How to reject her without hurting her feelings?

[timetogrow]

I am feeling kind of depressed and stressed out thinking of this girl. I know i have no feelings for her who says that she likes me a lot and that i am handsome and physically attractive to her.

 

I have told her before that we'd better stay being good friends but she told me the other day that she couldn't control her feelings and that it would be so painful for her not to love me.

 

I didn't know how to act and told her that we make it a one week trial period. ( which i know is ridiculous)

 

Now i don't know how to tell her that i don't love her at all and it would be nice if we can be friends.

 

Would someone please tell me how to do to let her know i don't love her without hurting her feelings?

 

Thank you.

[DN]

You can't not hurt her feelings but I suggest you say that you are very flattered that she feels about you the way she does but you can't reciprocate them.

[annie24]

i agree. it's not fun, but you just need to tell her the truth. it will hurt her less in the short run. tell her you don't have the feelings for her necessary to have a romantic relationship.

[LLammas]

To be honest, I don't think there's a way to reject her without hurting her feelings. Rejection is painful, there's no way around it. The best thing you can do for her is tell her (in the nicest way possible) that you don't want to continue dating, but you would love to be friends.

 

The ball's in her court once you've said that. One week is a very short time, but enough to raise her hopes. You'll have to step back and let her work through her feelings. Ultimately, she'll have to decide for herself whether or not she can be friends without the distant promise of something beyond friendship.

 

It's wonderful that you care about her feelings, but you have to end it now. Letting it linger will only lead her to believe that the two of you are a couple and you've grown to return her interest.

 

Having been in a similar-ish sitution recently, I feel that directness would worked out best for me. Good luck to you and your ladyfriend.

[timetogrow]

You can't not hurt her feelings but I suggest you say that you are very flattered that she feels about you the way she does but you can't reciprocate them.

 

Yes, i know i will not feel the same way she feels about me. She is the one who initiates everything, trying to get to know me at the first place and going out shopping etc.

 

I know it would be devastating to her for me not to be with her. Sigh...don't know what to do.

[DanDee]

I agree with DN. However from what you say she sounds seriously infatuated and might not be able to just be friends. So, once you tell her keep your distance for a while so she can get over you.

[abitbroken]

Well - if she is just a girl that "likes you", she doesn't LOVE you, she is infatuated with you.

[timetogrow]

Thank you so much for the inputs and i really appreciate your advice.

[timetogrow]

Well - if she is just a girl that "likes you", she doesn't LOVE you, she is infatuated with you.

 

She said the other day that she didn't know why she likes me so much and either didn't know why she liked her ex-boyfriend. I am not sure if it is infatuation. It would be a relief if it is "infatuation" which i hope will end soon. Thanks

[timetogrow]

i agree. it's not fun, but you just need to tell her the truth. it will hurt her less in the short run. tell her you don't have the feelings for her necessary to have a romantic relationship.

 

Thanks! i know it is the way that i am supposed to do.

[abitbroken]

She said the other day that she didn't know why she likes me so much and either didn't know why she liked her ex-boyfriend. I am not sure if it is infatuation. It would be a relief if it is "infatuation" which i hope will end soon. Thanks

 

Its not love - love is respectful. Infatuation is "if I can't be with him, I'll die". And she has emphasized how handsome you are versus the way you click, etc.