Is she trying to tell me something???

[Chan209]

I really don't know where to start with this since I've never heard of this kind of thing happening to anyone, so bear with me. I would type out EVERYTHING, but I would seriously give War and Peace a run for it's money.

 

A little background... Last year I began having feelings for my childhood best friend who is now 27 (I'm 26). We've known each other since birth. Last year we began making plans on moving in together, which we're still planning on doing. Upon finding out that she was interested in me, but scared of getting hurt, I took it upon myself to pretty much bring it up and ask her if she'd like us to give it a shot. See this thread: link removed about it. I asked her on New Years Eve night. She said she was for it, but asked that we take it slow so if it doesn't work out, we can still be friends. I was the happiest person on earth upon hearing it.

 

Since that day, not a word has been mentioned of that conversation.

 

Things are still the way things were. We're still planning on moving in together, etc... etc...

 

What gets me, is all of this: If anyone can make any sense out of it, I'd be eternally grateful.

 

In the last few months she's been telling people that we're engaged, that we'll be getting married next year, that I'm her boyfriend, etc..etc.. She tells me "just play along with it". It's not just one person she's told this to, but MANY people. Hell, she even told her parents (I guess in a tongue-in-cheek way) that me and her were going to run off to Las Vegas and get married. Her parents were thrilled beyond belief. She's even brought it up with me about us getting married a couple times. I caught her off guard once and said in a serious tone, "You know, we should!". She then acted like she wanted to respond to it, but covered it up with a fake laugh.

 

Regarding moving in together..... we're so far from "roommate" talk, it's not even funny. It's all "we" stuff. Like "we can buy a house together", "we can buy a car together", etc... They're all big "we's" that people that plan on spending the rest of their lives together would talk about. She even told me she's willing to relocate with me wherever I end up after graduating.

 

She has a son who is almost 5. Greatest kid in the world. He's been referring to me as "stepdad" and even she has been referring to me as it. We were talking the other day and she told me that I'm more of a dad to her son than his own biological dad is and that for Fathers Day they want to take me out. For his upcoming birthday me and her are planning on taking him to Disneyland for his birthday. It was something we both came up with for him. On another note, he'll be starting Kindergarten soon and she asked me to come along with her to meet his teacher before the year begins. She's even gone as far as to suggesting we get a picture of all 3 of us and send it to a couple of my relatives with a note saying they have a nephew.

 

Once we get moved in and settled she told me that she'd like to take her ex to court to get custody of her son taken away from him and actually would like me to end up with joint custody of her son with her.

 

I really don't know exactly where she's going with all of this. I know she's been through a lot of crap in the past with relationships and she is scared of getting hurt again. Could this be her way of trying to ease into something slowly without getting hurt?? A backdoor approach, so to speak?? Can anyone give me any idea on what she might be trying to tell me or what she wants?? I guess I'm just confused as nothing has been said of the conversation of me and her giving it a shot...and then have all this happen. Any and all help is appreciated.

 

(This version is the gist of it. I would type up the extended version, but you'd be here until Christmas 2006 reading it)

[lisaria]

Hey Chan,

Have you asked her? If so and she hasn't said anything, then tell her how you feel and ask how she feels and don't take nothing but the honest truth from her. It sounds like you guys have a slight communication problem and that's not good. You might suggest working on it with her.

Just my thoughts.

Lisa