sortaconfused Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 I'm almost 23, still a virgin, haven't had a relationship in 2 years. I'm about to finish my 5th year of college but I'm probably going to fail all my classes. I have been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety previously. I literally feel like I have no future ahead of me, I have no self confidence and I can't even go to classes when I know that absences are going to make me fail. I never learned how to talk to girls and I'm too clingy and push away every girl that is even remotely interested in me. I constantly have paranoid thoughts and overthink every aspect of my life. I think that I'm going to fail out of college in 2 weeks and I honestly don't know what's going to happen. I don't think I can handle a failure like that... If I can't even get a girl in 5 years of college, I'm never going to be able to out in the real world. Right now I'm self conscious about things that don't even exist, delusions about myself. I needed to prove to myself that I could accomplish something and finish college but I really don't know if thats possible for me. I already feel like everybody is judging me, and if I fail out then I'm going to feel like every positive comment or action that somebody says or does to me is going to be out of sympathy for me failing. I've wasted countless amount of my parents money and got nothing out of it that will help me in life. The past 3 years I've had the same thing happen... I go to a therapist, get to a point where I feel stable, then I get overconfident and stop myself from going anymore. It's easy to say that I should just stay in some kind of treatment but I've said that before and I always end up on this same path of destruction. It's a vicious circle and I really can't escape it. Nobody is ever going to be interested in dating somebody with as many issues as I have... I can't even stand being around myself right now. I lay awake until 5 AM because I can't stop thinking every night then sleep through the day, I'm a complete waste of life. I don't even know what I hope to get from posting this, I just needed to get this out somehow... -sC Link to comment
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