Here is a personal statement from ajaxajax

[ajaxajax]

Here is a personal statement...and the truth about things now with all of my emotion in the most diplomatic fashion:

 

I joined eNotAlone because I felt that I couldn't resort to anyone for RELIABLE help with various issues. In my city of Adelaide, Australia (which has about 1 million people), I felt all by myself even within my family of two parents and five siblings...me the eldest. I had issues with women and how they saw me, how I saw myself as an Italian/Australian mixed blood in Australia, how my father expected me to exist, how society expected me to exist and, basically, how I live the way I want to.

 

Apart from some good threads and some good support, I felt that I was banging my head on the wall by asking for help here.

 

Through eNA, I didn't know that women are biologically really after men who are strong, confident, independent and down right masculine. The Sensitive New Age Guy was seen as nothing more than a revenge invention by the feminist movement against perceived "gang-raping" by the male race. I tried to make myself look like what women said they wanted when in actual fact they were saying the opposite of what they meant. And, I am still more lonely than Hell here...even though so many women tell me how much of a good catch I'd make! I only wished for a bit more honesty on this regard.

 

My romantic and social loneliness stemmed from me trying to make myself better than dog crap from one of the lower levels. I wasn't born wealthy, my father wasn't born wealthy. It wasn't our fault, yet we were treated like it was. I was being punished for trying to figure out how to break the glass ceiling into decent livelihood at a time when EVERYONE would almost kill to achieve the same thing. Even if I did ask for some genuine help on how to deal with certain issues in life, I just got told to deal with it. In other words, they said: "I had to cop the same bull****, so why shouldn't you?"

 

eNA also didn't make me understand that for me to be respected and for me to live how I want, conflict and criticism were always going to be expected. I'm obviously very proud of myself and how I am. Even though some people in real life "tried" to curse me to Hell for being Italian and Catholic or say that the Italians can never get enough sufferring just because "WE" crucified Jesus Christ or because we have the Pope...thanks very much, Dan Brown and the Da Vinci Code. WE deserved that punishment just because we are, well, not WASPs (arguably the most powerful people on Earth, who appear to get anything they want...even women)? Excuse me, we "DESERVE" punishment? How's this for punishment?!

1. After the fall of the Roman Empire, Rome's population fell by 98% within a few centuries and was constantly wrecked for several hundred years

2. Italy experienced constant battles and invasions after the fall by everyone from Vikings to Arabs for at least 700 years

3. Italy copped at least two European "black plagues", each time killing at least half of all the people living there

4. When Italy looked like starting to join up into a single nation in the 1400s-1600s, many other parts of Europe had other ideas and just simply took over different bits and pieces and kept Italians oppressed until 1861

5. 26 million Italians (including my father's parents) fled Italy since 1861 - many of whom not only never came back but wanted to throw away our Italian identity like a piece of rubbish...and ended up worse off for it

6. The country had a military dictatorship for a good 21 years

7. It became heavily damaged by both World Wars I and II and copped both the Great Depession and the Global Financial Crisis

8. Even with an economic boom starting from the 1950's that saw tens of millions of Italians being lifted out of poverty, people still tell us that it's a tourist dependent backwater and that any trip to southern Italy is a Mafia death sentence!

9. Even today, Italy still has an economic dividing line between the world beating north and south...with many parts down south still having double digit unemployment and making Italy look not as prosperous and reliable as it's likely to be in every publication from UN reports to The Economist! Even though the south makes legal business as good as the north.

 

And WE still "deserve" punishment? All I can say is that any Italophobe out there who still thinks so should go and look in his/her own F*****G backyard first! I had to say we just had enough "punishment"...end of story.

 

All I can say now is that taking things out on people might not be the best thing to solve my problems and dealing with the disgraces of the world and of life. The good news for me is that all of my doubters, including anti-male women and Italian-haters, are as weak in reality as they think of me! I can't believe that I can even find some here on eNA.

 

So, I'd also like to say that I'm about to pull out from eNA. That way I can learn to finally embrace myself as a dignified human and genuine man who can be taken and accepted for who he really is. And that I can finally achieve the things I want out of life, which obviously doesn't last forever.

 

To all those who positively supported me here - and to those who didn't but wanted to deep inside, thank you and may God (or whatever you believe in) help you with making yourselves the best you can be. I'd rather not say what I wanted to tell those who didn't...and are proud of it.

 

Grazie and thank you.

 

JD

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Sorry you feel so put out by people here on ENA. I hope you can find the happiness you are searching for.

[ajaxajax]

It's not only being put out by some here, but also being put out by many people in the flesh. There's no point acting the victim all the time, is there, in reality or on the Web?

[itsallgrand]

I wish you good luck. Haven't really gotten to know you.

 

It isn't right if you are being discriminated against. There are never any good reasons for that.

 

But I agree with you that it doesn't serve you, as a person, to carry the victim mentality. So with that in mind, I think you'll do great.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It's not only being put out by some here, but also being put out by many people in the flesh. There's no point acting the victim all the time, is there, in reality or on the Web?

 

There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you are a victim..the problem is when someone finds the victim status "comforting" in the sense that they don't rise above it and get on with things...in other words, in their mind putting their middle finger up at those who victimized them and striving to walk out of victim mode.

[ajaxajax]

Well, itsallgrand, it's pretty much impossible to really know someone as (s)he is just through a forum. But, thanks for your thoughts and thanks too, Crazy. I hope you both have the best of luck too.

[Lucius]

Good luck, man. I hope you find the acceptance, respect, and happiness that you deserve. Take care.

[waveseer]

It is not our history that limits our future but our perception of reality. No matter how you arrived at where you are the fact is that's where you are. What you choose to do about your current situation is entirely up to you. You have all the power and you hold all the cards. Your ability to live the life you want and be the person you want is not dependent on what anyone may think of you. We don't have to live your life, you do, so don't make our opinion (or anyone else's) matter more than it should. You are free.

[thejigsup]

My grandparents came from Germany. Talk about being looked at askance! I never let it bother me. Love yourself, we all have an intrinisic worth as human beings that no one should be able to take away from us (though some try pretty hard to do this!) Keep your head up and make your life what YOU want it to be, not what others try to mold you into being. Good luck.