seanyd08 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I feel like i dont know what love is. considering that none of my relationships have worked out for over 4 months, i clearly have never felt love. I seem to have a habbit of chasing someone... then when i get them or get close... my feelings just 'die'. I dont feel the same as i did. but silly me usually tells them how i feel, so this just makes me look like a massive player. Please tell me what your opinion is on this. DONT hold back, rip into me if you want. Bottom line is, i want to find this 'love' that everyone seems to have. I feel so alone (Hence why i am on these forums.) Most of my friends have these great relationships, even getting engaged. im so happy for them... but i want it so bad. Link to comment
justbrowsing Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 It's ironic you ask that because the other day I heard that old song: "I Wanna Know What Love Is". I kept on thinking the same thing. I am not the best person to give advice, but maybe you just haven't truly given opened up to these people. I don't know how you are physically w/them, but maybe it's too fast and you need to know them on more of an emotional level. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 The 'dance away lover' is an actual psychological term for someone who is ultra-attracted to the chase but nothing beyond that, or who can sometimes stay challenged in a relationship just long enough to extract love from the other before dropping them and moving on to the next challenge. Often once the dumpee starts moving on to someone else, the dance-away wants them back again--but that's only long enough to 'win' them and drop them again. However, I wouldn't diagnose yourself too quickly. You don't say how old you are, but I'd make it a point to examine whether this has just been a pattern of your youth because you really don't find these women attractive after getting to know them better. An inability to fall in love with just anyone isn't a bad thing--love is supposed to be RARE and meaningful. Just because you can't fake it or settle doesn't mean you have a problem, it means you haven't met the right person. If you're old enough to suspect that you honestly couldn't love someone no matter who she is, I'd pursue therapy to see if you're right. If so, your therapist is trained to treat this kind of issue. If not, you'll have ruled out a psyche problem and will need to learn plain ol' patience like the rest of us. Link to comment
seanyd08 Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 The 'dance away lover' is an actual psychological term for someone who is ultra-attracted to the chase but nothing beyond that, or who can sometimes stay challenged in a relationship just long enough to extract love from the other before dropping them and moving on to the next challenge. Often once the dumpee starts moving on to someone else, the dance-away wants them back again--but that's only long enough to 'win' them and drop them again. What you have said here explains me exactly, the bad part is that it makes me look like a complete $#@%wit Link to comment
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