ebik

While you did me wrong in the end, part of me hates you and part of me loves you. I know we have a connection but it wasnt meant to be. I will cherish the good times we spent together, and let go of the pain and heartache. I know we wont and cant ever be together again, even if we still share that bond, I realise now that I'm not extremely attracted to you, i think it was more the connection we had that was the attraction, for me anyway. I worry now though that I wont be able to share that kind of bond with anyone else again. I find it hard to let anyone else in. i just dont know where to from here...

I have been thinking about you... do you still think about me? i want to forget... i want to run away... i want for just one day... to be able to lay with you, have you hold me and make all my troubles go away! You use to lift the weight off my shoulders and take me to a better place... i dont know how to get to that place again on my own! i still think about u every day, despite everthing thats happened, i think deep down i do still care and maybe even love you.. I dont know how i am ever going to find that again with someone else...

Mark, I want you to know that I'm letting go. I've had my closure and I've moved on. Now its time for me to let go of all the hate, anger, resentment, hurt and bitterness. It was eating me up from the inside out and it wasnt me. You hurt me more than you'll ever know, and thats why we can't even 'try' to be friends now. But really, you don't deserve to have me as a friend, and deep down I know that it's probably much easier for both of us this way. So I guess everything happens for a reason. I use to think that if I ever saw you in the street or out at a bar, I would probably punch you, spit on you or just flat out ignore you and act like you don't exist. Now.. I'm not sure what I would do, I think it would feel strange to say hi and have a conversation with you, but sometimes I think that it would be nice to one day (even if it's years from now) be able to do that. Catch up on what each of us has been up to and reminise on the memories we shared together for all those years. I don't think I am quite at that stage yet, as I still think it would bring back too many emotions and still confuse us both, but one day, when we have both moved on and are both happy living separate lives maybe that could happen. I looked at the photos of us today, of the book I use to write in about the fights we we had, the birthday card you gave me one year and a note you left for me one day before work. I didn't cry, I think I even smiled to myself a little. It's starting to be less emotionally charged, where I can just look back and remember the good times and let go of the bad stuff. It's all in the past now, so why clog up my brain with bad, unhappy memories. I wonder if you kept the momento's of 'us' or threw them out? I dont think I will ever throw mine out. They are memories, they are apart of me. What has helped make me who I am today. Thats what I believe about our relationship, while we had our ups and downs, I dont regret any of it as without all those emotions, experiences, memories, I wouldn be who I am today.. And i think you would be proud of that person. I am a strong, independent, caring, kind hearted person. And while you will never be apart of my life again, you are apart of my history and what makes me, me. Thankyou Mark for the good years we spent together, for the laughs we shared and memories we made. I hope you never forget me, as I will not forget you, or the time we spent together!

Mark, I want you to know that I'm letting go. I've had my closure and I've moved on. Now its time for me to let go of all the hate, anger, resentment, hurt and bitterness. It was eating me up from the inside out and it wasnt me. You hurt me more than you'll ever know, and thats why we can't even 'try' to be friends now. But really, you don't deserve to have me as a friend, and deep down I know that it's probably much easier for both of us this way. So I guess everything happens for a reason. I use to think that if I ever saw you in the street or out at a bar, I would probably punch you, spit on you or just flat out ignore you and act like you don't exist. Now.. I'm not sure what I would do, I think it would feel strange to say hi and have a conversation with you, but sometimes I think that it would be nice to one day (even if it's years from now) be able to do that. Catch up on what each of us has been up to and reminise on the memories we shared together for all those years. I don't think I am quite at that stage yet, as I still think it would bring back too many emotions and still confuse us both, but one day, when we have both moved on and are both happy living separate lives maybe that could happen. I looked at the photos of us today, of the book I use to write in about the fights we we had, the birthday card you gave me one year and a note you left for me one day before work. I didn't cry, I think I even smiled to myself a little. It's starting to be less emotionally charged, where I can just look back and remember the good times and let go of the bad stuff. It's all in the past now, so why clog up my brain with bad, unhappy memories. I wonder if you kept the momento's of 'us' or threw them out? I dont think I will ever throw mine out. They are memories, they are apart of me. What has helped make me who I am today. Thats what I believe about our relationship, while we had our ups and downs, I dont regret any of it as without all those emotions, experiences, memories, I wouldn be who I am today.. And i think you would be proud of that person. I am a strong, independent, caring, kind hearted person. And while you will never be apart of my life again, you are apart of my history and what makes me, me. Thankyou Mark for the good years we spent together, for the laughs we shared and memories we made. I hope you never forget me, as I will not forget you, or the time we spent together!

how sad celestial, you made me cry! i wonder is this is how my ex feels! i feel so much pain in your post. How can we ever feel love again when we know how much it can hurt when it all goes bad?