not sure what is going on.. advice please?

[kinetic32]

ive posted a few threads on here about this relationship..

 

we have been togethor for about 18 months. we have always had such a wonderful time togethor.. we fight like any other couple. we have talked about getting married and how this was all fate and meant to be.. and her and I are the ones for each other. we have broken up twice.. mostly because we just cont communicate correctly. i think in the heat of battle we dont celebrate our differences and we both run.

 

we had our second break up at the beginning of this month. it was my fault it happened. I reacted and let my temper get out of control. i can be verbally abusive at times. which i am in counseling for. and reading and learning to control.. which i am making great progress and doing very well.

 

after about 2 weeks into the breakup she responded to me. after I have sent a few emails and mailed letters about what is going on and owning up to my mistakes and claiming responsibility for my actions... i have told her I still love her and shes the one.. and miss her.

 

i have also challanged her on saying she doesnt feel the same or even cares or wont forgive me. to which she replies.. that forgiveness takes time.. and if still didnt truly care she wouldnt talk to me or have shed a tear.. let alone many.

 

present day... we have spoke on the phone twice once last week and yesterday.. we have great talks and there is no tension or anger..

 

i sent her flowers yesterday, to which she said thank you, said they are beautifull and has put them next to her bed..

 

during this whole time.. she absolutley refuses to express any emotion. she is not willing to talk about things or tell me how she feels..and refuses to respond to any texts if i mention something about how i feel.. she just wont acknowledge emotional talk.

 

this confuses me.. i dont know if she still loves me or if this is going to slowly go into a friend thing only.. she wont meet me.. is she over all of this and im jjust holding onto false hope.. i have asked her that as well.. no answer. it as if those texts just somehow dont make it through.

 

im at a point where i dont know what to do.. is it all a test to see if i have changed and learned to control my feelings and force.. and am willing to be there regardless? to see how much i can take ? waiting for me to get sick of this and bail again?

 

or has she shut herself off? and is to scared

 

am i just being strung along?

 

does she not have the heart to tell me she no longer feels the way i do?

 

does she still feel the same about me?

 

should i move on and start dating again?

 

ive never dealt with this before in a relationship..

[Rigoletto]

Sounds like she's done. All you can do is keep calling and telling her how much you love her and how much she should be with you because of fate or whatever. Persistence pays. She's probably testing your resolve.

[catfeeder]

You speak of challenging her, and in her shoes, I'd view that as manipulative and it would push me further away.

 

I'd back off and trust that she knows how to contact you if she ever wants to. It may not be as quickly as you'd like, and the degree of reconciliation you seek may not be either, but she's making it clear that her calendar is about her--not you. If you continue to demo that you don't respect that, then you're only giving her the best possible reason for opting not to reconcile with you--at all.