He does not want to be with me. He does not think I'm worth another chance.

[mylovemyway]

Spoke to the ex today. We've been broken up for a month now, on NC or LC. I sent him a love letter last week, basically telling him how much I love him and the strong connection I feel towards him and how I wish to have him in my life again someday. He told me he was moved by the letter and we'll talk about things when we get a chance. We finally had a chance to talk a few minutes ago. He tried to cut the conversation really short. I'm trying not to overanalyze things, but basically all he had to say is that the relationship is not gonna work out because he does not trust me. He claims he does really like me but because it's not gonna work out we need to move on. He made it clear that he does not want to be with me. I am not worth another chance.

 

I need to keep repeating this to myself: He does not want to be with me and he does not think I am worth another chance. That is all I need to know to move on. I've already professed my love for him in my letter, but he obviously does not care enough. I'm not important enough to him. He's made his decision; Let him go.

 

I hate this feeling. I never want to love again. I guess I can choose not to love him anymore. I made a choice to love him and now I am going to choose not to love him anymore because he does not deserve it. He does not love me or think I am worth another chance, and I need to give up.

 

Give up.

Let go.

Move on.

 

Why is it so hard to accept? I am a pretty young woman and I will have no trouble finding a new boyfriend. I just worry I will never find someone I will have such strong feelings for again. I've never liked someone so much in my 26 years of life. I thought what I had with my ex was so special but I need to accept that he does not feel the same way. I need to believe that I will find love again. I will find someone who will want to be with me, and thinks I am worth a chance.

 

My heart is completely crushed. I have to completely let go, and I have to believe that I will heal.

 

I will make the decision to not love him anymore from this moment on, because he does not love me back therefore he does not deserve my love.

 

I do not love you anymore. You won't be hearing from me again. Goodbye.

[pumpkinmoon]

Why doesn't he trust you?

[Citlali]

Everyone always thinks they will never again find anyone for whom they will feel so strongly. Not true. You can and you will. Like you said, you know now how he feels and that's all you need to know to move on. So do so. It'll pass.

[mylovemyway]

He's been cheated on in the past and there were things I did in the beginning of the relationship before we were exclusive that he cannot get over. Also, he is neurotic... He's had anxiety issues since he was a child. He's very paranoid and terrified of getting hurt. I posted about our relationship about a month ago.

[nutbrownhare]

Well done, you, for taking this on board, having the courage and the honesty to swallow it and being prepared to move on.

 

This must be pure hell for you at the moment, but you are keeping your dignity whilst accepting your heart is completely crushed. But it will mend, and it will come back stronger and wiser. I'm guessing you are feeling that the heart has been ripped out of you, but remember that this will pass. And if you let the anguish take over, don't try to fight it, let it invade you like an army, do all your crying and grieving - it will pass more quickly.

 

You had the courage to profess your love for him; you were true to yourself. This is more important in the long run than his response to that. You have loved, and you will love again; you have proved yourself capable of it.

 

There will come a time when you look back on all this, and it will seem like a bad dream. Trust yourself, and trust your own process.

 

(((HUGS)))

[mylovemyway]

Everyone always thinks they will never again find anyone for whom they will feel so strongly. Not true. You can and you will. Like you said, you know now how he feels and that's all you need to know to move on. So do so. It'll pass.

 

Is this really a common phenomenon? Or could he really something special, possibly my soulmate? Logically I know there's probably no such thing. But my heart keeps telling me otherwise.

[pumpkinmoon]

I think everyone thinks like that. It's prefectly natural. That was the hardest thought to deal with when I was going through it.

 

Healing is the first thing on the agenda though here. After a while, when you have come to accept what has happened, you will start to feel excited about the prospect of a future with someone new, even if you haven't met them yet

[Citlali]

He's been cheated on in the past and there were things I did in the beginning of the relationship before we were exclusive that he cannot get over.

 

Before you were exclusive? What is he complaining about then?

[CatsMeeoow]

You know the toughest thing is rejection.

 

You may be head over heals for this guy and see how perfect your future could be with each other but the key point is if he doesn't feel the same there is nothing you can do to change his mind.

 

That's the hardest lesson to learn... had to learn the hard way myself. No matter how much you try to tell someone how good you are together and you even slip in some of their very own words to seal the deal it ultimately just causes them to completely shut you out. No one likes to be told they are wrong... its right up their after rejection...

 

One thing I've learned is that you never want to end up with someone you had to "convince" they should be with you.

 

You are on the right path... you recognize that you need to let go... at least for now. Who knows what the future will hold. I had some guy I would have given anything for to come back 2yr ago but now that he finally did... well I moved on... and I'm better for it!!

 

Hugs... it really will be alright!

[mylovemyway]

Thank you, thank you. That is solid advice. I've never been the one to be anyone's doormat... i don't want to have to convince someone to be with me.

 

Can you please tell me the story of the guy that came back 2 years ago? Stories like that sometimes bring me hope... hope that if things are "meant to be" they'll happen, and hope that maybe I will move on.