He said I'm too good for him

[Pirouette]

I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, but I know ya'll folks will give it to me straight on this situation.

 

I've liked this guy for a while. We met through dance classes. He's invited me to go rock climbing with him on several occasions. We were never more than friends, even though I had a major crush on him for the past four months.

 

About two months ago, I told him I liked him and wanted to spend more time with him. He didn't want to pursue anything with me because he knew I was looking for a serious relationship, and he's just looking to hang out and have "fun."

 

Okay, so I backed off for a good six weeks, but last week I started a new dance class and he was there. He asked me if I wanted to grab a bite to eat with him and hang out. So we did, and had a great time. I ended up inviting him to my place to watch a movie, and we ended up having a crazy make out session. He wanted to have sex with me, but I just wasn't ready and said no.

 

Then it became pretty apparent how different our approaches to sex are. He just wants to have casual sex, and I don't. I prefer to wait for marriage, but I will be intimate with someone if I think he loves me.

 

A couple of days later, I asked him about how he felt about me after a dance social. He told me he liked me but he didn't think we would be a good match because I am more religious and I'm looking for a serious relationship. He, on the other hand, is not as religious, has lots of friends who are girls, likes to flirt, likes to drink, recently got let go from his job, and has some health problems. Not to mention he lives with his parents.

 

He said he wants to get his ish together and thinks I'm too "straight" and too good for him, and he can't understand why I like him.

 

Should I bother explaining why I like him or just let it go and forget it?

[SocialStigma]

I think you should let it go. Neither of you will be happy in a relationship if you don't have the same "end goal" in mind. He wants a casual hookup it seems, while you want a serious relationship and to wait at least for love. It's not going to work because eventually you will just feel pressured to have sex to satisfy him (even if he doesn't purposely pressure you).

[Kinkz]

Yeh i think you should let it go too. He seems a bit vain too, because he wants reasons for why you like him, a bit like an ego-fill thing going on.

[TakingtheBlame]

I say let it go. Do you think, in the long run, you'd be happy with someone who isn't religious and has a completely different value system than you do? I myself am an agnostic and I've had major ideological battles with religious guys I've dated in the past, even ones with whom I got along amazingly on a general personality level.

 

Just another thing to consider.

[arwen]

If he's just after casual sex and a no-strings-attached kind of thing... I think you can save yourself a lot of trouble if you let him go. First of all, when someone says YOU are to good for them, they are probably right. Second, it is clear that you have different goals in mind. Don't give up your own values for someone who doesn't share those with you.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I ended up inviting him to my place to watch a movie, and we ended up having a crazy make out session. He wanted to have sex with me, but I just wasn't ready and said no.

 

He knows you want a relationship, says you are too good for him and yet still tried his luck with you. I would say he is absolutely right, you are indeed too good for him. I would throw this guy back into the sea and look for someone more worthy of you who is looking for a real relationship, not a hookup.

[LifeGoesOn09]

He knows you want a relationship, says you are too good for him and yet still tried his luck with you. I would say he is absolutely right, you are indeed too good for him. I would throw this guy back into the sea and look for someone more worthy of you who is looking for a real relationship, not a hookup.

Mm maybe but saying she wanted a relationship may have just killed a whole load of attraction for her. Come on think about it?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Mm maybe but saying she wanted a relationship may have just killed a whole load of attraction for her. Come on think about it?

 

If wanting a real relationship kills the other person's attraction then they were not really attracted to the person in the first place...it was just a conquest to them.

[Pirouette]

If wanting a real relationship kills the other person's attraction then they were not really attracted to the person in the first place...it was just a conquest to them.

 

I know this thread is long since dead, but you guys were right. I was so wrong about this guy on several levels. I really duped myself. I should have just hung it up when he told me he didn't want to be with me. Oh, well. Another hard lesson learned.

[arwen]

I'm sorry girl. That sucks. Are you ok? You really deserve better than this.

[Unreasonable]

Religion is NOT something you want to tangle with in a relationship. I mean, it's one thing to be of two different christian denominations, but a fairly devout christian and an atheist? Recipe for disaster. This will lead to ALL sorts of disagreements.

 

Don't bother. You are not "too good for him," you are too incompatible. And he's letting you know that.

[Puddincup]

When someone says you are too good for them, believe them. Sorry he strung you along.

[erbncat]

Yeah sounds to me like he wanted a bonus friend, too many men out there like this.