mr. dd

Day 1. I am starting over, although since I must see her in a few weeks for a wedding I will have to restart again after that. But in the meantime I am going NC for those few weeks. She broke NC after 10 dedicated months to not talking, since the day we broke up. Asked me if I wanted to go out for a beer or something. I thought about it for awhile, and responded with a nice friendly email and said sure, I would like to meet up for a beer. She has ignored me since then and has yet to respond, so I somehow doubt i'll be getting that beer with her ever. I guess i'm on like day 5 or something really, but today is the day I will stop checking my email obsessively looking for her response and waiting to hear from her.

A couple years me and my 5 best friends (the 6 of us are all guys) all lived in a place together when we were in our early 20's. At one point we've all been in serious relationships (2-4 years for each) that ended in breakups. 4 out of the 6 ended in getting back together! Of those 4 reconciliations, 2 ended in breakups again (no chance of getting back together for a 3rd time, I can guarantee you that! It's for the best) and 2 are still together even after the breakup. The two that ended up in breaking up for good after the 2nd attempt were cases in which the guys were dumpees, and then the girl came back to work things out, the guy tried, but ultimately switched it around and became the dumper. Basically they just lost interest over time and after having their heartbroken. As for the two that are still together, actually the guy was the dumper and he went crawling back to the girl (not really crawling though). The first one was a heated, emotional, brief breakup, but I have to give credit to the VERY patient girlfriend/dumpee who worked things out with the guy. The other was a long, 1.5 year seperation, they were in LC, but ultimately they both needed a lot of growing up to do. Like I said, we were (and basically still are) in our early-mid 20's. Not sure who here believes in the quarterlife crisis, but i've seen that play a huge role in many breakups. The second still together story, the couple are in the early stages (4 months or so of being back together), but I wish 'em well. I am SHOCKED how much the guy has matured over the 1.5 years apart with his girlfriend. As for the 2 that never resulted in reconciliation, 1 of them was me and the other was a guy who was the dumper. In that situation 2 years after that breakup the dumpee/exgirlfriend hasn't moved on at all, it is sort of sad to see her like that, because the guy basically despises her at this point. (that part wasn't meant to be inspirational, just kinda true) Also, a few months ago another one of my best friends got back together with his ex. She actually left him for her ex - but once she found out he had sort of moved on and got a hotter girlfriend she realized what a horrible downgrade her ex was and went back to John. Not an ideal situation in my opinion, too much jumping around from boyfriends, but as an outsider somewhat close to the situation I can see that she was very genuinely confused and not in a good place, she claims she just made a huge mistake and hopes to make it right this time around. In my experience reconciliations can be quite common. Some work out, some don't, but they definitely happen. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a couple who has been together for 10+ years who haven't separated at some point (ignore our grandparents for a second - I think in their generation once a couple married or got serious - that was it, mates for life). I recently asked a guy who works in my lab, and has been with his wife for 15 years (only 2 married though) if they had ever broken up for any amount of time. He told me they seperated for 2 months and didn't talk and basically hated each other for those 2 months - so much bitterness between them, but here they are now, basically the happiest couple I know. That was over 10 years ago.