Confused after text from the blue...

[Parachute]

Looking for a bit of guidance really... Here's a background as brief as I can put it...

 

Split with my ex in mid December she was the dumper. We'd been together for a year and for the first 6 months things were great. Around the beginning of May I had some doubts about the relationship and went a little cool on her which she picked up on. However I got my feelings in check and realised I did want to be with her and things got back to normal.

 

By mid November things had gone full circle and she was going cool on me in a similar way that I had been. At beginning of December a friend told me she had been unfaithful to me. When I confronted her about this she initially denied it before admitting it was true but it was at the time she thought she was losing me in May. She also mentioned a time when she had spotted me holding hands with another girl and although nothing had happened she believed it would've had she not seen us.

 

We agreed to have a break and keep in touch both agreeing that we thought we could sort these problems out. Two weeks later she dumped me by text saying the usual "so sorry I hurt you, couples can't regain trust, hope we can be friends". I made most of the classic dumpee mistakes to begin with until at the end of january I found out she had a rebound and had been very loosely in contact with him before she actually finished our relationship. I was shocked and went totally NC from that very moment with no explanation.

 

I've now heard the rebound has finished and she is single again. Last Sunday she was in the same nightclub as me and a group of others, we share the same friends. I didnt arrive with her but said a polite hello when she came and sat down with us before I got up quite by accident 10 mins later pulled a girl almost right in front of her. To be honest the ex was the last thing on my mind but she was obviously affected by seeing my with this girl because at 3am she sent me a (drunk) text saying "you really did pik a beauty!". I was surprised to get this text and replied "yea I suppose I did." I the wishes her happy birthday as it was actually her birthday on Monday. Looking back I wished I'd just ignored the text now.

 

Thing is I'm not sure what to take from the text. It was the first text since she finished the relationship and I thought she'd lost all her feelings for me. Looks like she might not have I think she was jealous seeing me with another girl.

 

I think I would take her back but not sure if things are turning sour now as I think she may think I was doing that in front of her to pisss her off which I wasn't.

 

Can anyone give me an outsiders point of view as I suspect my judgement of the situation is not as clear as I would like. I do know we've both been bad towards each other but I do have feelings for her and I believe she has for me. At one point we both loved each other very much.

 

Sorry for any typo's doing this off a mobile phone is not that easy. Hope i've made sense and not rambled too much too.

 

Any advice much appreciated.

[DN]

I would not read anything more into this than a drunken text. If she wants more from you then let her contact you.

[Animelover6764]

when the rebound finished?

 

and don't read too much into it

[Parachute]

I'm sure the text shows she has feelings for me and that she was affected by seeing me with someone else and maybe she realises she made a mistake by splitting.

[HeartGoesOn]

If she's only contacting you because the rebound dumped her or or vice versa, I would give this plenty of thought.

[Parachute]

I'm assuming she was drunk when she texted me as it was 3am and she'd been in a nightclub. When you're drunk your true feelings sometimes rise to the surface.

 

She finished with the rebound after about 2.5 months as he aaas always questioning her about what she was doing and was too nice as far as I gather.

[Parachute]

I feel like contacting her to find out what she meant be the text but I'm not sure that's a good idea.

 

I know she had strong feelings for me before the split and by getting with her rebound didn't get to deal with them properly. Now she not with him she's most likely beginning to feel me as a loss just when I was just managing to move on and feel good again. I do feel it's messed me up a little again. It's not bad like before but you know it's twanged my heart strings again.

 

She's away for a week now so I will think things through and probably contact her to what it was all about. I mean it smacks to me of plain jealousy swing me with another woman and you only get jealous when you want something.

[iBroken]

Dont ask her what it means....if it was really a drunk text, it shows her that you arent over her....the power has shifted from your hands to hers......

 

She might be genuinely happy for you.....she might be jealous. But to be honest, jealous doesnt mean she wants you back. I personally have had a pang of jealousy when Ive learned my ex's met someone new....but I didnt want to go back to them or try again. Its just human nature........

 

Be cool and let her come to you. If she wants to reconcile, she will move water and mountains to make it happen

[Parachute]

I do feel that the power has shifted back to my hands a little now because the text shows she's not fully over me. That's what I'm thinking anyway.

[Parachute]

I'm nor sure that she would move mountains to get me back either. She can be a bit insecure and lacking in confidence sometimes and she might feel she has no chance at all now I'm actively dating other girls (she saw me with a different girl couple of months ago whilst out with the rebound).

 

I'm also worried that things could be turning bitter as I think she thinks I'm ignoring her by not contacting her anymore or speaking much when I do see her.