Mustachio Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 If you have followed me story, I went through a bad breakup about 7 months ago from my first and really only relationship I have been in. So I find myself now without any real experience in dating and pursuing relationships as I was 18 going on 19 when I got together with my ex and I am 26 now and havent pursued any other relationship than the one with my ex which just sort of fell into place. I have tried the online dating thing, and been on a few dates here and there but nothing I have really wanted to pursue until now. There is this girl I have been talking to for a few weeks now, and recently it has come to the point where we have chatted pretty much every day for the last week or two. I went on a date with her on Saturday. Went over to her place then from there we went out for a bit of food and a few drinks, then back to her place where we watched a few movies. It didnt go any farther than cuddling and a couple little kisses. I called her on Sunday and asked her out again, she is coming up toward my area and we are going out to dinner tomorrow, then possibly back to my place to watch a movie. We still continue to chat every day and yesterday I was asking her some questions trying to get a feel for what sort of things she liked to possibly plan future dates and we now have a third date scheduled for this coming sunday to go up to a winery. Well, I really like her, and I have been saying some nice sweet things, and so far she has seemed to respond positively to almost everything I have done. But I am concerned that I might come on too strong and end up scaring her off. Its just been so long since I have felt this way about someone that I just want to go full steam ahead, but again, dont want to scare her off... not to mention that I am not great at reading people so I always worry that I am coming on too strongly and she is just being polite. I dont know, I probably read into things too much. Sorry for the long post, I just want to make sure that my excitement in this situation doesnt come off as needy and clingy and push her away. Any insight will be appreciated. Link to comment
sidehop Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 It doesn't sound like you're being pushy at all, go with the flow, if she wasn't interested I highly doubt you two would be talking everyday let alone going on another date Good luck! Link to comment
mca1975 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Just carry on as you are, everything sounds fine. Don't worry too much. I think you will know if you are being too pushy with the comments. You will be able to tell, then you can back off a little, but she is responding well so far. Don't get hopes up though, could still all fall flat on its face, be prepared for that but don't expect at the same time! Hard I know, lol. Link to comment
Mustachio Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 Just carry on as you are, everything sounds fine. Don't worry too much. I think you will know if you are being too pushy with the comments. You will be able to tell, then you can back off a little, but she is responding well so far. Don't get hopes up though, could still all fall flat on its face, be prepared for that but don't expect at the same time! Hard I know, lol. Oh I am well aware there are no certainties and that this could all vanish as quickly as it began. I just want to make sure I dont do anything too soon or too quick that would be the cause of that. I just get anxious because even though its very early on, I would like to pursue things and probably take it to a relationship level. Just trying to make sure I am not jumping the gun or skipping some steps that may push her away. And I overanalyze things like, is it too much to plan a third date before even having the second one? But then as far as I know she was completely up for it too. Guess I should stop worrying. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 I think you are ok although I think talking everyday is too much. Link to comment
Mustachio Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 I think you are ok although I think talking everyday is too much. Thanks, the talking every day thing just sort of happened and to be honest I actually really enjoy it. Might not be the way things are done all the time but i like having someone in my life to share my day with, even at this early stage. I just enjoy it and hope to turn it into an actual relationship, so the uncertainty at this stage gets me then i start to doubt things and doubt my own actions. Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 hi mustachio, good to see you on the dating forum if you enjoy talking everyday and she enjoys talking everyday, i see no problem with it. It really sounds like you are doing everything right so far! just go with the flow... Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Hey mustachio! Sounds to me like you are going at a good pace. Good to see you back out there in the datin' world and on the datin' forum! Link to comment
Mustachio Posted April 13, 2010 Author Share Posted April 13, 2010 Thanks guys... guess I need to just stop worrying and continue to go with the flow. If it works out cool, if not, well that would suck, but whatever. And yea I have dated around a little bit in the last few months but this is the first time I have actually found someone I am interested enough in to pursue it farther than one date. Luckily most of the issues related to the ex are behind me and hopefully will stay there and I can instead focus on here and the future! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Thanks, the talking every day thing just sort of happened and to be honest I actually really enjoy it. Might not be the way things are done all the time but i like having someone in my life to share my day with, even at this early stage. I just enjoy it and hope to turn it into an actual relationship, so the uncertainty at this stage gets me then i start to doubt things and doubt my own actions. Famous last words But really, there is a reason people say to take things slowly and part of taking things slowly is slowly integrating someone else in your life. Link to comment
Mustachio Posted April 14, 2010 Author Share Posted April 14, 2010 Famous last words But really, there is a reason people say to take things slowly and part of taking things slowly is slowly integrating someone else in your life. Hehe, well hopefully they arent famous last words in my case. I am going to try not to push things past their natural pace, but I am not going to fight the pace either. Its just I was in a relationship from when I turned 19 until just over half a year ago (im 26 now) so I just dont have any experience with dating/forming new relationships and wanted to make sure that on my end at least I wasnt doing anything extraordinarily crazy/pushy/clingy. Anyways, I see her tonight for our second date and I am quite looking forward to it. Link to comment
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