Go in a text war with the ex

[JoJo90814]

So ive been nothing but hurt by this guy but the part of me that still loves him and remembers the good in him wants him back. Wants him to want me. Wants there to be good energy between us.

 

A little background: We went out for about 8 months. We were very close and werent seeing anyone else but he did not want to put a label on the relationship. He said he was too messed up inside. He cried and cried and said he loved me. he was inconsistent in his feelings about me. But I stuck around because a) I was dumb and B) because we really had a connection. So since I needed more after 8 months, I ended it, with him crying, wanting more time etc.

 

Then a week later he slept with some girl that his roommate/best friend had been sleeping with. I was devastated and I called and cussed him out.

 

Anyways a few months passed and I decided I wanted to make amends to clear any negative energy between us. He was so sweet and nice to me, acting like he wanted to be with me again. BIG MISTAKE. A month went by and he ended up telling me, "now that weve been apart and that im in a healthier place, I realize the real reason I didnt want to be with you is because there is no spark there. I could never fall in love with you." That killed me. So after that I stopped talking to him again.

 

Well recently his roommate flirted with me and I flirted back a little. Then one night I drank too much and really flirted with him. But I said I was sorry and was drinking. But he has ignored me. So desperately here and there I have texted him cause I cant stand the thought of him being mad at me. Today he finally responded with a "leave me alone, get over it, move on." Really mean. Now I know that my behavior isnt the healthiest, but this has been a really hard break up for me, really hard. Anyways, then of course I wanted to hurt him back so I said mean things back.

 

Then he told me there was nothing good about me, that he was way too good for me, that he's moved on, that he thought I was a loving and caring person and he was wrong etc etc etc. That im emotionally immature, that he's happy and healthy now, ...all kinds of untrue mean things.

 

I just feel so rejected and hurt. To me this was the closet ive ever been to a man, but he has had a couple of serious committed relationships. I just feel like an idiot, and heartbroken. I took it way more seriously then he did. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me because this pattern has happened over and over again in my dating life. That I dont react well to breakups and I have an extremely hard time letting go. I feel so stupid for how I have acted now that its over.

 

Im just looking for some kind words, support, advice or anyone who has similar stories. thanks

[vertigoxo]

He's a jerk, straight up. His so called emotional issues would probably crop right back up and he would feel like an idiot once he realizes he won't have you for a shoulder to cry on anymore.

 

He said all those things to you because deep down, HE'S the one with the problem here, not you. HE'S the reason the relationship ended, not you. So instead of taking it like a man, he turns the tables around and blames you for the relationship's downfall. I don't think so!

 

I know it hurts, really, I do. I've been there... But you need let this one go. He's trouble.

[mca1975]

He's horrible, stay away from him and do not have any contact with him, or you will continue to get hurt. The only way to avoid hurt is to stay away from him, not matter how much THAT hurts x

[fLuiD]

You brought this all onto yourself, and you have felt the pain. You are aware that this is not healthy, and that you shouldn't be treated this way. This is the best motivation and inspiration to get moving on. Now that you have come to those realizations, its time you put the effort into stopping it. At this point, that means rid yourself of him. Change your cell phone number, AIM/AOL Screennames, and begin No Contact. No Contact too difficult? Take it in small leaps. Try one full day of no contact and make sure you tally it up. You want to be exact to the hour so if you tell yourself today at 4:15pm that you will not text,IM, EMail, Call, or send smoke signals to him, you have not completed a full day of NC until tomorrow at 4:15pm. Give yourself the tally for one day. Whenever you snap and text him, make sure you remember the times of your last contact with him, and start your No Contact all over again. After a few times of slipping up on No Contact, you will get upset at yourself for not being able to keep up with your promise to yourself that you will not contact him again. Eventually, it will come naturally to you, and you will start feeling better. We are here for you in your journey and always glad to help any way we can.