn't worry about that. But he's still inappropriate and it needs to stop. The letter is just totally out of line.

 

Glad you're getting your father involved. He'll put that guy in his place. You may also could have your father threaten the gentleman that if he DOES make small talk to you again, you'll show his wife that cute little letter he sent. If you're lucky, she may be a real hen-pecker and he won't want to induce her wrath, so he'll leave you alone.

[bebeblondie]

He's probably rather harmless but creepy nonetheless. I've known elderly men, either bored in their marriages or dirty (or maybe both) that act inappropriately toward women and can be quite lewd!

 

He's probably not going to "stalk" you or try to hack into your apartment so I wouldn't worry about that. But he's still inappropriate and it needs to stop. The letter is just totally out of line.

 

Glad you're getting your father involved. He'll put that guy in his place. You may also could have your father threaten the gentleman that if he DOES make small talk to you again, you'll show his wife that cute little letter he sent. If you're lucky, she may be a real hen-pecker and he won't want to induce her wrath, so he'll leave you alone.

 

Yes I have seen his wife a couple of times and she is definitely not someone you want to mess with!! My dad told me he will be saying something to the affect of stay away from my daughter or there will be consequences!

[Fudgie]

Yeah I definitely had a feeling there!

 

Your dad will definitely help, I'm sure! Forget the police...what if the WIFE found out?

 

Oh, he'll definitely leave you alone.

[Planet Heart]

The answer is obvious, give a copy of the letter to his wife.

[savignon]

What a creep!! I would definitely have your dad talk to him and maybe give a copy of the letter to his wife, too.

Are you uncomfortable living there? That would creep me out but I hope you feel safe in your living space. Something's not right about him sending you a letter like that. Maybe report it to the Super of the building as well so he doesn't mill around your apartment.