He gets mad because I'm not available

[Dako]

To a guy who risks rejection to ask a woman out, it may seem simple and childish to a woman judging him. To a man who feels rebuffed, it's another matter.

 

Show some empathy, and you might discover a good man or a child. Throw him a bone.

Take a chance. As he did.

[Belle]

Message received Dako. I'll give it some thought. Not sure what to say though.

[Iakasot]

Say you don't wanna see him anymore, think he'd be able to change how you feel with words? I doubt it. You'd be like "No, I saw this red flag, now he's gone".

 

Sorry, I meant to say that, I didn't proof read and didn't realize I messed it up until you responded to it. I hope you got what I was trying to say regardless.

 

My perceptions come from being uneasy about a lot of double standards in relationships. I've been burned by girls, even though objectively speaking, I was the one with less flaws in the relationship, and they've admitted to this. I see this a lot among my friends and other people too. I just don't see why the burden is always on the guy to "not mess up". If that's the case, then isn't it not a fair relationship to him? I have a lot of M.E. friends and they're all good guys. The guy you're dating seems to be too.

 

Just the whole picture of you being the one with the prejudice and him the one being dumped... There's something wrong with it. I don't know for a fact that he has less flaws, but it seems like it's like a classic case of the person with less flaws suffering more. I sort of have an eye for those types of stories. I hope you don't dump him, but if I had to make the call and bet on it, I'd say you will. Old habits die hard, but we all wanna become a better person regardless. I hope it works out.

[JusticeLaw9]

Anyone mature and in the workforce ought to understand that sometimes it gets a little busy in life. You guys only been dating a few weeks, yet he's treating you like it's been a few years... hmmm.. I don't know, you might've dodged a bullet there.

[Belle]

Iakasot,

 

I'm not sure I agree with you on your last post. It remains to be seen if he has fewer flaws. I think you are projecting there. And he wasn't dumped. If you recall, he's the one that rejected me and withdrew.

 

My reservations are based on how I've seen a few other women treated. It's not something I wish for myself. That is independent of our actions towards each other. In that light, I think I'm still ahead even if I am skittish.

[Belle]

Anyone mature and in the workforce ought to understand that sometimes it gets a little busy in life. You guys only been dating a few weeks, yet he's treating you like it's been a few years... hmmm.. I don't know, you might've dodged a bullet there.

 

It's possible. It does give me pause on how he'll react if he doesn't get his way in the future.

[Sunny1607307996]

Belle, I must say it's quite refreshing for someone to have a question and actually listen to people's responses and take them into account.

[Iakasot]

Withdrawing doesn't equal dumping, Belle. What's closer to dumping, withdrawing and not even considering dumping, or discussing and considering dumping with other people and being 50/50 on it?

[doyathink]

Is he MAD, or just possibly feeling he's feeling brushed off?

I'm currently avoiding a woman who seems too busy for my attention. It's a cowardly way to avoid rejection, but I'm guilty as charged.

 

BTW, I'm a guy.

 

Me too. The one thing I've learned is guard your heart. If a situation doesn't feel right...it probably isnt

[Belle]

We finally ended up talking. I had reached out once again, and he sort of reached out back, hesitantly but remaining somewhat open. I got tired of chasing him and told him I was sorry we couldn't communicate better and he called.

 

He also apologized, and it was sincere. I think he was a little embarrassed at the misunderstanding, and possibly his overreaction. He didn't come right out and say it, but I think he was worried I was giving his date night to some other dude. I suggested if he had a problem, it woudl be better just to let me know cos I can't read his mind. Plus, I think we have different expectations for a brand new thing.

 

Who knows. I think we sort of cleared the air, but he mentioned that he wants me to take the initiative to call him. I don't know how to respond to that, however, since I do not chase men. I guess we'll see. I'm glad I tried something different though. I'm learning better at how to put someone at ease to talk to me when they have a problem. A year ago I would have just gotten fed up and moved on.

 

Thanks for the different perspectives.

[Sunny1607307996]

Hope everything works out for you .

 

It sounds like his initial reaction was not that great but your talk seems to have been very mature, airing things out and laying down expectations.

 

Who knows? Maybe it'll work out. Either you way you learned something from it.