What is it he wants?

[chakel]

I have been "seeing" this guy for about 4 months now. By "seeing" I mean its been a booty call type of relationship. We didn't sleep together til about 2 months of spending time together, which I thought was kind of strange that he would wait, especially since he told me from the beginning that he didn't want a relationship. At one point I did start to develop feelings for him and I told him that I didn't want to be a bc anymore and it would probably just be best if we didn't hang out anymore, eventually I kind of pushed my feelings aside and we started "seeing" eachother again.

 

Whenever I go to his house he's a really big sweetheart, we usually watch a movie, hang out for a bit, without much talking and then go to bed and he drives me home in the morning. The other day we had plans to hang out, we hadn't seen eachother for awhile because we have both been so busy. So after hockey he texted me and said "wanna come get stitches with me?" (He got hurt at hockey) So we went to the ER and ended up having to wait for 6 hours. We ran into some people that he knew while we were there, and the whole time that we were there he was playing with my hair, kissing me on the forehead, and just being really affectionate..Which again I thought was really strange considering we are just each others bc. When we were leaving it was raining and I had worn a shirt that required me not to wear a bra, so I made a joke while I was running that I should have a bra on, to which he replied "i don't care if you don't wear one around me, but if my daughter is around, you should probably wear one" That kind of took me back, hes my booty call..I had never planned on meeting his daughter, and that just didn't seem like something you would say to your bc.

Am I reading too much into this? Or does it seem like he is developing feelings for me?

[Nerdyjock]

He probably has some feelings for you based on all of that. I think when he said he didn't want a relationship, he was relinquishing any sort of strings, so that if something does come up he won't have to break up with you...he can just go.

 

If you're ok with that, then just go with the flow and enjoy your time together =]. If you aren't ok with that, I'd get out now before you get hurt.

 

Basically I just wouldn't want you to bank on the hopes that maybe he will change his mind about commitment. Who knows - he could. But don't plan on it. As of now, he has the right to stop seeing you and responding to you whenever he wants without explanation.

[Capricorn3]

I have been "seeing" this guy for about 4 months now. By "seeing" I mean its been a booty call type of relationship.

 

he told me from the beginning that he didn't want a relationship.

 

Am I reading too much into this? Or does it seem like he is developing feelings for me?

I think you are reading too much into it. For him it's purely a friends with benefits situation. When he wants some, he knows he can come to you and get it. He told you from the outset he doesn't want a relationship. That makes it pretty clear what he really wants (imo). It's easy and convenient, nothing more.

[PoisonIvy]

I'm sorry to go on a tangent, but am I the only one who finds it strange that he cares if you don't wear a bra when you're around his daughter? What? Wait, what? Erm...

 

Okay, sorry, aside from that, I agree with Capricorn.

Usually, friends with benefits is a deeper relationship than a booty call, though, and what you're describing sounds more like the former than the latter. I wouldn't count on progressing much farther, since it sounds like he's pretty clear about his lack of desire for a relationship.

 

I've met the family and friends of a few FWBs, and plan to meet the daughters of a current one. It's not weird at all to me, since I enjoy a friendship with them. It doesn't mean that there's progression to another level, though. We each just get some perks and companionship with fewer expectations, if any.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I wonder what his daughter would think about her father getting all lovey dovey with someone in the Emergency Room of a hospital!! It sounds to me like he asked you to come along to the hospital because it is boring sitting in the ER for 6 hours so instead of reading a magazine for 6 hours he had the diversion of showing off to all the ill people in the ER that he is getting some loving. A common mistake women make when they are in FWB situations is reading too much into the actions and words of their sex partner. If he wanted a relationship with you he would ask you.

[amipushy]

I think you should casually bring up where this is all going. You obviously like him a great deal but life's too short to take risks with your heart and waste time on something that can only lead to heartache.

[iBroken]

I'm sorry to go on a tangent, but am I the only one who finds it strange that he cares if you don't wear a bra when you're around his daughter? What? Wait, what? Erm...

 

 

He said he doesnt care if she doesnt wear a bra but she should wear one if she is ever around his daughter

 

When we were leaving it was raining and I had worn a shirt that required me not to wear a bra, so I made a joke while I was running that I should have a bra on, to which he replied "i don't care if you don't wear one around me, but if my daughter is around, you should probably wear one"

 

OP, it definitely sounds like he is interested. Perhaps he is one of these guys that doesnt want to put a label on it?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

He said he doesnt care if she doesnt wear a bra but she should wear one if she is ever around his daughter

 

 

 

OP, it definitely sounds like he is interested. Perhaps he is one of these guys that doesnt want to put a label on it?

 

I wouldn't necessarily conclude that. I would think he probably just doesn't want his daughter to see a woman he is hanging around with with her breasts bouncing and nipples showing through the fabric. That's a natural reaction for many men to make sure their daughter is sheltered. So, for example, he might not have a problem having a woman as his uncommitted sex partner but when his daughter grows up he would be very upset at the thought of his daughter being the FBuddy of some guy who just wants her for a good time.

[iBroken]

Im confused with your post....it almost sounds like you are expanding on my point about his daughter and the requirement to wear a bra?

[waveseer]

Don't guess, ask. Nobody will protect your heart except you.

[PoisonIvy]

He said he doesnt care if she doesnt wear a bra but she should wear one if she is ever around his daughter

 

I wasn't confused about the OP's meaning; I was being facetious. That said, I feel that people should not tell each other what to wear (or not to wear) in any given situation. That's controlling behavior. Beware of this, it's a red flag.

 

If you really want to know if this will progress somewhere else, ask him. Given what you've written, I'm afraid I don't see it. Then again, I don't know the situation or either of you, and things can change at any time.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I wasn't confused about the OP's meaning; I was being facetious. That said, I feel that people should not tell each other what to wear (or not to wear) in any given situation. That's controlling behavior. Beware of this, it's a red flag.

 

If you really want to know if this will progress somewhere else, ask him. Given what you've written, I'm afraid I don't see it. Then again, I don't know the situation or either of you, and things can change at any time.

 

There are certain situations where it is warranted to tell someone what to wear..we don't live in a vaccum and clothes should be appropriate for the occasion. It is quite appropriate for there to be a request to wear a bra when around the guy's daughter whom I assume is underage.

[Ms Darcy]

You should talk to him before you start reading into it.