Is this the same thing as porn?

[mfan]

sorry - title should be "Is this the same thing as porn"

 

There have been many threads about "is it acceptable for a woman's boyfriend or husband to look at porn." Some people feel that this is very common and not a major problem.

 

But what if the boyfriend/husband is not into the hard-core superexaggerated type of porn but instead likes to look at pictures of regular (random) women that he finds attractive, other than his wife/girlfriend? Such as women in a feminine magazine, not necessarily even lingerie, just literally regular, pretty women? Is this afforded the same "leniency" as porn, or is it taboo?

 

E.g. is there a rule that if the man looks at porn, then it has to be porn that's wildly different and completely from another universe than his wife/girlfriend? Or is every man allowed to have "his" personal porn that's just whatever he finds very attractive?

 

Thanks very much.

[metrogirl]

I don't see what the problem is with men looking at women in magazines, even if they are innocent like Maxim or FHM.

 

I would venture that the same women that have issues with their men looking at beautiful women in non-porn magazines are probably the same ones that freak out everytime they look at pretty girls on regular tv shows.

[Sanesoul]

Whatever floats his boat...unless it's pics of girls he knows or interacts with. That might make me feel a bit icky.

[Mimori]

Depends on the people involved, as you said, some are more acceptive of porn habits than others. I don’t see harm in occasionally looking at porn-or even magazines for that matter. As long as it didn’t become a distraction and kept him from actually sleeping with me, I would have no worries about it. I understand fully that my fiancé get’s the urge and wants to release, even if I’m not there…Though I think it’s cute he just uses pictures of me, I wouldn’t be against him looking at porn either (as long as it was legal and not too hardcore). But at the same time, I believe that porn gives a person their fantasy that either their partner isn’t interested in, etc. Sometimes even gives them “new ideas” in the bedroom, which is a plus for me!

 

Either way, it depends on the people involved. Some women are against and some are for…Just depends on who you’re talking about… There isn’t a strict “taboo” law that forbids men or women from looking at porn , its really nothing to be ashamed about… Just have to be cautious if you have a jealous partner and be considerate of their feelings about the subject. (If it ever comes up).

[im_the_undead]

if your man looking at any class of porn bother's you and you seriously don't like it...

then no matter how many people tell you "it's okay".. it's really not going to be.

whether he stops for your comfort or not..is another story.

 

 

for my bf looking at other chicks isn't okay..

i don't tell him anything, he just closes his eyes all on his own. lol

guess he's sending me a message...letting me know he'd want the same curtisy from me.

[HouseKitten]

...unless it's pics of girls he knows or interacts with.

 

This is what I was thinking.

 

I have no problem with whatever degree of porn my boyfriend wants to watch BUT if he started jerking off to pictures of an ex girlfriend, or pictures of his female friends, that's not on. At the very least it'd make me feel extremely uncomfortable about them ever hanging out together.

 

But if it were genuinely just a pretty girl in a magazine, fully clothed, sure, though I've never come accross a guy who would rather flick through Heat than Playboy.

[Day_Walker]

I would say that a guys purpose is the same if he is looking at women in magazines where they are clothed although I wouldnt call it viewing pornography.

 

I think that each relationship has to establish what is and what isnt appropriate. My personal view is that I dont have a problem with viewing pornography by any person in a relationship.

[shuttlefish]

If he's looking at it and he's getting a "woody" then its classified as porn. I guess....

[Sparkly Eyes]

Honestly, I think guys that have tons of pictures on their computer are weird. For some reason, I'm more ok with porn than random pictures of women.

[dragon lady]

Hmm...an interesting topic. At first I was inclined to agree with Housekitten. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. There's no reason to have a problem with men looking at women who are not a direct threat (porn), but when it comes to friends or ex girlfriends, there is reason for concern and pictures of everyday women shouldn't bother anyone.

 

Then I started to think about my own boyfriend and how he finds regular hardcore porn degrading to women. He doesn't watch it or look at it at all. He much prefers looking at pictures from that Suicide Girls website, which is supposed to be feminist friendly (though this is being debated). It actually kind of bothers me that he would prefer to look at these "normal" bodied, tattooed & pierced girls because I don't look anything like that and he has quite a few friends who do. Even though many of the models are clothed or in lingerie, I'd rather he looked at the more traditional porn look because he doesn't know anyone who looks like that. So in this case, hardcore wins over softcore/clothed. It's all about the perceived threat for me.

[Organs]

Well, I don't see a problem with either partner viewing any kind of porn, so a Victoria's Secret catalogue is especially fair game as far as I'm concerned.

[dragon lady]

Well, I don't see a problem with either partner viewing any kind of porn, so a Victoria's Secret catalogue is especially fair game as far as I'm concerned.

 

I should add that it's not like I would forbid him from looking any type of porn. Well, except for child porn. I'd be out of there FAST! It's just that the more clothed women make me feel more uneasy in this case.

[getbiii]

you would have to blind fold him, pretty women are every where...

in the streets... billboards, commercials etc...

 

just because you love someone doesn't mean you can't find another person attractive,

its just humane nature and we can't help it and it doesnt mean he doesnt want to be with you,

 

same with women, im pretty sure you can't help it if you see a hot guy in the street but to look twice...

[MarmiteCrumpet]

If he's looking at it and he's getting a "woody" then its classified as porn. I guess....

 

*s * * * * * * *

 

Lots of thought police attitude in this thread. If you make a man feel guilty for doing something that...well...men just do, he will do it in secret.

 

I prefer to take part myself, but hey ho.

[MarmiteCrumpet]

*s * * * * * * *

 

Lots of thought police attitude in this thread. If you make a man feel guilty for doing something that...well...men just do, he will do it in secret.

 

I prefer to take part myself, but hey ho.

 

That is hilarious. The word that was moderated out of my post was "sn1gger$".

 

I've seen it all now

[HouseKitten]

That is hilarious. The word that was moderated out of my post was "sn1gger$".

 

I've seen it all now

 

That'll be the automatic censor, not one of the actual mods. Pretty sure they all know the difference between what you meant and what was censored

 

Never seen that happen before, must not be a lot snickering going on at ENA

[Gath]

While it is important that your boyfriend / husband respect your feelings, not feeling comfortable with him looking at any other girls just seems insecure and irrational.