Should I delete ex off FB

[Betty79]

Wasn't sure where to post this but I broke up with my ex quite a while ago now...about 9 months. We didnt even go out for that long but I really liked him and we seemed to click. However a few months down the line he wasnt ready for a relationship and I didnt want casual so we split.

 

Anyway I deleted him off FB more or less straight away but we still kept in low contact, he would text or email me now and again and we even met up a few times. After Christmas I added him back onto FB as thought I felt better about things now and I do.

 

The thing is I cant help myself checking his page all the time, looking at who he has been talking to etc. I have tried hiding him from the newsfeed etc bit I always break in the end. Another thing is we aren't really proper friends, he hasnt treated me the best in the past and now if we are in touch he is quite sarcastic (although that is his personality). The most recent contact we have had is a text from him rubbing it in about my team losing a sporting match. I replied (although prob shouldnt have) and asked a question at the end and he hasn't even bothered to respond.

 

I mean it doesn't necessarily hurt me looking at things on his fb but it is just unhealthy and I feel urggghhh is this the sort of person I want as a friend.

 

I do kind of want to delete him but I will also miss having that little glimpse into his life. I mean he will be gone completely then. What should I do?

[Catdancer]

Delete him. Move on.

[fLuiD]

Without reading your post, yes you should. You should also block him so that he sees nothing you post on mutual friends' walls and so that you don't see anything he posts either.

[Thx]

These are always hard, but I'm going to say delete him and move on Betty.

 

It will indeed hurt to look at his profile.

 

I have a real problem moving on too, so I know how hard it can be, but taking away opportunities to re-visit him is a definite must-do.

 

Thx

[iBroken]

We should sticky a facebook thread

 

Delete him - I didnt read the post either.

 

Unless you amicably split up with your partner and are equally content with being friends, delete, NC, delete, NC.

[Betty79]

Thats the thing its not so much about what I see on his FB page, although it is unhealthy to keep looking. Its more to do with the fact that he is a bit of an a*s and I just feel if he's going to text me and I reply back asking him something then at least respond if we are going to be friends..dont just ignore me!! I know he doesn't owe me anything but just think its really disrepectful...

[shoegirl]

Delete him.

 

It took me three agonizing months to delete my ex. I used to check his page at least 30 times a day. I cried looking at his pictures, pathetic. Felt so much better afterwards. And he got all sad because I deleted him ...aren't we friends anymore, he asked. Very superficial of him, considering there was NC all this time. Anyway now, eight months after breakup I still search for him from time to time, just to see if he has changed his profile pic. I just couldn't block him. Didn't want to seem that I care so much, I guess...the truth is I still do, but I don't want him to know.

 

In any case, Delete is the best option.

Go for it. You won't regret it. I promise. You will feel relieved.

 

Shoegirl

[iBroken]

Thats the thing its not so much about what I see on his FB page, although it is unhealthy to keep looking. Its more to do with the fact that he is a bit of an a*s and I just feel if he's going to text me and I reply back asking him something then at least respond if we are going to be friends..dont just ignore me!! I know he doesn't owe me anything but just think its really disrepectful...

 

Have you texted every friend that you added to FB and who removed you later?

 

People add people to facebook and then delete them all the time. I dont get why people get their asses bent out of shape.

 

Just delete him and if he texts you about it, be honest that you are doing this to heal blah blah blah

[Brigadoon]

Hey Betty; I remember you from a good while back and YES you definitely need to delete him off facebook. He's one of those "leave the door open and give the chain a good yank occasionally" guys.

Don't give him the satisfaction of rising to it. Seeing what he's up to is only keeping you stuck in the mindset of him being in your life so you actually need to delete him if you're ever going to get over it. Go press that remove from friends button and show him the door just closed.

[Betty79]

Have you texted every friend that you added to FB and who removed you later?

 

People add people to facebook and then delete them all the time. I dont get why people get their asses bent out of shape.

 

Just delete him and if he texts you about it, be honest that you are doing this to heal blah blah blah

 

No im not worried about him texting me about it at all...if you read my post above I was talking about him texting me now at the moment whilst we are still friends on fb and him ignoring me...

[iBroken]

My bad - I scanned through it and saw a** and text and assumed you were worried he was going to text asking why you deleted LOL

 

Reading pwns iBroken

[Brigadoon]

Hey Betty; I remember you from a good while back and YES you definitely need to delete him off facebook. He's one of those "leave the door open and give the chain a good yank occasionally" guys.

Don't give him the satisfaction of rising to it. Seeing what he's up to is only keeping you stuck in the mindset of him being in your life so you actually need to delete him if you're ever going to get over it. Go press that remove from friends button and show him the door just closed.

 

As a show of moral support I just went onto facebook and blocked my ex!

So anything I can do you can do better lol

[dont know]

I deleted my ex off of facebook less than a week after the breakup. She texted me asking why and I didn't respond. Havent heard from her since, but I have been healing really well since. If I were you I'd delete/block/whatever to get him out of your head even if you don't have feeling for him.

[Betty79]

Thanks everyone, it looks like the consensus is to delete him then!!

 

I guess the hard part is to crack on and hit that button now. Then he will be gone for good. I miss the old days where you didnt have these problems. You split up with someone and perhaps you might bump into them once or twice very ocassionally but the majority of the time you didnt see or hear from them again!

[Betty79]

As a show of moral support I just went onto facebook and blocked my ex!

So anything I can do you can do better lol

 

Hi Brig, you're great Thanks so much for your posts. So you have blocked your ex...does it automatically de-friend you when you block them or is it just they cant see your wall etc?

 

Funnily enough he is also Irish Brig...very charming and an accent to die for, lol xx

[iBroken]

It defriends them

[Betty79]

I did it everyone!! I just pressed the button, lol and now he is gone. Time to move on. I dont think I will be hearing from him again so hopefully it wont be too hard. Hope I have done the right thing, going to be weird, but who cares what he's up to eh!!!

[Brigadoon]

So you have blocked your ex...does it automatically de-friend you when you block them or is it just they cant see your wall etc?

 

Funnily enough he is also Irish Brig...very charming and an accent to die for, lol xx

 

When I met my ex he was using bebo and he wasn't on facebook by the time we broke up so we weren't connected.

Your question reminded me that you don't have to be friends to message someone so that was why I said actually I'd better block him so that as I am not planning on replying to texts he won't be able to message me that way.

He has been texting me for about four months behind the back of the girl he left me for and I humoured him mainly in the hope that we could sort something out with regards to my son who had come to see him as a father. So that's four months of drivel and stupid "how r u?"' texts and nothing about the child he encouraged to call him dad.

I know that his girlfriend doesn't trust him in the slightest and goes through his phone and his emails so I was surprised that he hadn't used facebook to talk to me by now.

I couldn't find either of them on skype when I went to block them so I'm assuming she has already done that.

Obviously as I could find him she hasn't gotten access to his facebook and I didn't want him to try that way thinking that it would be much safer for him than the texts he's been sending me. He can be very persistent and I know that when he realises that I'm not responding he's going to flip and practically start stalking me so that would probably have been how he would have done it so thanks for that!

 

As to does it automatically de-friend them, I'm not sure but I think so.

I do know that if he types my name into the search engine on facebook I won't show up. I think that it also hides my comments on mutual friends pages, but i'm not sure, as either he hasn't dared to send friend requests to our mutual friends or else they've ignored him lol.

If he googles my name I will show up but as he would have to sign in to message me that's not going to be a problem.

I will admit that I took extra special care when taking profile photos for facebook and twitter as I know what he was like with his exes before me so I guarantee that he is regularly googling my name lol.

 

Irish men can be very charming but the culture here seems to make them quite uncommunicative and difficult in relationships; mind you that could just be the ones I've met!

 

Take care and let us know what happens when he gets in touch again

[britomart]

He's not a friend you want to have at the moment. It's ok.

[Betty79]

Thanks for posting your story Brigadoon, you have actually helped me loads with deleting him Its been 3 days now and I have been away for the weekend with friends. I dont miss it at all, I dont actually care what he is doing and if he ever wants to contact me again well he has my phone number and email address. Like you say facebook is not the only way. Its like a weight has been taken off my shoulders now and I can get on with my own life without having to worry about messages popping up telling me what he is doing or how much fun he is having xx

[Brigadoon]

Thanks for posting your story Brigadoon, you have actually helped me loads with deleting him Its been 3 days now and I have been away for the weekend with friends. I dont miss it at all, I dont actually care what he is doing and if he ever wants to contact me again well he has my phone number and email address. Like you say facebook is not the only way. Its like a weight has been taken off my shoulders now and I can get on with my own life without having to worry about messages popping up telling me what he is doing or how much fun he is having xx

 

Yay! You're very welcome!

It's horrible when you're doing it; I broke out in a cold a sweat lol.

But then you just feel this sense of relief that you don't have any "will he/ won't he" in the back of your mind BECAUSE HE CAN'T!!!!

[hater13]

I had a lot of problems with facebook as well when my ex first broke up with me, he never deleted me which confuses me to no end.

 

After a month and a half of nc he finally deleted me, I was going to do it but I didn't want my ex to think it was bothering me. I didn't want him to think that it was hard for me to have him on my friends list lol didn't want to give him the satisfaction

[Onegirl]

I deleted my ex's fiance's mother off facebook. She was a friend but I didnt' want to see the posts about their upcoming wedding. It's only been 6 weeks since he broke up with me and I'm tired of hearing how its God's plan.

[unistudentuk]

Sorry to hijack this thread but i didnt want to start another one the same subject.

 

We both agreed to have time apart, few months at least but also agreed in the future we would like to start again and get to know each other properly. I am moving on nicely now.

 

The reason i want to delete her is not because of anything i find on her facebook. Im past the stage where that bothers me. i have only been on there twice at most. Im tempted to delete her because of the possible message it sends out. I want to show her im getting on with my own life but i dont want to damage us anymore that we couldnt even be friends in the future which is why i cant decide

[mr. dd]

I deleted my ex off FB pretty much right away. She had a very private profile so there was no real potential to "stalk" for me. I had a fairly public profile, and she was constantly looking at mine. That bothered me for some reason so I blocked her after a few months. That was a great move because I can no longer see her posts on mutual friends walls, or pictures she is tagged in. It's like we don't exist to each other.