Nice Guys Finish Last

[Dreng3333]

During my 13 years of life I have seen many relationships of every kind between the opposite sexs. And I have made an observation. Nice Guys finish last. This post makes an attempt at explaining why, though we may never know for sure. Consider this senario:

 

The Good Guy likes a girl, but then the other guy gets the girl. But eventually the girl comes to her senses and lives happily ever after with the good guy.

 

unfortunately, it doesn't usually (meaning "ever") work like that. The people that dont deserve the girls, always get them. They put on an act so that the girl thinks that they are a nice guy, when they really are not. And the girl doesn't always come to her senses about it. So the Good Guy, truly being a good and honest person, becomes her friend to get closer to her. And the good guy will be there for her when the Not So Good Guy (NSGG) does something wrong (and he always does).

 

And if she does realize that the guy she is going out with doesn't treat her right, and she breaks up with him, the Good Guy thinks "Hey, now I have a shot." But, no . The female mind does not work like that. She will come to the Good Guy and he will have a shoulder for her to cry on.

 

But by that time, there is no chance for our hero. He is the perfect person for her, but she doesn't see it that way. By this time he has become her "friend", and trust me, that SUCKS. The Good Guy wasn't totally stupid. He wanted to get with this girl. But it wont happen. It never does.

 

Now some of you may be thinking at this point: "Well, why does the Good Guy become her friend in the first place, if he knows that this is going to happen. Answer: He is a GOOD GUY. He wants to be there for a person when they are feeling sad. He wants to be her shoulder to cry on and someone she can talk to.

 

However, because these guys are so few and far between, girls want to hang on to them. And they think that the only way they can do that is by being friends with them. And there is some truth to this theory. However, there is also another side to it. And that is that he would also be the perfect boyfriend. He is kind, honest, a good listener, sympathetic, and maybe even good looking. And because he is a Good Guy, if you were to break up with him, he wouldn't just not talk to you anymore. He would continue to be your friend and a nice guy.

 

But, girls have never and will never see it like that. So in short ladies in gentleman:

 

Girls will always complain that there are no good guys out there, and the perfect guys will always be right under their noses.

[1Adam12]

Interesting theory you can just chalk it up with the rest of them on here..But I still think some girls don't think that way..maybe thats just me

 

Phil

[JonnyG]

Your only 13 mate. U dont know the half of it yet. I made a post about this back in April after my ex went back to her ex .

 

Its not always like this though. But unfortunately it happens much more than it probably should.

[Mix Maxster]

You bring up a good point, I think it has been covered many times, but still a valid one. I understand what you mean, but I think it also comes with having "balls" and if the nice guy were to stand up for it he may stand a chance. You're right though in a sense with the whole he won't get her because she wants a nice guy friend but would be afraid to lose that if she got involved and it failed regardless.

 

Hmmm just thinking about it is got me wondering lol, I mean really if you put up a scenario where a girl gets dumped by her boyfriend and she tells you about it, you comfort her and make her feel good. Then as things get better you think about asking her out and she says she would, but she'd be afraid to wreck the friendship, the nice guy is a little saddened but agrees because he'd hate to lose what they had. No matter how good they are for each other, but it also depends too because I don't think that all nice guys finish last... it's the ones who don't stand up for themselves and go for what they want that finish last. I mean just because you go for it and have confidence does not mean you have to be an a**. Good post though.

[EmmaB]

i no this has NOTHING to do with this subject but 1Adam12 y is ur name adam but at the end of every post u put Phil???? if u didnt want ppl 2 no ur name dont sign it so im rele confused. wana help me out here???

 

xxx emma xxx

[Borashi]

I totally agree with you that nice guys never finish or they finish last so to speak, any girl I've ever gotten was through being assertive. Like my ex g/f for example, I got her by chasing after her even while she had a b/f at the time, I just didn't care, I just wanted to show her that I cared, eventually it worked as she noticed how hard I was trying to be with her. Looking back at all the relationships I've been in, the ones that have lasted the longest are the ones where I was the most assertive, not the ones I just felt comfortable in.

[EmptySoul]

Well, you can't really make the gerneralization that it is like this with every female, but yes, it happens a lot. For some reason, whether we'll admit it or not, girls are attracted and drawn to the bad guys. I like the good guys, believe me, but it depends on how far they take it. They have to be willing to stand up for themselves, and dare to have fun and be outrageous. It's a little different with every girl i guess.

 

EmptySoul

[Dreng3333]

Thats true, there are girls who do go for the Nice Guy. But even so, most of the time, they just treat them as friends, and nothig more.

[Mix Maxster]

as I said before... girls like a guy with balls, but not one who beats everyone up or has to be "macho".... it's ok to be a nice guy, but if you let people walk all over you then you finish last... if you're a great guy, extremely nice and caring, aren't a pushover AND stand up for yourself and what you want, that's what they go for. Not some guy that lets everyone else take everything from him or a guy that sleeps around or abuses her... there has to be a perfect balance

[Ash]

Sorry Mix, you're incorrect. They don't. Nice guys inherently tend to try not to stand in the way. It's not a matter of being walked over, it's a matter of doing what they think is right. And see Mix, you missed the whole point about a nice guy. It's never about what HE wants., it's always about what SHE wants.

 

Message to the Nice Guys - No matter how tough you think it is, don't stop being nice, the world needs nice people. You won't always finish last, somebody will notice one day.

 

And it goes for the ladies too. The nice girls too get treated extremely poorly by the men they try to help.

 

It actually happens on this site quite a bit, you might be surprised to learn. Somebody comes along, asks for advice, it gets given, they treat the advisor poorly once the crisis is over, and they're never heard from again. Male or female, it happens on both sides.

 

But you shouldn't change who you are because of this finishing last perception.

 

Emma - 1Adam12 is from an old, old TV show ...

[nikkinoodles]

hey,

i was thinkin of a way to not to criticise ur opinion, but im goin to anyway, u seen to be saying its all the girls fault, and i totally disagree with that.

first, it would help a bit if the nice guy was more assertive, then the girl would know that he was interested,

and second, the nice guy has also got to be ready to take the risk,

i was nearly involved with a nice guy, he liked me as much as i liked him, i asked him out and he agreed but then he chickened out and was more worried bout our friendship.

oh and there as girls that prefer the nice guys, i am one of them, i thinks that it helps that i consider myself a got judge of character, i seem to be able to see rite through the jerks, and end up being rite, maybe its a gift. lol

im going off the subject so that signals for me to shut up

 

[Dreng3333]

I think I agree with all of you a little bit.

 

Mix Master has some good points that it is important to be assertive, other wise you will be walked on. It is important to stick up for yourself.

 

But Borashi and Ash also have good points in that there are girls, that no matter how assertive you are, they want to hang on to a nice guy by being friends.

 

Also nikkinoodles and EmptySoul make good points in that not all girls are like that.

 

Its interesting to hear so many points of veiw on this subject.

[bleeder]

Interesting topic!

 

I believe that nice guys don't finish last. For women may claim that they want nice guys as partners but give them a year or so and they would be screaming "BORING". Soundlessly of course.

 

I am not advocating guys to be "bad", just that we have to know when to be an angel or a devil's advocate at times.

 

My 2 cents.

[Kaizer_Zero]

Not true at all. I consider myself a good guy. I was there for quite a few friends and they introduced me to my current gf. We were like wow we have a lot in common. I told her I dont smoke, drink, and that I was a virgin. She, unfortunately, was opposite of me on those topics and noticed that I had good morals. I told her that I do crazy stuff, just not stuff that messes with me, and that I just hadn't found the right chick for sex.

 

^^That stuff works if you ever wanna copy it, but I was just being myself and that's all you can do.

[Hannibal]

Well speaking from experience, I seem to always finish last. I do go after things I like (I asked my ex out on a date last week, she turned me down but thats alright) and I still get stuck in the friend zone. It just doesn't make any sense to me that when girls talk about this guy being such a dink to them that they would go for him or even go back to him. I guess it's just the bad boy syndrom that you silly young girls have for some strange reason. Maybe it all relates back into how girls love their drama. I really don't get it myself.

[Scout]

Speaking from experience, it's not necessarily good girls like bad boys, or good guys like bad girls. Actually, reasonably secure people tend to like other people who have similiar interests, beliefs, outlooks, values, etc. that they do. So, the best advice I can give to you that you should carry with you for life is to always STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF. People who are true to themselves are CONFIDENT people, and confidence is the #1 attraction for both males and females.