ebik Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I really like him and want to see him again today, but is that pushing it? I saw him Friday night, and Saturday he came out with my friends and I. Today I want him to come to a friends birthday with me.. should I ask him? or just leave it? He says he wants to get close to me, but I have been very weary and cautious, now I feel like I have let him in my life, and now I think I'm starting to get insecure and I dont know why! Aghhhh dating is so complicated!! Link to comment
ToF Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Do you mean last Friday and Saturday? Because today is Saturday. If you haven't seen him in a week, then just ask him out. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 if it's been a week, sure, i see nothing wrong with inviting him to a birthday party. Link to comment
ebik Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 no im in Australia.. its Sunday here. I saw him Fri, Sat and now its Sunday I want him to come with me to this birthday, bu worried it may be a bit much.. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 how long have you guys been dating? Link to comment
ToF Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Oh! Haha, good point Did you invite him out the last 2 times? Link to comment
ebik Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 i invited him yesterday (sat) fri it was kinda both our ideas and i went to his place. started dating back in oct, very casual, then he got scared and backed off bout Jan. late feb we started back up again, to see how things would go (after having a few good honest convos) he seems very keen and has told me he likes me and isnt guna run away this time (hense why i was saying i have been cautious this time round) but now i feel like i've let him in again and now im getting scared.. i supose its best to leave it for today, my head says that.. but my heart wants to see him again today. for the last few weeks of seeing him, i've been quite happy to have my space and be on my own, sounds bad but it wasnt even like I was hanging to see him next (but when i did it was always great!) but now i am hanging to see him for the 1st time in a while! I think i got it bad for him! and i sent that in a txt to him last night after he went home. his reply "thanks sexy, gnite"... not quite the response i was after but anyway... hmmm.... thoughts?? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 got scared? what does that mean??? i never get why guys 'get scared.' blah. did you chase him around the kitchen with a butcher knife or something? that to me is scary! Link to comment
addictedblue Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 I think you should let him ask you to hang out this time...you know, make sure he's interested. Link to comment
ebik Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 ok so heres the update on this... I didnt end up asking him to the friends bday, i did however send him a txt to let him know i was thinking abut him. his repy "lol, how did you sleep last night? I had the best sleep ever". I asked him what he was up to today (yesterday) and he said he just got home from his pops and then has to go shopping.. thats it, he didnt ask me what i was up to.. and thats all i've heard from him in almost 24 hours. Now its monday morning and i can already tell his backed off again... going by how he has responded to my txts and also by the fact i still havent heard from him, when i normally would by now.. Right now i am thinking he just loves the chase, he wanted to get close to me, and suceeded, it got too 'coupley' and now looks like his guna run again! Hope this isnt the case but just feels like its heading that way.. call it female intuition!! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 If he runs away again, don't let him run back in after that. Link to comment
ebik Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 I wont! but how wil i ever be able to let anyone in again?? I already was having trouble letting him in and get close to me after a really full on 5y relationship with my ex, i was scared myself of giving myself like that to someone again... he had the whole me, my mind, body and soul, i thought he was the one.. but it wasnt meant to be. i can just see myself ending up being a very lonely person! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 What specifically are you afraid of? How old are you now? Link to comment
ebik Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 new update... i was right.. just got a txt from him saying he has been doing some thinking and thinks that we should jst be mates, he likes me but isnt ready for a full on relationship, he thought he was but he isnt. fool me once, same on you... fool me twice... shame on me!! same as cheaters.. once a comitment phobe.. always a comitment phobe!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 oh ick! and he tells you this over text???? sheesh. what a great guy! forget him and move on fast! Link to comment
ebik Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 i will but like i said above.. its going to be so hard now to really trust someone and let them into my life, and get close to me! its so much easier to be single.. yet also very lonely! Link to comment
ebik Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 i just wana call my ex! how stupid is that! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 give yourself some time and space. No need to call this guy ... he's done. No need to call the ex ... you are feeling sad right now. Take some time and heal. Have fun with friends, take care of yourself, work hard. You'll regain your sense of normalcy soon. Link to comment
ebik Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 yeah i know all this is right and im sure it'll all be ok soon enough, but how am i ever going to be able to listen to anything a male says to me again and actually believe it? He said he wouldnt run this time, he said he wants more than just the casual thing, he wanted to get closer to me and blah blah blah.. all just BS! The wall I have around me just got about 10 feet taller! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 it will just take time. give yourself time to heal and you will be able to open your heart again. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 yeah i know all this is right and im sure it'll all be ok soon enough, but how am i ever going to be able to listen to anything a male says to me again and actually believe it? He said he wouldnt run this time, he said he wants more than just the casual thing, he wanted to get closer to me and blah blah blah.. all just BS! The wall I have around me just got about 10 feet taller! Know this. Feelings change. And I'm sure you can think of a situation where you liked someone or something and then after a while for some reason your perspective changed. You are trying to find someone compatible for you. This guy wasn't. Trying to find that is a multidimensional process. Part of the process is lowering your resistance to it. Not every guy you want will like you back and vice versa. Give yourself time and space to let down those walls a bit before you date again. If you don't, you might push away a great guy. Link to comment
newwave Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 new update... i was right.. just got a txt from him saying he has been doing some thinking and thinks that we should jst be mates, he likes me but isnt ready for a full on relationship, he thought he was but he isnt. fool me once, same on you... fool me twice... shame on me!! same as cheaters.. once a comitment phobe.. always a comitment phobe!! What is it with guys saying that they think they are ready, but they aren't? I hate that. The first time I would have given him space. However, you'd think by now (after all October was 5 months ago) he'd know either way. Link to comment
ebik Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 What is it with guys saying that they think they are ready, but they aren't? I hate that. The first time I would have given him space. However, you'd think by now (after all October was 5 months ago) he'd know either way. Totally! And that is what i did the 1st time, i gave him space, i was pretty much prepared to let it go and even delete his number and off my fb, then he comes back in my life saying how he missed hanging out with me and stuff. I think its just BS, its a cope out lame a3s escuse, typical comitment phobic line!! I'm just angry with myself for even bothering and putting myself back in that situation! Link to comment
newwave Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Totally! And that is what i did the 1st time, i gave him space, i was pretty much prepared to let it go and even delete his number and off my fb, then he comes back in my life saying how he missed hanging out with me and stuff. I think its just BS, its a cope out lame a3s escuse, typical comitment phobic line!! I'm just angry with myself for even bothering and putting myself back in that situation! If it's any consolation (and I'm sure it's not) I knew a woman who heard that from a guy twice, she gave him space and he came around eventually. So it does happen, butother guys use that for excuses. Link to comment
ebik Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 yeah even if he did sudenly get 'ready' i think i would be an idiot to go back there!! Its like getting back with a cheater! and stupid me has done that before too! glutten for punishment! Link to comment
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