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23 and 18?


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Hey everyone....I'm a 23 year old guy that just graduated college. There's a girl that I've been talking to who is very attractive, but she's just now about to start college. Is me being 23 and her being 18 too much of an age gap? She seems very mature for most of the 18 year old girls I've been around around my area.

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I was 17 when I started dating my boyfriend, who at the time was 22, so same age gap.

We get along really well and I turned 18 right away after we started dating anyway.

 

I don't think it's too big.. but of course I am biased as I am in a relationship like that already and we've been together for over a year.

 

Go for it

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It's not too much of an age-gap at all, but I do have a concern.

 

She is just entering college life and you are about to start a career. You might be on different wavelengths.

 

Just something to think about, but there's nothing wrong with your ages.

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There will be some concerns about time and ethics.

 

You already came out of college = you have already established yourself morals and ethics because you went though tons of different college events. Parting smoking ditching etc..

 

While this chick is going in to learn about herself in college. Basically the girl will be more naive than you.

 

Different wavelengths could results into arguments etc

 

Just a small thought

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I'll be the one to disagree. An 18 year old girl going to college is going to go through a LOT of changes. College is never what you expect. No matter how mature she seems, she still has changing to do. Plus she's about to go into an environment with a WORLD full of new guys, half of whom are going to be scoping out the new 'meat,' and hitting on her. I don't see much hope for this.

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I'll be the one to disagree. An 18 year old girl going to college is going to go through a LOT of changes. College is never what you expect. No matter how mature she seems, she still has changing to do. Plus she's about to go into an environment with a WORLD full of new guys, half of whom are going to be scoping out the new 'meat,' and hitting on her. I don't see much hope for this.

 

I've been with my guy for over a year and we're doing great.. I realize it might not be the same for every couple like that. But in regards to "scoping out the new meat", I don't find it to be an issue at all, and neither with guys hitting on me. Guys will hit on girls of any age.

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Yes, but freshman girls will be entering a whole new world, and all the attention can be an issue; it all depends on the person. Of course people can do fine in that situation. But it can also be a very unsettling time. The OP is speaking generally, so that's my opinion, speaking generally.

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It's not an insurmountable age gap, but there's definitely a HUGE gap of life experience there. I'm 23 now, and I'm almost unrecognizable in terms of personality and interests from when I was 18. College is an extremely formative time and she'll be doing a lot of finding out about herself. There's also a big difference in lifestyle that could be an issue. I recently dated someone who was still in college (a year younger) when I had been working and establishing my career for two years, and we had a lot of lifestyle differences - i.e. he still liked to drink a lot, stay up until all hours, etc., and had a tough time understanding my stress from work.

 

All that isn't to say that it won't work. Just some things to think about.

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Nothin is wrong with that...

My bf is 9 years older than I am...

We have a really gud relationship...

Age is just a number...

Take into consideration the way you feel about her an vice versa...

Gud luck, hope things work out for the best...

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I'll be the one to disagree. An 18 year old girl going to college is going to go through a LOT of changes. College is never what you expect. No matter how mature she seems, she still has changing to do. Plus she's about to go into an environment with a WORLD full of new guys, half of whom are going to be scoping out the new 'meat,' and hitting on her. I don't see much hope for this.

 

22 year olds are still going through a lot of changes too...

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There will be some concerns about time and ethics.

 

You already came out of college = you have already established yourself morals and ethics because you went though tons of different college events. Parting smoking ditching etc..

 

While this chick is going in to learn about herself in college. Basically the girl will be more naive than you.

 

Different wavelengths could results into arguments etc

 

Just a small thought

 

I would agree. I think the 'place in life' concern is a big one and can cause a potential problem. Just keep your eyes open and be prepared. For some reason I've seen a run on guys your age getting dumped by young women her age who need space and want to be on their own. Fair warning.

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For some reason I've seen a run on guys your age getting dumped by young women her age who need space and want to be on their own. Fair warning.

 

There's a BIG reason.

 

An 18 year old girl is still a child. She is still in high school. She is still a CHILD. She has no idea what she wants out of life, and everything she THINKS she wants will likely CHANGE before she hits 25.

 

This is not a criticism of particular people. It is a force of nature based on the FACT that she has not EXPERIENCED 90% of life yet. I have a 19 year old daughter, and she was told she is more mature than college seniors. Yet even she has gone through SERIOUS life changes in the last 8 months of college; 18 year olds simply have not dealt with most of what life will throw at them on their own without mommy and daddy to take care of things. These things are going to SHAPE her. Just like the OP has changed over the last 5 years due to what he has experienced.

 

I'm not trying to say they are destined to break up. But if you look at human nature, and statistics, they have about a 12% chance of still being together by the time she is 22.

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It's not too much of an age-gap at all, but I do have a concern.

 

She is just entering college life and you are about to start a career. You might be on different wavelengths.

 

Just something to think about, but there's nothing wrong with your ages.

 

Yeah, this ^^... Nothing wrong at all about the age "gap". You're both legal, consenting adults... it's just you may have different lifestyles at this stage.

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I have a 19 year old daughter, and she was told she is more mature than college seniors. Yet even she has gone through SERIOUS life changes in the last 8 months of college; 18 year olds simply have not dealt with most of what life will throw at them on their own without mommy and daddy to take care of things.

 

I think you have a valuable perspective as a parent, and I think you have a very valid point.

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But if you look at human nature, and statistics, they have about a 12% chance of still being together by the time she is 22.

12%? Provide a link?

 

 

OP, I don't see why you two shouldn't give it a shot. Be aware though that you and her are at different stages in life and may want different things.

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