True love comes when you least expect it

[aurevoir]

Hello, good morning!

 

Do you guys really believe in that saying 'love comes when you least expect it"

 

I'd love to hear some of your stories as well, of how you met that person what it was like, did you expect to spend the rest of your life with them?

 

How come this saying is true anyway?

 

Personally, I think there is someone special out there for everyone!

[BriarRose]

Yes, I think it comes when you aren't looking. But I don't think love comes for everyone.

[HouseKitten]

Yes, I believe this.

 

I think people who focusing all their energy on desperately finding love are far less likely to find it than those who are simply living their lives, doing what makes them happy and meeting people along the way.

 

I met my boyfriend during an extremely light-hearted attempt at internet dating. I didn't expect anything from it, and due to some previous non-starters I'd kind of resigned myself to just having some fun and not meeting anyone serious. Lo and behold, I'm now very serious about him.

[aurevoir]

Yes, I think it comes when you aren't looking. But I don't think love comes for everyone.

 

Really?

Thats an odd thing to say.

Why do you say that?

[annie24]

not really. i think you have to do the work, even if it is to put yourself into the frame of mind to accept love. sometimes i have been doing online dating actively looking for a boyfriend, but wound up meeting one at that time in real life. i think partially because i was in the frame of mind of 'single and looking.' so, i was open to the idea of falling in love, but just didn't expect to meet someone in real life.

[BriarRose]

Really?

Thats an odd thing to say.

Why do you say that?

 

Because many people end up alone. I don't think it was an odd thing to say. I never found love, and I am 45. However, I think MOST people find love.

[shes2smart]

Oh, I was definitely looking when I met my husband. I also knew what I was looking for - "a relationship leading to marriage sooner rather than later." I was 37 at the time. Lemme tell ya, having a clearly stated relationship goal like that is a great screening tool. I freaked out a lot of marriage-phobic and marriage-avoidant men because I had the sheer audacity to say that was what I wanted.

 

That being said, "the search" was not the focal point of my life...nor was I putting my life on hold until I found a partner. I was actively planning practical aspects my life as if I wouldn't meet anyone - financially (figuring out retirement savings, looking into buying a house or condo on my own), legally (drawing up a will, health care power of attorney, living will).

 

It's really kind of silly to think you'll find something if you're not looking for it. And while we sometimes get things we do not expect, we have a better chance of getting that which we actively seek out and prepare for...and, yes, expect to receive. Perhaps a more accurate (but much wordier and not as catchy) way to express it is this: Take the time be clear about what you want/what you're looking for in terms of a relationship....but don't let that be the center and focus of your life. The majority of your time, energy and attention should go toward making your life somewhere you want to be no matter if you are single or coupled. As a side benefit, having a full, interesting life has a weird way of drawing people to you....sometimes even people who might make fine romantic partners.

[annie24]

i love you so much S2S. you're the best!!!

[HouseKitten]

It's really kind of silly to think you'll find something if you're not looking for it.

 

From my point of view, by 'not looking' I mean... I think people who are obsessing over whether they'll ever meet someone are less likely to simply because they give off a desperate, unattractive air. Whereas someone who is happy to meet new people but not too rattled if it doesn't happen right now is probably going to do way better. It sounds like your approach worked for you because you were calm and sincere about what you wanted - it wasn't a 'looking for someone, anyone!' approach, you had criteria

[CaptainNapalm]

I don't believe in that saying one bit. There is always that group of people who by coinsidence meet someone when they're not looking and fail to meet someone while looking. I can assure you that there are just as many people who meet someone when they're looking and don't when they're not looking. The difference is, when you're looking you're always focusing on the fact that you don't have someone and how another day went by without anyone new in your life. When you're not looking however you're completely neglecting all these days, weeks, months, years that you haven't met anyone because you're not focusing on that aspect. If person (a) looks for someone and person (b) doesn't chances are 50/50 that either one will find someone first.

[MD Geist]

I believe its true for the woman.

 

For men its much different, they need to be proactive to find love. No girl is going to walk up to him and ask him out on a date.

 

Thats his job, her job is to wait.

[doesitmatter30]

I dunno. i do notice that every time I find someone I'd use the word love on, it was totally by accident....

[babii doll]

i really hated this saying when i was single. i would usually get these words of wisdom from ppl who were happily involved, so it was easy for them to say 'stop looking and it will come, yada yada'

 

but looking back on it i think there is some truth to it, i had never had a serious relationship and was actively seeking something longterm, once i stopped caring and obsessing over finding a boyfriend, my fiance came along. i wasnt even that interested in him in the beginning lol but he kept pushing for a date that i finally agreed to obviously

 

so i believe in certain cases it does happen when you stop looking, and then there are some who find success by actively seeking (i never did that way)

[Salicia]

Yes, that is one of the phrases that I love to say. Since you also want to hear some stories here's one. About three years ago, I was still trying to get over my ex and I had it in my head that I wasn't going to find anyone else who I could fall in love with like I did with my ex. I was so obsessed with grieving over the break up with my ex that I really didn't notice when my current guy stepped into the picture having feelings for me. Once I was totally over him (which would have been the next year), I noticed him and I totally didn't want to have anything to do with him in that nature because I didn't think that it was a good time for me but he constantly stuck with me and eventually before I knew it, I actually fell in love with him.

 

So yeah, I believe that true love comes when you least expect it.

[Zerohero]

In this currently society. It comes, and goes like the wind....... and women hahahahah.

[SometimesShy]

From my own personal experience ( including 2 LTRs ), love happens randomly.

 

Though I think you can improve your chances by meeting as many new people as you can.

 

If you don't put yourself out there, love may never be able to find you...

[Sac]

my first love and my ex's aswell...none of us knew each other at all!....my friend was chatting her up in a club and i came over to see my friend and we got introduced to each other...then she just wanted to know about me aswell and procceded to talk to me. (shes really outgoing and talked alot!)

 

my friend got her number... i didnt ask for it. then my friend just made out with some other girl on the dancefloor haha...so myself and my ex just became 3rd wheels really lol... she text my friend about 40 mins later after the club shut and he didnt text her back as he had no credit so i did and then the ball got rolling for us there.

 

17 months together LDR. been split for 8 weeks and she hooked up with some other guy 3 weeks after we broke up

 

so from my ONE experience haha...it comes randomly

[Sweetkisses22]

Well I don't know if I'm in love yet, but I am falling and that's for sure. But my boyfriend did come into my life unexpectedly. I had sent him a message on link removed but I didn't hear back from him for a looooooong time. I basically forgot I ever messaged him with my number. Then like a month later he text my phone. I had no idea who he was, I didn't remember him at all until he showed me the message I had sent him. I had just broken up with my ex boyfriend and was devastated. I didn't think I would find anyone good for me, I was just a mess until he came along out of the blue. It was pretty funny but it all worked out in the end because we're together now.

[Hermes]

Yes S2S!!

 

As a side benefit, having a full, interesting life has a weird way of drawing people to you....

 

"Healthy" attracts "healthy".

 

H

[Batya33]

Well I don't know if I'm in love yet, but I am falling and that's for sure. But my boyfriend did come into my life unexpectedly. I had sent him a message on link removed but I didn't hear back from him for a looooooong time. I basically forgot I ever messaged him with my number. Then like a month later he text my phone. I had no idea who he was, I didn't remember him at all until he showed me the message I had sent him. I had just broken up with my ex boyfriend and was devastated. I didn't think I would find anyone good for me, I was just a mess until he came along out of the blue. It was pretty funny but it all worked out in the end because we're together now.

 

Great story! This is one of those stories that can so easily be spun into "least expect it' but I always smile when the story starts with contacting someone through an on line dating profile (or being contacted) because of course the person was actively looking to date/meet or else he/she wouldn't have had a profile up and been in contact with people in the first place. But, then when the actual timing is unexpeclted it becomes a "when you least expect it" story.

[SocialStigma]

Happened unexpectedly for me. I had a huge crush on my current boyfriend's best friend when my boyfriend started liking and pursuing me. We'd known each other and been friends for 2 years already but I always thought he was too immature. When he was pursuing me though, he showed me a sweet and romantic side of him that I didn't know existed and we just clicked on an emotional and mental level that I didn't think was possible. Slowly but surely, I stopped liking his best friend and started to like him. One month after he started liking me, he asked me out. That was 3.5 years ago and we are each other's first loves.

[velvette]

I was not expecting to date in college... was going to wait until I got into the "real world" before ever getting a boyfriend. somehow in the first week I was on campus, before school even started, I became best friends with a guy who'd be in my class later on. we were best friends for quite a while, and then eventually we started dating... now that college is over and we're still dating (both each others' first everythings), living together, planning our whole lives with each other--I'll say it definitely wasn't something we were expecting that night we met! (I only viewed him as a potential friend, and he only viewed me as 'another one of those girls who'll reject him' lol)