CamDoggie Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Ok I need opinions... My girlfriend and I of 5.5 years are no longer together, and just as we were just about to get back together, she instead goes to a guy 8 years older than her (ya great huh?) You can see the story here Anyway, like 3 days into the relationship, I end up talking to her stupidly trying to get her back, and she tells me that she is in love with him!!! AFTER 3 DAYS?!? .....What?!? The best part is that she says she loves him because he reminds her of me...lol, if that is true then what the hell was wrong with the original? Anyway, apparently these 2 are all into each other, and they work together so that just adds to everything...she spends almost every night at his house, and I know by now she has already had sex with him. I know she is gone now, and I would not take her back in the least, but I just need some insight? Is it actually possible that she is in love with the guy? Or is this just a temporary infatuation? Thoughts? Link to comment
livinginsbi Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 You've never heard of a rebound relationship? Link to comment
CamDoggie Posted December 21, 2009 Author Share Posted December 21, 2009 Read my previous post... In short, we broke up, she rebounded, and just as we were about to get back together, she runs off with this guy... Is there such thing as a second rebound? Except this time they are both ridiculously infatuated with each other Link to comment
livinginsbi Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 ummm.. yes...and I don't need to read any other posts to tell you.. don't worry about what she is doing and who she is doing it with. How is having these answers, which by the way, only SHE can give you the correct answer... is going to help you heal. Does it matter if she really loves him? or how quick it happened? What exact insight are you looking for? That she is scum for doing what she did? You are hurt and you need to not be concerned about what she is doing or why. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 I know you want her back but why? Shes rebounding and it's gross! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 I just looked at your other thread. This woman sounds very immature, like she is sowing her wild oats. She is bouncing from one guy to the next. I don't think she is in love with the other guy, only infatuated because he is new. Like the other guy she was with who I suspect she slept with as well contrary to what she claims. So, now, in the matter of 3 months she has had rebound 1, you and then rebound 2. Pretty disgusting. I would steer clear of her..she seems to have lost her mind. Link to comment
Hobbes Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 I would steer clear of her..she seems to have lost her mind. Tough as that is to hear, it's probably sadly on the ball. Sorry you are going through this T3hShultzie, stay strong! Link to comment
ghostdog Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 You ex is almost certainly 100% not already in love with someone else... just a bit infatuated about a new relationship without all the drama and pain yall's relationship! Link to comment
CamDoggie Posted December 21, 2009 Author Share Posted December 21, 2009 Don't get me wrong, I really DON'T want her back now.... That's kind of like having someone dip their balls in your soup dish...and then still eating from it. Why the hell would I want to do that? lol I was honestly just interested to hear what everyone had to say, and you are right, she is probably sewing her wild oats (that I didn't even know she had, I guess she is like her mother) and has very much lost her mind! Link to comment
wlh22 Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Dude... i had the exact same experience... so... its very painful but slowly u hv to let go... it is difficult because it leaves u with all these questions... and you don't want her back (and rather you shouldn't) ... but u miss being with her... those are two diff things.. hang in there... Link to comment
CamDoggie Posted December 21, 2009 Author Share Posted December 21, 2009 Yes I will admit to that. Although at first I did miss her, I realize now that she is nothing of what I knew her to be. So in fact I miss what we "had"...thankfully I know that I will find something like that again. Right now I need to focus on being happy with myself before I am able to be happy with someone else. Sadly she will have to find that out the hard way. She will most likely keep going from guy to guy until her emotions but up so much that it will end up exploding, then she will be in the situation I am in right now...hopefully she doesn't end up doing something stupid. Its just sad...I thought I knew her and I was only delaying the person that was trying to get out of her. Link to comment
Wonderment Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Bottom line is: young or not, integrity is not to much to expect, she does not have to act on "sewing wild oats", she CHOSE to. Says a lot about what kind of person she is. DO. NOT. GO. BACK. unless she spends considerable time making it right and apologizing. Because.. say she came back next week.. and you just happily took her back because you were relieved and didnt wanna rock the boat.. .. way worse will happen in the future. Like.. what if this happened 3 years from now and y'all had a 2 year old child? Imagine knowing she's traipsing off to the new guys house with your child with her. Icky feeling, really icky feeling. A person who's a decent person and worth it and SERIOUSLY just had a lapse in judgement and was truly sorry would suck up and apologize their A$$ off. "So my day can't get much better...I was in your presence for most of the day... " This is why you want to defriend her. This was for YOUR EYES, not his. She can say that kind of stuff TO him in real life, she doesnt need to post it online. Unless she wants someone else to see it. Someone else who is YOU. and this show's her character also.. she's willing to manipulatively post messages to him.. knowing she has you in mind... and trick him that it was solely because she loves him so much. What a woman. Know what you could do to tell? Is her facebook private or open? If its open... delete her. You can still look if you want anyways. Or, do you have mutual facebook friends? chances are you'll be able to click links when she posts on your mutual friends statuses and be able to see her whole wall anyways... I bet her status updates about him will stop when she doesnt have you in the audience. and, it doesnt matter now, because you dont want her, but.. going NC and deleting her.. she's human , like you, she might spend some days thinking you've given up, but she's also going to start wondering what you're doing, who you're with, if her safety net is gone, if you're still on a string.. etc.. and that will eat at her. even while she's with him. Link to comment
Wonderment Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Oh and my point, about defriending her is-- take away her audience. She likes that. You'll be taking away part of her "fun", might not even seem as much fun to be with the guy if she has no access to hurt you with it. Doing this is shifting power. She has power right now and if you defriend her and make HER wonder .. you have rebalanced the power. Link to comment
atelis Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 i give you credit for staying in a relationship for so long with someone so needy and desperate. Perhaps you need to look at why you were attracted to someone like her in the first place..........sounds to me like you dodged a bullet. Anyone who says they are in love after 3 days is either retarded (no offence to retarded people) or clinicly insane. Link to comment
CamDoggie Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 Wonderment, what you said is what I think my subconsciousness has been trying to tell me all along, but that I denied thinking it for the simple fact that I would hate to believe that people like that in the world actually existed. Because of what you said it has made it very easy for me to de-friend her, and you are right, through mutual friends I am still able to see her on facebook lol. Link to comment
blueclothes Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Dude, this girl is whacked. You have got to ask yourself, is it good for you to care about whether or not she truly is in love with dude, which she isn't? She is rebounding, playing games with you, all that stuff. Don't allow those games to work. Link to comment
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