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Want to see him again but dont want to look clingy!


ebik

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I really like him and want to see him again today, but is that pushing it? I saw him Friday night, and Saturday he came out with my friends and I. Today I want him to come to a friends birthday with me.. should I ask him? or just leave it?

 

He says he wants to get close to me, but I have been very weary and cautious, now I feel like I have let him in my life, and now I think I'm starting to get insecure and I dont know why! Aghhhh dating is so complicated!!

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i invited him yesterday (sat) fri it was kinda both our ideas and i went to his place.

 

started dating back in oct, very casual, then he got scared and backed off bout Jan. late feb we started back up again, to see how things would go (after having a few good honest convos) he seems very keen and has told me he likes me and isnt guna run away this time (hense why i was saying i have been cautious this time round) but now i feel like i've let him in again and now im getting scared.. i supose its best to leave it for today, my head says that.. but my heart wants to see him again today. for the last few weeks of seeing him, i've been quite happy to have my space and be on my own, sounds bad but it wasnt even like I was hanging to see him next (but when i did it was always great!) but now i am hanging to see him for the 1st time in a while!

I think i got it bad for him! and i sent that in a txt to him last night after he went home. his reply "thanks sexy, gnite"... not quite the response i was after but anyway...

 

 

hmmm....

 

thoughts??

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ok so heres the update on this...

 

I didnt end up asking him to the friends bday, i did however send him a txt to let him know i was thinking abut him. his repy "lol, how did you sleep last night? I had the best sleep ever". I asked him what he was up to today (yesterday) and he said he just got home from his pops and then has to go shopping.. thats it, he didnt ask me what i was up to.. and thats all i've heard from him in almost 24 hours. Now its monday morning and i can already tell his backed off again... going by how he has responded to my txts and also by the fact i still havent heard from him, when i normally would by now..

 

Right now i am thinking he just loves the chase, he wanted to get close to me, and suceeded, it got too 'coupley' and now looks like his guna run again!

 

Hope this isnt the case but just feels like its heading that way.. call it female intuition!!

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I wont! but how wil i ever be able to let anyone in again??

 

I already was having trouble letting him in and get close to me after a really full on 5y relationship with my ex, i was scared myself of giving myself like that to someone again... he had the whole me, my mind, body and soul, i thought he was the one.. but it wasnt meant to be.

 

i can just see myself ending up being a very lonely person!

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new update...

 

i was right.. just got a txt from him saying he has been doing some thinking and thinks that we should jst be mates, he likes me but isnt ready for a full on relationship, he thought he was but he isnt.

 

fool me once, same on you... fool me twice... shame on me!! same as cheaters.. once a comitment phobe.. always a comitment phobe!!

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give yourself some time and space. No need to call this guy ... he's done. No need to call the ex ... you are feeling sad right now. Take some time and heal. Have fun with friends, take care of yourself, work hard. You'll regain your sense of normalcy soon.

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yeah i know all this is right and im sure it'll all be ok soon enough, but how am i ever going to be able to listen to anything a male says to me again and actually believe it?

 

He said he wouldnt run this time, he said he wants more than just the casual thing, he wanted to get closer to me and blah blah blah.. all just BS!

 

The wall I have around me just got about 10 feet taller!

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yeah i know all this is right and im sure it'll all be ok soon enough, but how am i ever going to be able to listen to anything a male says to me again and actually believe it?

 

He said he wouldnt run this time, he said he wants more than just the casual thing, he wanted to get closer to me and blah blah blah.. all just BS!

 

The wall I have around me just got about 10 feet taller!

 

Know this. Feelings change. And I'm sure you can think of a situation where you liked someone or something and then after a while for some reason your perspective changed.

 

You are trying to find someone compatible for you. This guy wasn't. Trying to find that is a multidimensional process. Part of the process is lowering your resistance to it. Not every guy you want will like you back and vice versa. Give yourself time and space to let down those walls a bit before you date again. If you don't, you might push away a great guy.

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new update...

 

i was right.. just got a txt from him saying he has been doing some thinking and thinks that we should jst be mates, he likes me but isnt ready for a full on relationship, he thought he was but he isnt.

 

fool me once, same on you... fool me twice... shame on me!! same as cheaters.. once a comitment phobe.. always a comitment phobe!!

 

 

What is it with guys saying that they think they are ready, but they aren't? I hate that. The first time I would have given him space. However, you'd think by now (after all October was 5 months ago) he'd know either way.

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What is it with guys saying that they think they are ready, but they aren't? I hate that. The first time I would have given him space. However, you'd think by now (after all October was 5 months ago) he'd know either way.

 

Totally! And that is what i did the 1st time, i gave him space, i was pretty much prepared to let it go and even delete his number and off my fb, then he comes back in my life saying how he missed hanging out with me and stuff.

I think its just BS, its a cope out lame a3s escuse, typical comitment phobic line!! I'm just angry with myself for even bothering and putting myself back in that situation!

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Totally! And that is what i did the 1st time, i gave him space, i was pretty much prepared to let it go and even delete his number and off my fb, then he comes back in my life saying how he missed hanging out with me and stuff.

I think its just BS, its a cope out lame a3s escuse, typical comitment phobic line!! I'm just angry with myself for even bothering and putting myself back in that situation!

 

If it's any consolation (and I'm sure it's not) I knew a woman who heard that from a guy twice, she gave him space and he came around eventually. So it does happen, butother guys use that for excuses.

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