BellaStranger Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 My ex and I have been broken up for nearly 2 months now... it has been really hard on me and a real roller coaster of emotion- one day I'm up, next I'm as low as ever. NC hasn't worked... as in, not speaking to him is totally impossible.... for both of us, but we have agreed to make an honest go of being friends... even if it's hard right now. I'm not over him, I still love him, I still want him back. Heres the thing... I have a really good friend who lives and works in Bahrain, who has asked me to come and visit for a week at the beginning of June, I haven't been to see him since he moved last year and I really could do with the break and the change of scene. As suggested, this friend is a guy friend and my ex HATED him... he always felt there was more between us than friendship and has even, during the break up, said he has always felt deep down that if this guy hadnt moved to Bahrain, he would have made a move on me and I would have chosen him. This isn't the case at all, I have been friends with this guy for 8 years and although we dated briefly all those years ago, we were always better suited as friends... our relationship was never even sexual, it was that brief! In order to help my ex feel better about this friendship while we were together, because I truly believed he was the one and we would be together forever, I have neglected and ignored my friend for over a year. I feel lucky that he still cares about me and want to be there for me when I am having a hard time. My problem is: do I tell my ex that I am going away to visit my friend? On one hand, I dont owe him anything- he broke up with me, broke my heart and has made it very (painfully) clear that he doesn't want me back. I can do what I want and I dont have to pander to his insecurities anymore. On the other hand, this is going to make him really angry- if there IS any chance that he will change his mind, this will probably kill it, because he will think he was right all along!! It might even stop us from being able to be friends. On top of this- chances are my ex WILL find out anyway, I work at the same company as his mum, sister and step dad- so they are all going to know i've taken time off and will probably ask where I'm going- so if I dont tell them it would involve actually lying and if I do tell them and he finds out from them- it will look like I have something to hide... wont it? OR am I wrong for going at all? Should I need to honor a promise I made to my ex that I wouldn't speak my friend, to make him feel more secure, after we have broken up? Link to comment
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