3 years for nothing =( please help

[MsDexter]

Hi,

 

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me today over religion "God wanted him" to end our relationship because I am not a Christian. We were perfect together up until he started going to these meetings with some of his church friends. I have no idea what to do so many emotions.

[misssmithviii]

I'm so sorry you're going through this...

 

Obviously he wasn't as serious with you as you thought because he wouldn't so quickly throw away the relationship over your religion or lack thereof.

 

Then again, if this is something he just realized he could not come to terms with, then I have to say it's a blessing in disguise that he broke it off sooner rather than later.

 

Those are the two ways to look at it. Either way, this is terrible and I'm sorry. But keep your head up, and stay strong. You don't need someone in your life who will so easily toss you away... you need a man who accepts you for who you are, who is COMPATIBLE with you - and there IS one out there honey... hang in there

[MsDexter]

Thank you!

 

I know he is hurting as well because I could tell it wasn't easy. I just feel like he is being told what to do how to live his life. And he decided to end all we have to look good to those people. I am not sure if he actually did it for his "faith" But thank you very much for the nice comments much appreciated

[Onegirl]

He sounds like a very confused man. And I am so sorry that he used God as an excuse to break up with you. My advice would be to go no contact.

[MsDexter]

Yeah I have a feeling he has been brainwashed. We had this very same issue when he started going church at the beginning of the relationship because some of the members didn't approve and I asked if he wanted to break up he was so sure he could make it work until he started spending days and days with them. Now apparently God told him it's the time to end it.

[Keyman]

First, you spent 3 years with him and are three years stronger and more understanding because of it. We learn from every experience. It was not a waste of time as you are more prepared now than you were before for the future.

 

At the beginning of the relationship he had concerns that you weren't right because of your religious differences. That he put himself more and more into the church is something that he has decided to do. I personally don't think he was brainwashed at all, just following the path that he has always desired to follow. However, that "God told him to break up with you" is a flimsy and easy out of the relationship. if he felt that your paths were too different because of the religious ethics, he should have just stated that.

 

Remembering that the jewish religion preferes to marry within the religion as do many other religions, his feeling that the differences in religion is to much to hand especially if he is wishing to focus more of his time there. So, the only thing that I can find wrong with the situation is the petty way her broke up with you.

 

From here, I would suggest moving on and trying to begin the healing process. Yes, it is going to hurt for some time for both of you, but it would be far better to limit your contact to aid moving forward.

 

Sorry this has happened and make sure you keep us updated with your feelings and processes as you work through this break up. That's what we're here for!

[MsDexter]

Thank you and I do understand that if I thought that he broke up with me because GOD himself wanted him to I wouldn't be as hurt as I am thinking it's something to do with people around him that he is trying to please in church because these same people have told him before to break up with me if he thinks it's not going to go anywhere but instead he decided to be with me for another 2 years so I have a feeling this time the pressure got too much and he put them before me. One of them even said they are proud of him. That he is done it. So ...?

[Gath]

Hi,

 

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me today over religion "God wanted him" to end our relationship because I am not a Christian. We were perfect together up until he started going to these meetings with some of his church friends. I have no idea what to do so many emotions.

 

I'm very sorry you had to have that happen to you. I had a GF break up with me because I wasn't christian once as well. Try not to let it make you jaded. It's also possible he may come to his senses at some point, but its doubtful. Religion can have a very strong influence on people's minds, especially when its also their social structure.

[pumpkinmoon]

Hi,

 

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me today over religion "God wanted him" to end our relationship because I am not a Christian. We were perfect together up until he started going to these meetings with some of his church friends. I have no idea what to do so many emotions.

 

Ugh. Not to sound disrespectful but it makes me mad when religion is the reason to break things off with someone, esp after 3 years.

 

I'm not a believer, but don't they say, we are all God's children?

[Onegirl]

Thank you and I do understand that if I thought that he broke up with me because GOD himself wanted him to I wouldn't be as hurt as I am thinking it's something to do with people around him that he is trying to please in church because these same people have told him before to break up with me if he thinks it's not going to go anywhere but instead he decided to be with me for another 2 years so I have a feeling this time the pressure got too much and he put them before me. One of them even said they are proud of him. That he is done it. So ...?

 

I am in the same boat but opposite. My ex broke up with me because he's being brainwashed by people in the church to marry his previous ex whose a Sunday Christian. So I totally relate to you.

[Onegirl]

Ugh. Not to sound disrespectful but it makes me mad when religion is the reason to break things off with someone, esp after 3 years.

 

I'm not a believer, but don't they say, we are all God's children?

 

Yes we are all God's children and religion is usually just an excuse to break up. God is all about relationships.

[MsDexter]

Ugh. Not to sound disrespectful but it makes me mad when religion is the reason to break things off with someone, esp after 3 years.

 

I'm not a believer, but don't they say, we are all God's children?

 

Exactly. Where is the compassion, the understanding :S

[MsDexter]

I am in the same boat but opposite. My ex broke up with me because he's being brainwashed by people in the church to marry his previous ex whose a Sunday Christian. So I totally relate to you.

 

Ah I am sorry! I mean if they can have this deep relationship with God and have faith in him why is it hard to do same with people? It's like they like to make their own misery to feel like they have sacrificed things for God I know he loves me but I think he feels like because it's hard to do to leave someone you love if he does it God is going to like be happy with him or something. I can tell he is trying to live by what Jesus did as they believe he sacrificed his life for them so he has to sacrifice something for him. He told me how he wants to be an example to young Christians and being with me wouldn't be setting that example and when I told him I feel that is like choosing others over me he said it's not but I mean come on it feels that way to me!

[MsDexter]

I'm very sorry you had to have that happen to you. I had a GF break up with me because I wasn't christian once as well. Try not to let it make you jaded. It's also possible he may come to his senses at some point, but its doubtful. Religion can have a very strong influence on people's minds, especially when its also their social structure.

 

Sorry to hear that. Yeah I know but I don't think I could really be with someone like that again. I mean if we were ever to get back together it would never be the same again this has damaged a lot of things, my mother who loved him like her own son doesn't really want to see him again. I gave up a lot for him I barely talk to some of my family members (they didn't approve of our relationship as he is black and I am white) but all I did doesn't seem to be much when it comes to him and his relationship with people in the church.