Penis Envy :(

[Takemethere99]

Hi everyone I am new to this forum. There are a lot of things on my mind though and this is one of the ones that bugs me a lot because I feel it is effecting me from being happy

 

As you can already guess by the title of my post I have penis envy. I'm like in the just average range, I'm 6' long and about 4.5' thick. It's not so much the length that bugs me as it is the girth because it is true I hear girls talk about it all the time that thickness is what matters. I'm 22 years old so am stuck with what I got and I have accepted it but it still makes it difficult for me to be sexually active.

 

I don't do one night stands and all the girls I end up liking I get intimidated because their good looking and in my head I keep thinking if I slept with any of them I would become a laughing stock. The worst part is some of these girls I like are from where I work and I flirt with them a lot because I'm a flirty guy, but just friendly flirting nothing dirty. Not because I can't be flirty in that way but because I'm scared that it would maybe get to that point where we sleep with each other and then I become the talk of the work place and all her friends about how small I was

 

It really sucks for guys like me to be happy with ourselves when we constantly have to fear being humiliated for being born not as well endowed as other men. And I'm not a bad looking guy and I do have the ability to pick up women just every time I get close to one I get scared to go any further because that's always running through the back of my mind.

 

I wish I could say I am amazing in bed but the truth is I am not very experienced at all because again of my fear. The last girl I was with I still get paranoid thinking she's probably told all her friends and they've all laughed about me. So I not only have a small penis but I'm also not very experienced in bed and women don't like guys who suck in bed especially that have a small penis sigh

 

I really don't understand why the world is the way it is... It really shouldn't matter about the size but the sad truth is more and more everyday it is becoming something that girls look for in a guy.

 

Well that is my rant for the evening feel free to leave me some feedback, it would be greatly appreciated

[Lamour detruit]

Are you serious ?

 

your length and width are not bad at all. Stop being so insecure about a thing that doesn't effect you in any other way except for you making it hard for yourself. You honestly are going to feel down in the gutters just because you overheard girls talking about width ?..trust me, most girls don't know what the hell they are talking about in terms of size..if they see a 6 inch penis, they think they're looking at a seven incher. Forget about all these things you put in your mind..seriously..that is the only problem here, because no girls in their right mind would make fun of such a thing. If they would, one..they have no idea what they're on about and two, they are not worth your time at all.

 

My advice: get over it. This doesn't make it hard for you to be sexually active at all. You make it hard for yourself. Once you get over the mental block, you'll notice it's all in your own mind.

[DreamerGirl27]

OMG...dude...I am a virgin so I don't technically know what I am talking about, but the guy that I like right now has talked a little bit about being "inexperienced" and for some reason he thinks he is horrible in bed and I would give anything to crawl in the sack with him...lmao sorry to be blunt, but I am like in love with the dude.

 

You're not gonna be a laughing stock and I'm sure whoever you are flirting with is dying for you to make a move. Again, I am a virgin, but your size means nothing to me. In fact, I prefer really skinny guys over big butch guys. I never quite get the idea of people breaking up with people because they "test drove" the car and didn't like something. Great sex is in the mind, not the pants. If you love someone, you can have mind blowing sex no matter what.

 

Again, I am totally inexperienced, but this is what I truly believe. If anything isn't working out you can always work out the kinks (no sexual pun intended there...) and talk about what you like and don't like.

 

In other words, what I am saying is...

 

GET OVER IT AND PUT THE MOVES ON A GIRL YOU ARE INTERESTED IN FOR PETE'S SAKE!!! If she really does tell all her friends, she is a b**** and not worth your time then.

[Takemethere99]

Ya I agree she is a b**** for telling her friends but that still wouldn't change the fact that I would now be embarrassed and probably would not want to show my face to the world again...

[KeepMe]

Cheer up, things could be a whole lot worse for you. What you have isn't even bad, and the experience thing; pssh that doesn't ever matter! Honestly, the only partners that I have had have been virgins. Like you, I don't sleep around, I find someone that I like that I know I will be in a steady relationship with. That being the case, I fall in love with the person, and since I love the person it doesn't matter what it's like.

My ex was actually an 8 1/2, I'm not a suitcase down there so it really took sometime getting use to. I stayed with this 8 1/2 incher for four years, the one I lost my virginity to. Even when we were active I was usually left sore, and when we took breaks I would close back up and I would have to get re-use to this thing.

 

Though sex was great with him, things of course came to an end. Months later I found someone new, dated him for awhile, found he was a virgin. Knowing that he had no experience at all definitely didn't stop me. I respected the fact that he was 22 and still a virgin, and had the confidence to tell me this upfront, and no lies. He firmly told me he was a virgin, and that he just didn't find the right person yet.

I fell head over heels for this guy, I fell really hard. Before I ever dated him I knew I loved him. I had to make this guy love me, regardless! The first time we had sex, he barely got my bra off. After three minutes fooling around with the clasp he ended up getting it off. When going for it, I noticed he wasn't as endowed as my ex. I could tell a difference, but I loved him and that's all that mattered. I didn't care what his penis size was, it didn't matter to me.

 

I'm telling you, girls talk. It's what we do, but I'm also telling you girls are not as shallow as you think. When a girl can fall for a guys personality you can usually have them wrapped around your finger. If you charm them enough, they will be head over heels for you.

So point is, don't worry about it. Charm them, pursue a girl that you like, let her fall in love with you, and then when it's time to give her your trouser snake, I know for a fact she will be pleased. However, you can't keep beating yourself up for something that isn't even a big deal. Read up on average penis sizes, and you'll see you stack up to majority of guys. Have fun, enjoy life, and if girls don't like it ... move on. Don't waste your time any longer. =)

 

Good luck!

[GoneCrazy]

i'm sure your doing much better then me...hope it somewhat helps

[jonny15]

Your penis is average.

 

I'd kill for your size in both length and girth.

 

Plenty of women would be fine with a 6 incher.

[jonny15]

I noticed he wasn't as endowed as my ex. I could tell a difference,

 

Your not helping matters by saying you could tell a difference.

[Arabella314]

size isn't important, it's how good u work it

[MD Geist]

KeepMe I think has given you the best advice.

 

It could always be much worst for you.

[OptomisticGirl]

It's not how much you have, it's what you do with it.

[generaldiscord]

My English isn't the best, so i had to look this up to be sure:

link removed

 

Penis envy is freudian myth stating that women are jealous of men for their organ. It's also subconscious, so don't you try to deny it, ladies!

 

Now I'll go all psychoanalytical on you, sir. You are worried about your lack of experience in the sack, and you are focusing that worry on a completely adequate piece of your anatomy. Since confidence in your member is vital for racking up experience in the sack, your misaligned worry cycles back into your general lack of confidence in a never-ending vortex of doom.

 

To end things on a cheerier note: Don't think about it. Next time you're making out, focus on making her happy. Make her moan and groan using every available digit, and when she is pleased, be selfish and use her body to make you satisfied. Sex is not like throwing hotdogs down a hallway no matter what the size of the equipments at hand; it's an emotional and physical dance through pleasure.

[Weirzbowski]

I'm new here. So hi everybody! Penis size threads, yes!

 

So, yeah. I know how you feel, man. I've been long haunted by various feelings of inadequacy, and I don't really know exactly where they came from - no girls making fun of me in particular or anything - and it's been something I've had a hard time getting past. I always felt like (and to some degree still feel like) I was disabled in a way, and I hated thinking that what I had in the pants region was this universal flaw and I had to seek out a girl who would be willing to look past it. In other words, I felt like even if a girl loved me and wanted to be with me etc., she would always be disappointed by it on some level, even if she could look past it.

 

The best way I can think about it is that the penis, and the way people view it, is very much culturally impacted. It's an insult to say a dude is small, heroes are always well-endowed and villains are always comically tiny, so on like that. And just like men are taught "6'1 supermodels with blonde hair and 34D breasts are the best," women are taught "men with big pecs and six-pack abs and large penises are the best," and in a way, a lot of them probably think that. A lot of them probably would say they want a big penis, but I don't think, for the most part, that whole idea really means anything. I think it's just an idea, and it has very little value in real life scenarios.

 

For example, I tend to be attracted to very small girls. Not skinny, really, but short girls, very short. When someone asks me "what sort of girl are you attracted to?" that's the first thing I say. I dunno why. Whatever. But my ex was quite tall, and not once did I think "this is not my ideal. I wish she was shorter." I liked her how she was, and even though she wasn't technically my ideal, I was never disappointed, never wished she was different, never really even thought about it.

 

And Jonny15, I think KeepMe is just being honest. It'd be patronizing if she said she went from an 8.5er to something inches smaller and didn't even notice. I hate to bring up the whole "penis size vs. breast size" thing, but if I went from a girl with Ds to a girl with Bs, I'd notice. But I honestly wouldn't like one better than the other. Noticing isn't giving preference, it's just being observant.

 

So sorry this is so rambling. But I can relate, and I know how hard it is to accept when someone says "it's no big deal, nobody cares." I think that girls generally think guys are kind of ridiculous for being so obsessive about it. A lot of times my insecurity comes from my female friends saying things about which BF was the smallest or how big is this guy on TV or something like that, and I wonder why they would say such things in front of a male friend, and I believe it's because they really aren't thinking about it as a serious issue. It's a non-issue to them, like saying "this guy has brown hair," and unfortunately, because of our culture, it can be ammunition against someone, but almost all the time, in real life, nobody cares. Most girls aren't blonde 34D supermodels, and most guys aren't six-packed horse-men, and I don't think that means most people are disappointed with their partners.

 

I guess what it really means is that the media as a whole is our enemy, and everybody would feel a whole lot better if we destroyed it. Anyone up for a torch-wielding mob?

[Weirzbowski]

I double posted and I don't know how to delete it! First message FAIL!

[freeadvice]

Dude you got an average one its going to be fine in most cases. Don't let this ruin your life... try to take control of your insecurities. Fact of the matter is you can do anything about it. If there was a magic wand you could wave to increase the size of your penis I'm sure 85%, at least, of men would do it.

 

Thing is your a good looking guy who is admittedly scarred about hooking up because of your normal penis... I dunno all I can say is good luck hopefully you'll stop worrying about things you can't change and enjoying what you have. These girls your passing because of your insecurities are probably hooking up with other people similar to you... people who don't care what girls thing about the size of their junk.

[jonny15]

And Jonny15, I think KeepMe is just being honest. It'd be patronizing if she said she went from an 8.5er to something inches smaller and didn't even notice. I hate to bring up the whole "penis size vs. breast size" thing, but if I went from a girl with Ds to a girl with Bs, I'd notice. But I honestly wouldn't like one better than the other. Noticing isn't giving preference, it's just being observant.

 

Saying it isn't helping anything.

 

Basically what she says was that the other guy was better because it was bigger, but the other guy was fine because she loved him.

 

She didn't say it was different because the bigger one hurt.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Saying it isn't helping anything.

 

Basically what she says was that the other guy was better because it was bigger, but the other guy was fine because she loved him.

 

She didn't say it was different because the bigger one hurt.

 

I think your immaturity is more of a turn off for woman than what size your penis is. Seriously, what do you want her to say? I hate to break it to you, but not all above average penises hurt. It's like expecting a man to say that perky boobs are less visually pleasing than saggy ones. Of course they're not, but some men don't care about saggy ones either because they really like their partner and everything about her.

 

OP, I don't think you have anything to worry about and it's probably all in your head. If you really care about what girls might say, then have a better screening process and sleep with the ones you can trust.

[jonny15]

I think your immaturity is more of a turn off for woman than what size your penis is. Seriously, what do you want her to say? I hate to break it to you, but not all above average penises hurt. It's like expecting a man to say that perky boobs are less visually pleasing than saggy ones. Of course they're not, but some men don't care about saggy ones either because they really like their partner and everything about her.

 

OP, I don't think you have anything to worry about and it's probably all in your head. If you really care about what girls might say, then have a better screening process and sleep with the ones you can trust.

 

I never said they hurt.

 

And I am not being immature about this at all.

 

Sayin you can tell the difference is simply saying that the new guy doesn't feel as good.

[Takemethere99]

Thanks everyone for your input. I really do wish it wasn't something that bothered me so much because I would have no problem getting laid. It's a brick wall in my way that I need to tare down and get over I guess...

 

I also have a question, is it true if a girl is with a guy who was well endowed and then starts going out with a guy who is a lot smaller then her ex was will she not feel the other guy as much? Like will she have become too use to having a well endowed penis that sex would not feel as good with a lesser endowed penis?

[Lamour detruit]

Thanks everyone for your input. I really do wish it wasn't something that bothered me so much because I would have no problem getting laid. It's a brick wall in my way that I need to tare down and get over I guess...

 

I also have a question, is it true if a girl is with a guy who was well endowed and then starts going out with a guy who is a lot smaller then her ex was will she not feel the other guy as much? Like will she have become too use to having a well endowed penis that sex would not feel as good with a lesser endowed penis?

 

Obviously not all penis sizes feel the same. This is just a fact, especially with big differences. However that doesn't necessarily have to translate to the bigger size feeling better. If she has feelings for you, I highly doubt anything about her ex will be on her mind, and all that will be occupying her mind is you. If you're sexually compatible, it will be as enjoyable as can be, regardless of size. If you mean physically, no the body does not have to get used to it. Mentally, I highly doubt it unless perhaps in extreme cases.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Takemethere99, you should work on your confidence a little bit, dude. You are average - look it up. 6" is dead average, and 80% of men fall between 5 and 7". Nothing to be ashamed of. Don't beat yourself up and let girl talk from a size queen or two rattle you. I've overheard this type of gossip a few times, but it was always regarding someone like 3-4" or less. I still thought they were b****'s. I was thinking about making a snide comment about their breast size, but I was raised to be courteous and respectful, and wasn't about to drop to their level.

 

KeepMe gave you great advice. And I didn't take it that she missed 8 1/2 at all. She said she noticed the difference, but she also said how it took quite some time to get used to it. I read that as it must have hurt for a while until she did. There's nothing wrong with being average in certain areas - especially where there's nothing you can do to change anything. Instead, concentrate and work on perfecting the areas you can change.

[Devchonka]

size isn't important, it's how good u work it

 

I am kind of surprised by how insecure you are. Great size is relative. So if a girl at your office tells everyone you have only one, small, testicle you'd never go to work either? Act like it's not true and it becomes not true. People lie all the time.

 

BTW.....you're not tiny, youre average, just like millions of other men...and they seem to be doing just fine. It's all in your mind.

[benb]

Mine is almost the exact same size in both length and girth. I've been with about 10 women in my life. Not ONE of them ever had a problem with my size. Sure, some had been with bigger and many had been with smaller (MUCH smaller), but they all seemed incredibly happy and excited when they first felt it and I never had a problem getting them off. No one ever laughed, pointed, looked disappointed, or asked me "who are you going to please with that thing?"

 

If you're like me, one problem you may have is that you're really pretty small when flaccid. Yes, this DOES suck and it means that you will forever be a little embarrassed in locker rooms, but you know what? It doesn't matter when it counts. If you're incredibly attracted to the girl, chances are she won't see it when it's flaccid first, but when it's hard. You'll be fine. Growers unite!

 

In the end, your size is almost exactly average. Now I know you want bigger... so do I. MOST guys want bigger even if they're already pretty big. I guarantee you there are guys with 7-inchers that think all the time about how they wished it was 8. Meanwhile we'd love to be them! We're all pretty silly, that way. I guess the point is that you're not a guy with a 4-incher or a micropenis. You're not even on the small side of average. You could have it much worse. Be thankful you don't and get on with life.

[Takemethere99]

Hey everyone thanks again for all your input really appreciate it. Benb that's exactly it with me too I look really small flacid it does suck and I have small testicles too so I don't show much of a package

 

But anyways you guys are right I need to work on my confidence and not care so much about things I can't change. I will like to let you all know that I did get that hot girls number today at work and we are suppose to be hanging out with a bunch of people this weekend so I guess wish me luck everyone

 

I just really hope this doesn't turn into a nightmare

[vaporleak]

One girl could look at your penis and be amazed, another could just shrug, it's life. You have to accept yourself... but penis enlargement is only about 4 grand, I know bc a good friend of mine had it done.