Is this normal...?

[jenna-is-here]

Is it normal to still be crying every morning and every evening at Week 9 of NC & breakup?

 

(4+ yr relationship/lived together/he didnt want to get married & moved out) early April.

 

I read about others moving on and in better frames of mind by this time. I am afraid I am not making progress and am swirling around in the same pool of thoughts over and over.

[FootofGod]

Every morning? I'm not a doctor, but that seems excessive. Seek help, it may have just been tough, but it may be clinical depression, which is nothing at all to be ashamed about. There are many great ways to help depression, and sometimes these major things can trigger long-lasting chemical imbalances. Like I said, be safe. See a doctor. Don't be ashamed.

[JusticeLaw9]

Is it normal to still be crying every morning and every evening at Week 9 of NC & breakup?

 

(4+ yr relationship/lived together/he didnt want to get married & moved out) early April.

 

I read about others moving on and in better frames of mind by this time. I am afraid I am not making progress and am swirling around in the same pool of thoughts over and over.

 

I think the dynamics of your breakup are a lot harder considering where you've been. Four years is a lot of time to just walk out on a person; guy decide he didn't want to do it anymore, didn't want to be married and 'poof' gone like it's magic. That's rough and I think you're entitled to all the grieving, tears and healing that you may need for a little while. So I don't find that to be abnormal at all. Thank you for sharing.

[katyg79]

I am still crying every day if it makes you feel better infact i have just been to the doctors and had a really big cry it made me feel better!! if you need anyone to talk to let me know big hugs x

[alamina]

I think crying is good, as it releases all the anxiety. I went through a period where I couldn't cry, even if I was severely depressed and all those bottled up emotions gave me panic attacks.

 

There is no ideal frame of time to get over someone. Everyone reacts in their own unique way. Are you taking the necessary steps to heal, though? Are you active and busy? Or do you hide away in your free time, refuse invitations to social gatherings, etc.? That could definitely prolong the pain.

 

Never feel ashamed of seeking help. Sometimes things affect us so hard, that we need more than just time. Time alone cannot always help, because time moves SO SLOWLY for the broken hearted. Breakups are often quite disturbing, and require therapy in order to speed up the healing process.

[uncomfynumb]

Honestly, I think your age might have something to do with your emotions. I think there is more to what your feeling than the breakup, because you are also thinking about your future and that is very personal to you as well. I mean, I think I read that you wanted to start a family?

 

I'm not sure what you believe in but sometimes we don't get what we want, but we get what is best for us. When we let go of our desires, especially for earthly things and live in the moment and accept with graciousness the things that we have, we find the joy that we've been missing.

[Im Steph]

Hi Jenna,

I'm at 1 month after break up of a 6 year relationship. Kind of similar to yours, because he also made the decision that he didn't believe in a future for us anymore, was not in love anymore. We had acknowledged that a distance between us had been opening up and we needed to put time into figuring us out, but his decision to cut it off and not try anymore felt sudden to me.

 

I am still crying everyday as well, in fact multiple times. And the thoughts still seem constantly about him, things we did, places we went, even though I actively try to do and think about other things. There are just far too many memories and connections to him. I try to be happy about everything we shared, we will always have that. We both changed each other's lives.

 

I agree with Alamina, that after counting on someone for years, there is no time-frame for your healing. Just keep letting it out when you need to, write here, and take steps to build yourself up again and remember who you are. That's what I'm trying to do at least! It is the hardest experience I have had in my life.

[hater13]

i was only with my ex for 4.5 months (officially)

 

it's been 2.5 since NC and I still cry...

 

maybe there is something wrong with me

[jaylh25]

Hey I feel for you. I was with my ex for 6 years and 18 months after the break up I still have days where im incredibly sad. Dont beat yourself up over it, its entirely natural. 2 months after 4 years of a loving relationship is nothing. It does take time but it does gradually get better..it may not feel like it now but you just have to trust the process and try to keep yourself busy.

 

take care