Will my NC work? Worry vs Strong

[so-lost]

Today is my NC Day#2 I am a gal and my bf dumped me as he says he has no time for me and he needed space. Asking me to find a better guy who can be here for me 100% and all other BS he told me. But I have a question, hope you can help me.

 

Before this breakup, we did have a 10-day "cool off period".Coz again he said he needed "space" and need only few days to think over things. I told him, I am generous enough to offer him 10 days, how's that? And I told him we will meet on his birthday to hear his decision. So deal! It was a NC and I was SO strong to keep it 200% NC. My goal

was only to look fwd to hearing from him on his birthday and also I use this NC period to learn how to bake cupcakes for his bday and also cook steak.

 

24/7 I'd be checking my cell hoping to get his text but of coz..NONE. I have done so much preparation during NC and on the 6th day..to my surprise I got a text from him!!!! He did NOT make it to 10th day. His text: "Are you doing ok?" I broke the NC rule by immediately replied back "I miss u" Anyway he requested to meet immediately the next day and we patched up.

 

He told me he was worry about me coz he knew i'd be and am very sad.

 

My question here is, based on so many NC theories and also what you said above, exs will more likely to call back when they found we have moved on and doing perfectly fine. We're no longer self-pity. I would like some opinions from you guys based on my story above...will my ex BF feel that if now I have moved on during this real breakup and that he will just...not return?

 

Coz last time during the "10-day cooloff period" it seems that he texted me back coz he was worry about me and he KNOWS I was very sad and again that was NOT even breakup. It was cool-off NC only.

 

Please advise.

[FrenchFries]

If he "has no time for you" and has encouraged you to find another guy I honestly think that would mean that he's not intending to come back. Sorry. It happened to me too. People don't just give their lovers away like that, unless they are over the relationship.

 

Whatever the case, just remain NC and focus on healing yourself. No one can say what the future holds.

[FootofGod]

No one can say what the future holds.

 

This is the biggest thing of all. Don't count on anything. I know it's hard not to speculate, but just resist, or at least let yourself know that it's in vain. This time is for you to work on you, learn to love yourself. Anything could happen from here, but you're not going to make any progress by thinking about what might be and what might've been.

 

NC isn't a "theory" as much as it is a tool. Sure, it's related to push-pull theory and all that jazz, but the truth is it is a tool for you to learn that you are strong by yourself, that you don't need the other person, even if you desperately want them to be a part of your life, and that you can heal and live your life to the fullest. These lessons aren't "maybe"s. You have to learn them, rather you want them back or not. If you're not past the breakup and fine on your own, you're definitely not ready for a relationship with that person again, and usually reconciliations that happen too fast are bound to fail quickly. That's because neither of those people heal and learn to love themselves - it's just a codependent temporary fix, and once one person gets their fix, they split again.

 

Go live life, look at cute boys even if you're not ready for a relationship again, pick up hobbies, surround yourself with friends. Go learn how special you are. Be happy with your life without them and if you're not, fix it and be proud of the progress you make! At that point, you'll turn and go "I love myself and my life is awesome. If that person doesn't want me to share it with them, they're the ones missing out."