Does this man like me really?

[AngryHeart]

I've been seeing two guys I met off an internet dating site. I like one of them a lot, and not sure where I stand. I met him for the first time a few weeks ago, were talking online around a week beforehand. All-in-all have hung out 3 or 4 times.

 

Thursday night we were kissing, touching and he came out with "I'm really enjoying hanging out with you" I said I am too. He was kinda stuttring and having difficulty explaining what he was thinking. But the gist of it was "I like you, but I can't say let's be in a relationship yet because we don't really know each other. I don't want to take advantage of you and hurt you, so I'm just saying where it stands for me. I take a little while to get to know someone" Now this came out randomly... We talked a little more about it, and he said his last relationship he hung out with her for 4 months until they were official. He said he thinks that was slow, and about half of that time would be about rigth for him . I asked him if he was afraid to get close to people, he said "Yes, I guess I am"

 

The thing is, he never calls or texts me first. I'm the one to text him first. The other week it went six days with nothing, and I kinda assumed he was over me, but text him to ask him to hang out just incase.He "sounded" enthusiastic about wanting to - So we did.

 

When he dropped me off Friday morning, I was like "sooo..." and he goes "Not sure when it will next be, not sure what my plans are, but we can do something sometime next week. And let me know if you're already in the city. (I live in a village just outside) I said "Ok then. Text me sometime." He said "likewise" I laughed and said, "Don't leave it ages!" and he laughed and said "I probably will! I'm rubbish at communicating!"

 

Then I text him Saturday night, saying "I'm a drunk vampire/zombie" he texted back "Heh, vampire nice, zombie not so hot!" I didn't reply because I got busy, and then was sick the next day. But I replied yesterday with "Hey, I pull off the zombie look well!" Granted, it was a late reply and he maybe thought it was odd I sent it then. he told me before how sometimes his texts don't arrive until later. So maybe he thought it was one that had just came through super late. Anyways, no reply.

 

He says he likes me, acts like he does when we're together - but why am I doing all the work then? Should I maybe say something? Is he scared? Simply taking it slow? Not interested? I don't really know what to do...

[onewithbooks]

Honestly I think it sounds like if he is interested he needs to step it up. The next time ya'll get together just make your feelings clear. Tell him you are definitely interested in getting to know him and that you would like to see him on a regular basis. If he says that he would like it to, you could say that it kind of surprises you that he should say that considering you feel like you have initiated things most of the time.

 

You also might want to find out why he is "rubbish at communicating", this sounds like a big red flag to me. If he cant handle calling you for a date, how will he deal with potential relationship issues?

[mysticdaisy]

I'd say he probably means exactly what he said - a bit afraid of getting close to people and he takes a long time to get to know them.

 

Shy/wounded or something. If that's cool with you and you like him enough or think you might like him enough to be patient with him, I'd let it go a little longer still and see if he starts warming up as promised.

 

If you just aren't feeling it, or you really need that pursuit and communication suaveness, then let it go.

 

But I think he almost definitely does like you. I mean it would be really dumb and ridiculous to making up issues like "It's hard for me to get close" for no reason other than to squeeze a couple more dates out of somebody he wasn't interested in... don't you think?

[top bloke]

Leave him and see if he makes the first move.If he missess you.If he does he will call. I have met women like that when I was single...they were draining

[mad rabbits]

I laughed and said, "Don't leave it ages!" and he laughed and said "I probably will! I'm rubbish at communicating!"

 

This does not bode well.

 

I'm not saying he doesn't like you but it sounds like he is setting up what you can expect from him here. If a guy says he's rubbish at communicating he probably is, do you want that?

[lazykitty]

Listen, if a guy digs you they will call or a least text every couple of days.

 

Of course he seems happy when he's with you because there's a chance he might hook up with you because you seem smitten.

 

If you feel like you are doing all the work....if it feels awkward...or empty...or going no where then just stop it right now and forget about him. It shouldn't be a game.

 

His comments to you when he left you sounded sarcastic, immature, and careless.

 

 

Drop him honey.

[iamevan]

I have to disagree with some of the thoughts here. Personally I find that when I like someone that it's actually harder to call or text. I can't speak on behalf of the guy involved in this question, I'm no mindreader. But that old thought that "if a guy likes you enough, he'll call" isn't exactly accurate. Personally, I don't usually speak to people unless they speak to me first. I have never felt comfortable just calling a girl out of the blue. At the same time I have pretty good communciation skills. It's not like there would be a lack of conversation with me. I just think that the guy was being sincere by saying he is "rubbish at communicating". I don't think it was a game or anything. I think that saying something that could jeopardize his chances is reason enough to believe he was being sincere.

[Scarlet 1]

if you are doing all the work now you will be doing all the work in the rst of the relationship! lazykitty is right! a guy that likes you alot will call you! not that i'm saying he doesn't like you but you shouldn't do all the work! something seems off!

[lady00]

I laughed and said, "Don't leave it ages!" and he laughed and said "I probably will! I'm rubbish at communicating!"

 

This does not bode well.

I'm not saying he doesn't like you but it sounds like he is setting up what you can expect from him here. If a guy says he's rubbish at communicating he probably is, do you want that?

 

I agree. In my case, with the last guy that said this to me, I felt like I was doing all the work and he told me he was the same way with his ex and she didn't like it either. I ended up concluding that one day when he finds someone he is really into, he will treat her differently.

[AngryHeart]

Yeah, I'm fed up with putting in all the effort. He's a grown man - older than me - he should be able to step up. Even if he's afraid of being hurt, etc. if he likes me that much wouldn't he think about me a bit more? Then I guess I haven't complained, so maybe he thinks I'm fine with the way things are. I'm thinking of just coming out and asking him what's up. I'm the kind of person that would rather just know where I stand, rather than keep wondering and possibly wasting time. With this "I'm no good at communicating" I dont really get that, because that's one of the things I like about him - that we have good discussions when we're together. I know he has reasonably low self-confidence, but I dunno...

 

Thanks for the replies.